Wednesday, April 04, 2007

http://www.flickr.com/photos/56168029@N00/

Birthday pictures!!

Marty was really good to organise the party and even went to the extent of baking a cake for me.

He's come a long way since the days of "let my girlfriend and her flat tyre rot for all I care"

Thank you for everything Marty poopy.... The camera is awesome

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You know how people get excited about a holiday and can't sleep the night before, how when they look forward to something that's a long way away, time slows to a crawl and the day seems so unbelievably far off and doesn't seem to draw any nearer, and how usually, the night before, they stay up all night the night before, wide awake with excitement?

Well... I didn't even feel a tinkly of anything which I think is either because I wasn't too enthused about coming home and going to the UK OR all my excitement cells have taken a holiday, perhaps trying to avoid the chemical abuse I have been putting myself through lately.

I actually suspect it's more of the latter.

It's been a long while since I've felt any enthusiasm for anything. Not to say that I'm unhappy, I am rather contented (except with work) but something seems to be missing. The only time I felt a remote tinkle of happiness was at my recent birthday and even then, the feeling dissipated pretty quickly.

My dopamine levels must be low...

I mean, reading past blog entries (circa 2005), one can see how different a person I am. I worry that I have become an apathetic lump of coal. Worry and apathy sounds like a contradiction but I miss my old self! and my logical side has come up with this explanation.

As such, I have decided to embark on a detox. If my diagnosis is true, hopefully this and my trip to the UK will sort me out.

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