Had my first proper game of soccer today and it rocked!

I finally understand why guys get so obsessed.

Marty rounded up a group of us and signed us up for mixed soccer. He bossed me into buying a pair of soccer boots which i grudgingly did so for 10 bucks (there was a sale on at rebel sport. yay sale!)

Mark from work (who used to play pro and now coaches a girl soccer team) looked disapproving when I proudly displayed my ten buck boots.

Him: "For ten bucks they're gonna hurt."

Me: "But they're Reebok!!!

Marty (much later on): Are you sure they aren't Weeboks?

And even though they are made in China, they fit fine and felt really comfy. Marty was right. Having the right gear makes the game so much more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, for all my new gear (shin guards and nice addidas socks included), we conceded 2 own goals and scored zilch.

The upside was Marty said I made a really good defender and I didn't have to pay a joining fee. That's what you get for dating the Coach! Yay boyfriend!

Hopefully we can start getting some goals in next week

It was our 1st anniversary last night and we had dinner at the much talked about hurricanes.

It was good but not great. We're never going back again. Well maybe if majority wins but definitely, we will not be making the effort to.

The plus side was, we discovered a really nice book cafe which could be a good substitue for sappho's. It had a Hemingway room. Yay! Coffee was good too. Double Yay!

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Got keys of the real estate agent today.

Getting kind of excited about finding furniture and all.

Just wish that I had someone here to help me out as well.

Work has been going great!

I get off at 5:30 every day and the people working for me have been responsible and pretty intelligent.

Phew!

I've always wished that I could be one of those people who proclaim how much they love their lives and I'm beginning to feel that I could soon turn into someone like that.

Yay!

I'm beginning to feel contented with my life. Omigod! Call Ripley's!!

It's back to work again tomorrow and I absolutely dread it. This feeling I have is the exact feeling of dread I used to have on the 1st of January night, the night before the start of the new school year because my entire school holiday homework had not been touched.

I can't believe that being 26 going on 27 and I still have these kind of anxiety attacks.

It makes me really wonder the benefits of having a 2 week break right before the storm.

I wanna be a tai tai

My New Place and NYE

After hunting around for about 2 months, I have finally found a place in Glebe. Isn't it awesome? I'm quite excited but also rather broke. This place comes unfurnished so I'll have to buy 2nd hand furniture of the net which will probably set me back heaps.

I thought I was unlucky but at a bbq in Newtown today, I realised from chatting with the home owners (by the way, the newtown place looked really awesome) that prior to this place, they had been searching for about 5 months without luck. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky then.

I just wish Eugene was here to help me make decisions about which housemates and furnitures to pick.

I've come to realise that I'm really bad at such decisions.

New Year's eve was a blur.

Had a bbq house party at Marty's place and spent the night before kneading burger mince in preperation. Phew!

On the day, had a slight migraine which was a bit of a dampner and all i really wanted to do was to sleep early. The nine o'clock fireworks were pathetic and I playfully declared to the party full of aussies that Sydney's pyrotechnics was poo poo compared to Singapore's. Everyone booed me of course and tried to convince me that the midnight once were way better but i declared that I had already passed my judgement. Sydney was CRAP and that i was boycotting the midnight display.

By tenish, the headache was gone (hooray) and I decided it was time to give the party a little Zing!

by 1130, I was well and truly wasted...

meanwhile, marty had gone missing which made me feel a little helpless. He wasn't answering his phone too. He turned up a short while later but the earlier helplessness left me with an unease i could not quite shake off for the rest of the night which was a real bummer.

I did eventually pay tribute to the midnight countdown fireworks and for all the chemical euphoria i felt, the fireworks were still shit. Everyone agreed. One for Mindy Zero for Sydney.

3am, the revellers had left one by one and found myself collapsed on the living room floor, speechless with exhaustion with john on the couch. tucked john into bed with aristootle and a blankie, gave him a goodnight peck on the cheek and stumbled into bed and fell asleep dreaming of weird negative things. Not Good.

I'm beginning to wonder whether it's really worthwhile to live such a decadent lifestyle. From feeling terrible the next day to feeling terrible the next few days to feeling terrible immediately and for the next few days.

I probably have a body of a 38 year old.

I have been having some problems in the house hunting front.

Firstly, the rental market is extremely competitive now. It seems to get a place, you have to fight tooth and nail for it.

So I decided to get a house instead of an apartment because I figured the extra space would reduce any apartment living inducing claustrophobia. I mean, living in an apartment with your family is one thing. Living in an apartment with friends/strangers is another. One needs a little space once in a while.

So I began my hunt of 2-3 bedroom houses in selected suburbs. These suburbs are well known as attas suburbs with mostly young families and yuppies living there. After numerous rejections, I realised that it was naive of me to limit my options and I was never going to get a place if I continued on like that so out of sheer desperation, I extended by search to dodgier suburbs on the outskirts of the city.

Realising that sharing a 3 bedroom house would allow me to get a nicer place for a lower per person rent, I decided to ask around for a housemate and "fortunately" or so it seemed, one other Singaporean guy (name not worth mentioning) expressed interest.

So I tried to include him in my house search, even picking him up and driving him around to see houses and suburbs. Meanwhile, ignoring all the warnings given to me by Max and Eugene because I wanted to see the nicer side in a fellow human being.

His responses for each place was always polite and non-committal and I really should have smelled a rat but we have all been fools at one time or other I suppose.

So yesterday, this guy tells me he thinks he will extend his lease on his current place and wouldn't be moving in with Gene and me. I Hoorayed inwardly. So I told him that's cool and i'll just go ahead and find some other roomie if I get this house in Glebe and then he tells me Oh... if you do get the house in glebe then I'll join you too! So i go, ok.. well if you want to... And then today when I call him to tell him that we would most likely be getting this place, he tells me he has already extended his lease at his current place.

Can you see my pain?

I wonder if it's a social disability he has. It seems as if he has a problem observing common decency.

So now I'm in a dilemna, do I take the current place, the only remote sign of success I've had so far, and hope i find a new housemate? or should I find a smaller place?

it's going to be a crummy homeless xmas for me

I am finally beginning to feel the christmas cheer. A little last minute but at least it's not too late.

Will be doing last minute christmas shopping tonight in the city with Marty. We need heaps of presents for all his cousins and his parents.

Nothing like christmas shopping and departmental christmas music to enhance the holiday mood.

It's great that the weather has been grey. Strange as it may seem for me to think so but the rainy weather reminds me of Xmas in Singapore.

Tried making sticky date pudding last night and it was an absolute success!! Will be contributing that for christmas lunch.

Shopping here i come

My exam is over.

Even though I only started studying on Friday and probably chalked up all of 2 days worth of study, it felt like forever especially because marty was out the whole weekend having fun, what with luke and Matt both buying the latest Wii, everyone seems to be having house parties with booze and video games these days.

After the exam, had lunch at Burwood with Max and friends, after which, decided to give myself a much deserved reward and went shopping at Burwood and even though I promised I wouldn't buy any more cardigans, I went out and bought 3 more, a dress and 2 singlets. But, in defense, I'd like to say that the exhilaration from splurging made every single cent spent absolutely worthwhile.

Who needs shrinks when they can have retail therapy.

Went to watch Russell Peter live today at the Enmore. If a stand-up comedian can keep you laughing for more than an hour with his incessant banter, he's gotta be good.

Looks like its going to be a busy week for me. I've got house hunting to do, moving furniture, going for marty's xmas parties, hanging out with Jolene, sewing my dress (if I have the time) etc etc etc...

And next week, I think I should plan a trip up to Tarringal.

Apparently there's a dress shop there. Its name? Mine Mine Mine.

Illeanna says the dresses there are to die for =)

Road trip is just an excuse for more shopping!!

had a really awesome weekend.

Friday started out with drinks with Phil and beat at bungalow 8 with dinner afterwards, catching up with kel who just returned from his Singapore trip. Simple but satisfying way to start the weekend.

Saturday went shopping with marty who bought me a pair of shoes from nine west. Yay!! then bought some material to sew my own dress. When i actually get round to doing it.

Then went for Luke's bday celebration, which started at pier 26, followed by CBD, then to the Bavarian beer cafe, some irish pub, bungalow 8 where we stayed til closing time. By then, no other place wanted us. We got rejected by the oriental hotel and dirty jackson. possibly cos they knew we would be poor customers anyway, all we would have done was to sip water and sit around anyway. We sat at the tables outside the ship inn and finally said our goodbyes at 5ish in the morning because Luke and ceez had to rush to the airport to catch a flight to fraiser island. Brock and Zeezhan did not want the night to end just yet, headed of to embassy to see if anything was happening there

Marty and I wandered off to nurses walk where we sat, cuddled and chatted til 6am when we decided we had enough. We walked to wynyard train station and took the train home, stumbled into the shower and collapsed into bed.

After about 4 hours of sleep, we got up and headed to chatswood for lunch, did more shopping, i bought another pair of shoes, went back to Mart's chatswood home for coffee with his folksy. i was so exhausted, i fell asleep on marty's shoulder to the soothing sounds of chatting.

it's really nice to have that family feeling. having no family here, I really like hanging out with marty's parents. it gives a semblance of family life.

it makes me believe that perhaps, living here for a while longer wouldn't actually be a bad idea at all. Plus, eugene will be coming soon too!

There is hope.

This week looks up as well. My last week on Tower, having dinner with Marty's folks tomorrow, starting on Zurich as well which will be exciting.

Overall, Life's pretty good for now. The boyfriend is exceptional

my car hit a grey cat last night =(

I was giving Zeeshan and John a lift home after the guys went over to Mart's for dinner and drinks. No one could drive except for me.

We were going down the winding back roads of mosman which aren't very well lit at all.

I actually saw the cat belly crawling its way across the road and slowed down expecting the cat to have slunk its way through comfortably but instead, it turned and looked into the blinding headlights of the car and froze in the middle of the road.

I hit the breaks but it was too late and i heard a few sickening thuds as the cat disappeared from road view under the car. I wondered if I had stopped the car over the cat and half hoped i had run over it proper and that it didn't suffer to much but moments later, we saw the cat zip off with lightning speed across the road.

The guys tried to reassure me that the cat must have been alright if it was able to run away so quickly but it was still a unnerving event.

*sniff sniff*

Someone asked me the other day if it was possible to like 2 people.

"Yes." I replied. "But it isn't possible to love 2 people."

And I say this because my definition of like is a mere fondness for someone whereas my definition of Love is the feeling that you can only have that single person in your heart.

Love is outmoded these days, quite like chivalry.

Or maybe it has always been like this but no one really told us the truth until we grew up and found out for ourselves.

Ten years ago, I believed in happily ever after but now, I'd be happy if I get past the one year mark which incidentally is only 2 months away.

So between one guy and another, how does one choose?

The familiar but worn and outdated pair or the jazzy new one?

I guess it depends on the intended travel distance. If its long distance you wish to go, then the old ones seem a better choice because the jazzy new shoes might give blisters. If its just a night of partying you're after, definitely go for the jazzy new ones.

Or if you don't know how far you want to go, maybe wear one side of each pairs around for a while. Either one will come in handy at some point. although, wearing both at the same time may be tricky affair. Much like walking on a tightrope i imagine. A balancing act

Bought my very own first 6 piece set of sauce pans and pots in anticipation of my intention to move out. I feel like a grown up now :) Nevermind the fact that i have been paying rent and bills for the last year and a half

It's been a year here but God Knows where my money has gone but I am finally able to say that I have saved enough to be able to move out. Even if its on my own. Although good news is that Eugene is coming over so looking to move out together with him.

I have been looking around at a few places and have realised its usually a toss up between location and space. But of course.

So on one hand, I'd really like to move into a house but on the other hand, houses in prime districts are obviously ridiculously expensive so if its location i want then i have to compromise on size. Its a tough choice.

I just saw an apartment in kirribilli which overlooks the city skyline. I just know it will be gorgeous at night. I can just imagine listening to jazz, chilling out and having coffee in the lounge but apartments can get claustrophobic sometimes.

and then there was this house in balmain. No view whatsoever but 3 bedrooms for only 450 a week. would be great place for barbeques, dinner parties etc...

decisions decisions decisions

Marty has been hinting at my lack of interests in anything lately.

I suppose that is true to a large extent.

Somewhere between April and now, I lost my interest in hobbies that I used to enjoy. Guitar playing, shower singing or singing any where at all for that matter, cooking or whatever else Mindy likes.

God knows where the inspiration to do these things went or why they went, but disappear they did. Leaving an almost empty, introverted shell of a person. Contented to do nothing, neither happy nor sad. Which to some, may be an improvement from mopping. Who's to say.

I can understand why Marty would have a problem with this. At the moment, I have as much personality as a toothpick. I've probably turned into one of those wallflower girlfriend sorts. The types that just stand beside and slightly behind their boyfriends at functions, smiling as if it pained them, making everyone who tries to start up a conversation embarrassed with the lack of response.

I exaggerate.

Anyway, I've decided to go for swing lessons this coming Thursday.

Wish me luck

Marty has been hinting at my lack of interests in anything lately.

I suppose that is true to a large extent.

Somewhere between April and now, I lost my interest in hobbies that I used to enjoy. Guitar playing, shower singing or singing any where at all for that matter, cooking or whatever else Mindy likes.

God knows where the inspiration to do these things went or why they went, but disappear they did. Leaving an almost empty, introverted shell of a person. Contented to do nothing, neither happy nor sad. Which to some, may be an improvement from mopping. Who's to say.

I can understand why Marty would have a problem with this. At the moment, I have as much personality as a toothpick. I've probably turned into one of those wallflower girlfriend sorts. The types that just stand beside and slightly behind their boyfriends at functions, smiling as if it pained them, making everyone who tries to start up a conversation embarrassed with the lack of response.

I exaggerate.

Anyway, I've decided to go for swing lessons this coming Thursday.

Wish me luck

Sydney Sucks!

I know I don't ever want to live here for sure.

Nothing works.

Buses don't come on time, bus drivers drive off without stopping leaving you to wait another half an hour to forty five minutes for the next available bus, if it even comes. The trains break down. The ticket machines at the train station breaks down. You tell the police you've come home, the door is ajar and your house looks like its been broken into and they tell you its not an emergency and say they will transfer you to the finger printing department which puts you on hold for ten minutes. You hang up and dial the emergency number again and this time you clearly tell them you need someone to secure the premises because the trespasser might still be inside and then and only then, the light bulb goes of in their heads and they send the next available police car which takes more than half an hour to arrive. Et Cetera.

We had breakfast at kirribilli, a new cafe Ian recommended and then after which, we decided to stroll across the harbour bridge.

We wandered into a museum shop set up exactly like how it would have looked in the 1920s, selling everything from twiggy brooms to wooden clothes pegs and sticky fly paper.Even the two old ladies looking after the shop looked old and shrunken.

We continued wandering around the meandering lanes and found a nice warm spot on some benches beside some old sandstone building where we snuggled down comfortably reading our books and enjoying the soothing live jazz music wafting from a cafe nearby.

The light grey clouds in the sky occasionally blocked out the sun for a minute or two, providing a temporary haven from the sun's soon-to-be blistering rays.

When we got hungry, we found a fish and chip place and had our lunch and continued with our book reading.

We strolled through the city, Hyde park and down to oxford street, chasing sea gulls and pigeons which always managed to remain just a step ahead of us so we were never able to catch them. We didn't really say much. Conversation would have been good but sometimes, silence is good too.

We met up with others at the Paddington Inn where the boys had their beers and the girls had their diet cokes. There were so many people dressed in blue, local supporters of the soccer match.

We made our way to the stadium, along with dribs and drabs of others also going for the match before we finally converged like mercury droplets at a traffic light just in front of the stadium. A man stood barbecuing hot dogs at the pub just in front of the traffic light and all it took was for one of the boys to declare he was getting one and soon, all the boys handed their five dollar notes over in exchange for hotdogs and ketchup with fried onions in a bun. The taste of the fat from the hotdog on bread was good in its simplicity.

The stadium was awashed in a sea of blue. Beer was all around. I proudly wore Marty's Sydney FC scarf. A sign of my allegiance.

In a flurry of shots and rebounds, we managed a goal and how we jumped up for joy, clapped our hands, screamed and did little dances in jubilation. It wasn't the world cup but then again, things like that aren't meant to be had to often.

After the match, we made our way back to oxford street for dinner. We trailed slightly behind the group and held hands whilst I sang my favourite jazz tunes.

We had dinner at the pink peppercorn. Laotian food at western price. They had gorgeous pink serviettes and served white rice dappled with grains of black rice.

We excused ourselves early from dinner and made our way home, contented and exhausted.

It feels good to be back home...

Surrounded by friends who love me :)

was great having a cuddly session with jo and talking about life the universe and everying. I feel like me again....

ME ME ME!!!!!!!

This morning, i said farewell to Amanda.

For the past few months, I only saw her on the odd occasion. Mostly, I think, because our boyfriends were kind of different.

As we gave each other our bye bye huggies, I felt my eyes sting up and had to make an effort to keep the tears down. I was genuinely surprised by the strong emotions i felt then.

I have always been supportive of her leaving. Believing that moving away is always a sign of a fresh start, of opportunities and of new discoveries. I couldn't tell her to stay because I'm restless too and would leave myself if I could.

I thought I knew myself well... *shrug*

Guess not...

I can't even really explain why i feel a sense of loss.

I feel a little sorry that Amanda will be leaving Sydney but a bigger part of me knows that it's for the best.

I know how desperately she wants to get out of here and her difficulties in getting her stuff to melbourne so I offered to drive up to melbourne with her. And just like that, I find myself looking at a road trip to melbourne over the weekend.

We'll be driving up on Saturday and I'll be flying home alone on Sunday night.

It actually sounded quite exciting. I've never driven long distance before and I'll get a chance to give Jean a surprise. Plus, I get to introduce Jean to Amanda and I'm sure she'll take great care of her and introduce Chris and Andrew to her as well...

Was initially worried that things were gonna be hard for Amanda but when i had the brilliant idea to accompany her to melbourne and with that bright spark came along the other bright sparks - getting Jean to take her around - I know Amanda will be in good hands.

The only regretful thing is I'll be missing Round 2 of boyfriend's bday picnic cum house-warming at his new place on Saturday *bleah*

The boyfriend has gone off for a lan gaming session with his friends tonight. His invitation was tempting but for some reason, my body has been feeling battered and bruised, plus the miserable weather outside called for a stay in tonight.

The stay in was good, allowing me some ME time but the freezing cold does make me wish I had a warm body to snuggle up to.

I'm really excited about going home and it feels like I have a hundred and one things to do in the 4 days and 3 nights that I'll be there. My flight arrives at about 10pm and after grabbing my luggage, it's already been decided that I'm heading off to wala's to rendevous with Eugene. Jolene has also agreed to take Fri off if she has nothing important on.

It feels like there's so many people to meet up with but so little time and I've decided that meeting times shall be allocated according to meal times and coffee times. Meal times will include breakfast for people who are willing to get up early to meet up with me. No choice there. Limited time available. I can already forsee an intense 3 days of late late nights/ early mornings, lots of tehs and lots of local food - hopefully this would include vegetarian noodles, boon lay nasi lemak, chilli crab, fish slice noodles, yong tau foo, roti prata and ban mian.

yay... Singapore here I come.

On another note, it's the boyfriend's bday this Saturday. =)