I've come into the office this evening to print out some papers for the exam tomorrow.

I've been working so so hard for this without knowing why. I know it's foolish but it's easier than making a choice.

It is a really beautiful evening tonight. It's 8:30 pm and the sun hasn't set yet. The sky had a yellowish hue and on my walk in, I saw through the spokes in the london eye, what I initially thought were thin streaks of clouds like brush strokes of paint but turned out to be the white smokey things that planes leave behind. It was a real pity I didn't have my camera with me.

It was probably in the mid-twenties but the wind, which somehow has a knack of chilling me to the bone irregardless of the temperature made it feel much colder. It was a nice refreshment for a change. Something to snap me out of my miserable tax-induced stupor.

Maybe I'm getting into one of my sappy moods but it was such a beautiful evening it actually made me feel a little sad. A little sad for myself but relieved that tomorrow will be the end of this, sad for Gillian when I thought about how hard she has been working and the problems she's had with Jez, sad for basically everyone stuck at pwc, working their lives away.

And to make it sappier still, this beautiful jazzy melody came wafting though the train tracks just next the the bridge. I've been curious about the source of the music for a while. I've heard it quite a few times and it always makes my evening. I had come to the conclusion that it was from a boat that happened to be always parked under the bridge but today, I realised it was actually from a busker who was on another bridge parallel to the Jubilee bridge and on the other side of the train tracks. The sound of the music almost brought a tear to me.

And as I was, crossing the Jubilee bridge, I had this epiphany. I realised that I've come full circle.

In 2003, I told Mom I'd give PwC a shot instead of moving to some remote place to save the world and I believe my efforts were definitely not half-hearted. And here I am, 4 years down the road and feeling the same kind of emotions as I did before.

It's uncanny.

But a good kind of uncanny.

It all seems to make a little more sense to me.

The thing about living away from home and by that, I mean Singapore, is that, be it being in Sydney or London, there are times when you're by yourself, especially when you're outside, when you just feel quiet. Internally. Because it feels as if the world is like this really big place and there you are, just a little speck. And then there are people around you going about their business, not paying you any attention. And then you just wonder, how the hell did I get here.

Maybe it sounds corny and maybe no one else feels it but me. But i'm pretty sure I have felt this a few times.

Sometimes it can be unsettling in a way. Especially when you're in a bad way where you are, bad relationship, bad work life, bad friends. This 'I'm so insignificant' sort of feeling could make such a person really miserable. But i guess tonight, it just made me think, wow, the world is a strange place and here I am, going about my business, taking little steps, just walking along and how the hell did I even get here, because if you really think about it, Singapore, to Sydney to London is quite an adventure.

Things can't be all that bad I've realised. Life's out there waiting for me to grab it by its horns and tomorrow, when the clock strikes 12:30, I'll be off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz