Marty and I went for stand up comedy tonight. They were giving out flyers at Leicester Square offering 2 for 1 for £7. What a bargain it seemed. I was however a little apprehensive as I imagined this seedy smoke-filled joint with amateurish comedians. Oh how I hate unfunny comedians!

I was partly right.

The part that I was wrong was that the decor of the place was quite nice. Marty and I got front row leather sofa seats which were extremely comfy. Also, the first comedian out of 4 was very very good. That however raised our expectations for the rest of the night which then fell short.

The bit which I was right about was 2nd hand cigarette smoke that permeated all around including any and every crevice. Ugh! I can't wait for the 1st of July where it will be officially smoke-free in night spots here. All my coats and jackets stink of smoke because here, people are allowed to smoke every where. Even restaurants!

Another bit that I was right about was the hit and miss nature of attending stand up comedy in a comedy club when you haven't heard half the names of the acts. The compere was finger nails against blackboard cringe worthy. One did not even feel sorry for him. You know how you sometimes feel sorry for unfunny people who seem like they are trying their best right? Well, for this guy, all you really wanted was for him to be dragged of the stage and shot.

And then there was this leprechaunish looking guy with a tiny voice. Poor him. Every single sentence that came out of his mouth was punctuated by fuck. At least his antics were amusing.

The worse thing was there were quite a few weirdos in the audience.

The first weirdo was a cake girl in the front row who insisted the comedians try here philosophical cake which may or may not exist depending on how you looked at it. Egad! How do comedians put up with weird shit like that from the audience. A hand gun would do nicely in this case I'd imagine. One clean shot between the eyes.

Another guy just would not shut up and kept trying to hackle each comedian. and no amount of eye rolling from any of the comedians or insults would stop him. Things got really awkward whenever he opened his mouth. we were really freaked out when he plonked himself in the sofa next to mine. There was a bit of tension then between him and the comedian and you know how some people seem quite capable of being pushed over the edge, well this guy definitely was one of those. I had this fear that he would just turn violent cos he did behave quite drunk. Now, mind you, this guy wasn't a beef cake jock. He was an old guy with a big toothy grin, quite short as well. Nothing to be worried about you'd think but because he had this psycho vibe, even though he was really quite puny, you could just see how things could very potentially turn quite quite ugly or embarrassing.

There was also this japanese/korean girl who piped up as well. Which would have been ok had she spoke coherent english. Alas, she didn't. Her comment threw the comedian who had no clue what she was trying to get across. Well, we were all bewildered. An awkward silence ensued for a brief moment as the comedian tried to make sense of what she said. Argh!! Awkard awkward awkward...

And as a grand finale, this girl whom might I add was wearing a bright red and black cocktail dress with bright red lipstick, a face of a tranny and sequin red heels (to a comedy club??!!) snatched the mike away from the compere as he was ushering out the audience after the show.

Overdressed tranny look-a-like: Hey! You forgot about me!

(at this time, all the audience still left behind stop their packing up and wondered if it was part of the show. myself included. The compere snatches the mike back from the crazy girl who has a wide smile plastered on her face)

Compere: Sorry guys, whatever she has said, the show is OVER. Goodnight!

By this time, the girl's grin goes a little lopsided as she tries to maintain her composure. Everyone realises it's just a crazy woman talking shit and continue to leave the room. The compere ignores said woman and the mike is turned off. 10 minutes later as Marty and I make our way out, the crazy girl is still standing in front of the mike explaining to a friend what it could have been.

Overall a really weird awkward night. Not a good introduction into the world of stand up comedy clubs. However, it was still nice to be able to have a night out with Marty. Something we rarely rarely ever do. Reminds me of my life in Singapore. Late nights, smokey clothes and talking shit!

I feel young again!