KAZBAH breckie, saturday morning...

Breakfast tagine

Marty's feta potato cake with smoked salmon and cream
Bloody mary's to start the day

Ceez undecided about what to order
i'm sleepy

Marty's bday

Lately, the backyard has been bombarded by possums' shit. We now have two possums lurking around on the trees late at night.

Possums are cute and cuddly but only when they live in someone elses roof.

We were walking back home after dinner the other night when I saw a possum dashing across the road and onto a tree. I gleefully ran up towards the tree all excited. Meanwhile, the possum heard footsteps and decided, unsuccessfully to hide behind the tree, thinking that if it kept still, we wouldn't be able to see it. How clever!

I frantically peeled a mandarin (which I happened to have on hand) and offered it to the possum who was meanwhile trying to devise an escape route. The tree it had picked was quite short and isolated from any nearby fauna... keke... TRAPPED! Unrelentlessly, I cooed and clucked at the terrified possum. Think Elmira! Muahaha

It was sooo cute!

But a few days after that, we have now decided to wage a war on our resident possums. We just simply cannot tolerate the green poop that is now littered all around our backyard!

However, a quick check on google has informed us that possums are protected. Possums can only be prevented from entering into your roof cavity but it is illegal to trap and relocate them. Studies have shown that 90% of relocated possums die within days of relocation to a foreign environment.

What I don't get is how does sealing the entrance to their home make it a more humane solution? Wouldn't they die if they didn't have shelter anyway?

Maybe we should get a massive cat....

There's a nasty malingering cough/flu bug going around Sydney and all my attempts to stave it off have failed. So much for vitamin pills and mandarins.

It's my first day of work tomorrow but it's very likely now that I will have to take a day off.

This is the millionth time I've fallen sick this year...

boo hoo hoo

I love shoes

Yay new shoes on my first day back in Sydney

It's good to be back in Singapore and knowing that I'll have a week to catch up with people and shop and go for a wax, make new glasses, etc

The last day in london was an absolute nightmare. I am no longer looking forward to going back there. Not wanting to go into too much details, all I would say is that service in London is SHITE! and the thing is, there's nothing much you can do about it. The companies don't care about customer satisfaction at all!

Anyway, I shan't dwell.

I went down to wala's as expected to catch the Unxpected =)

Shirlyn's vocals never cease to amaze me and everyone else in the band seems to have gotten even better. I don't know how you can improve on perfection but they have definitely done it. Not sure about the bassist though. Asri wasn't there. But Rene seemed more smooth on the guitar and each of brandon's drum beats seemed more distinct.

Tomorrow will be family day. Lunch with grandma, parents, brother and sister-in-law and then dinner with Jean and Joy. YAY

Everyone's been saying I'm even thinner than before leaving for London. I have avoided the dreaded heathrow injection. Thank God!! Hopefully I will not kena the Changi injection what with all the dinner dates lined up.

It's been a while =)

Went to Paris a two weekends ago. Moo Moo and wuggles have been such globe trotters.

Paris was lovely save for the fact that many parisans could not speak English.

Somehow, I don't remember it being so difficult in India. It seemed more Indians speak English.

Anyway, we were all prepared to encounter rude parisians after Richard's warnings but was pleasantly surprised that most of the people we met were quite helpful and friendly. Maybe it was because we were two chinesey girls and where possible, we did turn on our helpless innocent charms. Heh

True to my mission to have croissants and coffee in a quaint cafe along the Parisian streets, our first stop once we got there was to hunt down a famous croissant bakery recommended by an article that I nicked off the net. We had so much bread in the two days we were there! Two croissants, two pain au chocolat, one mini snail, one mini pain au chocolat, one seeded bagatte, two palmier, 4 brioche buns and all these in just 2 days!!!

Sydney rant part I

I've been trying to post a blog entry for the last couple of weeks but they always end up as half written entries saved up in my virtual blackhole of an internet diary, unfinished and hence unpublished.

Will be heading off to paris tomorrow night on a coach. I love road trips because there's a certain excitement to it. You just don't get the same buzz from taking a plane.

Felt quite sad yesterday because over lunch, a comment made by a new partner from Sydney went like this... 'Oh, their command of English must be quite poor and that's why they lack the confidence to speak up'.

This was made in reference to a meeting in which pakistani managers had hardly voiced their opinions. (Might I add that there were English present at the meeting as well but this remark was not directed at them!)

Anyway, another Aussie replied, 'well in that case they shouldn't even have been promoted!'

That was a real slap in the face. The English, like the Asians, tend to be more reserved but when the English are quiet, they call it aloof. When it's an Asian, it's bad English. Fucking ignoramuses.

It seems to me that the impression of Australians here is that they are loud, bawdy and brash.

It's ironic because I think a lot of senior PwC people in Sydney think that Asian people tend to be tactless and have poor PR skills.

It is also ironic that there exists a strong sense of camaraderie within the Sydney firm so much so that sometimes it feels as if criticising anything no matter how insignificant would be tantamount to blasphamy. Not really what you'd expect from loud, bawdy and brash people.

It suddenly occured to me, that the reason for this contradiction was simply narrow-mindedness.

An 'if you're not like us you're crap' mentality.

So there I was sitting down for a 2 hour lunch surrounded by these moaning and groaning aussies lamenting on how horrible london could be. *yawn*

I couldn't help but smile when an aussie moaned about how inefficient the English are at sorting out administrative matters. Coming from Singapore, I found Sydney a bureaucratic nightmare. I think it helped living in Sydney before coming to London. My bank here has screwed me over a few times but somehow, that does bother me. Afterall, I had my fair share of banking nightmares in Sydney. These Aussies have probably used the same bank account since they were 12 and it's been too long since they've tried setting up a new one in Sydney.

Marty has gone home.

I hate goodbyes. Makes me so very very sad...

I know it's not going to be long before I go back and after a few days i'll be used to my life of a swinging 'bachelorette' sort of but still, saying goodbye was so hard.

On a brighter note, I'll be going to Bristol for work tomorrow night and putting up at the Marriot there. WooHoo! Phil's going to bring me around and show me the sights or at least I hope he will. Pity it's only going to be a night.

Hopefully will be able to get tickets for a weekend getaway in Paris. Am thinking of going back early after work ends here. I feel like Spain and Italy can wait until Marty is here to travel with me.

Thursday night met up with K, marty's cousin and neilson who are here on a holiday. I'm so inspired to move to London now.

We met K's friends Rashmi and some other guys who are from Perth and it appears that earning £500 a day is the norm here. OH~MI~GAWD!!

These guys have been working for a month and travelling for 3. No real responsibilities. That's what I call living it up. Now to convince Marty to come here asap.

In other new, Marty bought us tickets to avenue Q last night. It was the best musical we have seen so far! Check out samples of the music :)

http://www.avenueqthemusical.co.uk/the-show/audio-clips.php

The cast included muppet characters and real people. Who would have imagined that muppets and people on stage together would work but it did! The first few minutes were a little weird as I was unsure if I should focus on the muppets or the puppeteers. But after a while, you just get the hang of it and pretty soon, it felt like the most natural thing to have a muppet with and human/actor body. Seeing is believing anyway.

I arrived a couple of minutes late and was furious at the bitch at work who made me late but after a few minutes into the show, I had laughed my troubles away. My the interlude my foul mood had dissipated!

With funny songs like 'Everyone's a little bit racist', 'The internet is for porn' and 'If you were gay', it was hard to stay upset. Definitely a must see!

After the theatre, we had dinner with Rich and Anna at a french restaurant recommended by Anna. It had excellent food and we were seated in the basement of the restaurant which felt like a cellar. It was very cramped but cosy and all the waiters were french.

We had so much food - fresh baguette with pats of butter, pate, spicy calamari for starters, fish stew for the girls, steak for richard, coquelet for marty and for desert, we had les fromage (3 cheese platter with baguette, creme brulee and un pot chocolat which literally was a cup of chocolate with two cookies. What decadence!

It's been a hectic few days!

Over the weekend, Marty and I went to a pub to catch the boring FA cup finals. After which, we went to Richard's place in Ealing. It was impressive how Richard did up the place. Looked like a home I'd expect to see in a decor magazine. We went out for an Indian dinner in the area and ended up staying over because it was too cold to go back home and plus it was late. Didn't really feel like risking it seeing as how crime in London is quite high.

Sunday met up with some uni friends / pwc ex-colleagues for dim sum. After which, went to the 2nd hand book market near home to buy 2 new novels, one of which The Incredible Lightness of Being, I'm quite excited about.

Ever since the tax exam, I've had an incredible urge to exercise my brain, maybe because I have gotten use to working it quite hard. I have been voraciously reading anything I can lay my hands on from the various daily free newspapers, to online newspapers, to novels and even to advertisements (which I usually block out) but I still feel restless. Books I have gotten through in the last couple of weeks were Norwegian Wood by Murakami and A piece of cake by cupcake brown. Unfortunately, neither were very fulfilling. I've decided I've had enough of Murakami and also drug addicts.

Nothing seems to pique my interests. I'm searching for a though provoking book. An unusual book. A book that invoked emotions like how Life of Pi or the Windup Bird Chronicle did but such books tend to be few and far between. Fingers crossed for the 2 I've bought.

Marty and I have watched 2 musicals in the last 2 days and he's looking to watch another musical matinee on Friday... It's quite exhausting. I'm BEAT! There was a lot of hype over Les Mis and it came heavily recommended from a few friends here but I must say I was not impressed. The music was unhappy almost all the time. I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised given the title but still it was depressing. Also, there were too many subplots and too many characters so it was hard to develop affection for any single one.

FAME i felt was way more entertaining with great dancing and occasional great vocals. Most importantly, it left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. Envying the performers their jobs which pay them to dance, sing, and act happy. Sounds like my dream job! We walked back after the musical, with a tune in our heads and a bounce in our steps. Even though the singing wasn't as good as Les Mis, the fact that we felt happy after the muscial was a sure sign the show was a success.

It's the Champions League match tomorrow night. We will probably be heading out to watch it at some pub. And then there's the potential dinner with Marty's friend on Thursday. UGH!!

I'm TIRED!

Marty and I went for stand up comedy tonight. They were giving out flyers at Leicester Square offering 2 for 1 for £7. What a bargain it seemed. I was however a little apprehensive as I imagined this seedy smoke-filled joint with amateurish comedians. Oh how I hate unfunny comedians!

I was partly right.

The part that I was wrong was that the decor of the place was quite nice. Marty and I got front row leather sofa seats which were extremely comfy. Also, the first comedian out of 4 was very very good. That however raised our expectations for the rest of the night which then fell short.

The bit which I was right about was 2nd hand cigarette smoke that permeated all around including any and every crevice. Ugh! I can't wait for the 1st of July where it will be officially smoke-free in night spots here. All my coats and jackets stink of smoke because here, people are allowed to smoke every where. Even restaurants!

Another bit that I was right about was the hit and miss nature of attending stand up comedy in a comedy club when you haven't heard half the names of the acts. The compere was finger nails against blackboard cringe worthy. One did not even feel sorry for him. You know how you sometimes feel sorry for unfunny people who seem like they are trying their best right? Well, for this guy, all you really wanted was for him to be dragged of the stage and shot.

And then there was this leprechaunish looking guy with a tiny voice. Poor him. Every single sentence that came out of his mouth was punctuated by fuck. At least his antics were amusing.

The worse thing was there were quite a few weirdos in the audience.

The first weirdo was a cake girl in the front row who insisted the comedians try here philosophical cake which may or may not exist depending on how you looked at it. Egad! How do comedians put up with weird shit like that from the audience. A hand gun would do nicely in this case I'd imagine. One clean shot between the eyes.

Another guy just would not shut up and kept trying to hackle each comedian. and no amount of eye rolling from any of the comedians or insults would stop him. Things got really awkward whenever he opened his mouth. we were really freaked out when he plonked himself in the sofa next to mine. There was a bit of tension then between him and the comedian and you know how some people seem quite capable of being pushed over the edge, well this guy definitely was one of those. I had this fear that he would just turn violent cos he did behave quite drunk. Now, mind you, this guy wasn't a beef cake jock. He was an old guy with a big toothy grin, quite short as well. Nothing to be worried about you'd think but because he had this psycho vibe, even though he was really quite puny, you could just see how things could very potentially turn quite quite ugly or embarrassing.

There was also this japanese/korean girl who piped up as well. Which would have been ok had she spoke coherent english. Alas, she didn't. Her comment threw the comedian who had no clue what she was trying to get across. Well, we were all bewildered. An awkward silence ensued for a brief moment as the comedian tried to make sense of what she said. Argh!! Awkard awkward awkward...

And as a grand finale, this girl whom might I add was wearing a bright red and black cocktail dress with bright red lipstick, a face of a tranny and sequin red heels (to a comedy club??!!) snatched the mike away from the compere as he was ushering out the audience after the show.

Overdressed tranny look-a-like: Hey! You forgot about me!

(at this time, all the audience still left behind stop their packing up and wondered if it was part of the show. myself included. The compere snatches the mike back from the crazy girl who has a wide smile plastered on her face)

Compere: Sorry guys, whatever she has said, the show is OVER. Goodnight!

By this time, the girl's grin goes a little lopsided as she tries to maintain her composure. Everyone realises it's just a crazy woman talking shit and continue to leave the room. The compere ignores said woman and the mike is turned off. 10 minutes later as Marty and I make our way out, the crazy girl is still standing in front of the mike explaining to a friend what it could have been.

Overall a really weird awkward night. Not a good introduction into the world of stand up comedy clubs. However, it was still nice to be able to have a night out with Marty. Something we rarely rarely ever do. Reminds me of my life in Singapore. Late nights, smokey clothes and talking shit!

I feel young again!

Had another good day with Marty.

We woke up at about 9 sunday morning but lazed around in bed for more than an hour surfing the net and reading before deciding to get up and make a breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, spinach, baked beans and buttered toasts which we ate on the tiny coffee table in front of the telly whilst watching an interview of some loser from the Labour Party wanting to contest Tony Blair's replacement Gordon Brown.

The interviewer was some razor sharp journalist and you'd think the contestant would have been pretty glib as well but it wasn't too long before it became apparant to the interviewer and very soon us as well that this guy just wasn't destined for greater things. Although his facial expression never changed to give away his nervousness, his answers were vague and made little sense. The interviewer upon realising what a loser this guy really was got so excited he almost leapt out of his seat as he shot out question after question. Towards the end of the interview, the contestant even made the statement that Gordon Brown was the best candidate for prime minister. What a laugh!

But that reminded me a bit of the ridiculous labour party ex-leader Kim Beazley whom Marty talks about sometimes. I don't keep up with Australian current affairs because the newspapers can be quite thrashy but my impression of Mr Beazley is, much like Bush, he is in the habit of making serious gaffs. Like for example, when one of Autralia's famous talk show hosts, Rove McManus' wife passed away, he issued a public statement offering his condolences to Karl Rove, a white house strategist. And I thought politicians had to have the gift of the gaff, oh i mean gab.

Anyway, what i then realised was that if all your political parties are shit, then even if you had like 10 to choose from then that wouldn't really be a choice anymore. For example, in Sydney, there's the 2 main parties, the Liberals and then you have Labour (yay beazley!) and then you have the democrats, the greenies (read: tree huggers) and other tiny parties.

and alot of people actually end up choosing the insignificant small parties because they can't bring themselves to choose either the labour, the liberals or the demorcrats! So where's the choice in that? It seems to me that one good party in that case would be much better than having many shit parties.

Anyway, the loser dude whom even the newspapers labelled the 'unknown person' pulled out the very next day. poor guy. his political career quite finished after this embarrassment.

Moving on, Marty and I went to the British museum after brunch and had a late lunch at a pub around the area there. It was a really nice english pub and the decor felt quite old and cosy. It had high tables and high chairs in dark wood, red carpets, low lights and a fantastic steak and mushroom pie served up with mushy peas and mash drenched in gravy. It was a cold and grey day out, perfect day to be hiding from the rain in a pub with hot comfort food. mmm...

Marty pointed out that day that I have adapted really well to London and I suppose that is true. For someone who hates the rain and the cold, the grey weather that's been lingering for the last week and the cold hasn't really fazed me much. Life still goes on when it rains and I am now quite indifferent to it. London seems to be mainly positive to me so far.

Plus, I feel really comfortable with the English. More than I can say for lots of Australians at work anyway. I mean, I've been in Sydney for more than 2 years but have not made any good friends at work. Marty reckons it could simply be the culture at PwC because everyone there seems really fake sometimes. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on networking in OZ. It's hard to explain it but there is a lot of subtle politics and elitism and sucking up to people with power.

For example, if a particular manager is seen as a high performer, then there appears to be a tendency for junior staff to clamour for his/her attention. Sucking up seems to be more blatant and acceptable than in Singapore or London. I think that's the main reason why I feel more comfortable in London. I don't feel a pressure to please people anymore than I would feel comfortable doing so anyway.

A couple of Aussie colleagues here have lamented how thy dislike London because people here seem cold and I guess compared to Sydney, but of course. They say English people are cynical and my response was 'Cynisim is great!'.

One example of how I think I'd get along so much better in England is the fact that I've made one good friend even though I've been here for such a short time. I mean, I've only worked with two audit teams here so far. Each for less than a week. But I've already made one good friend here with this girl Clare I've only just met yesterday. It seems we have so much to talk about even though we come from completely different backgrounds. She's only 23 but it doesn't feel like we have an age difference. Anyway, I invited her to have coffee with Marty and myself after work but was a little disappointed when Marty didn't appear to enthused about her although he denies that *narrows eyes*

Anyway, so far, i've only got positives to say about London, cept for maybe the level of crime, speaking of which, witnessed this guy being chased by a group of people and eventually being tackled by a group of bullet-proof vested police officers just outside starbucks below my apartment. :

Marty and I had a good dinner tonight. to celebrate our anniversary yesterday which I had forgotten. He met me yesterday with a bouquet of roses and had side-parted his hair. He hates his hair side-parted and I hate it centre-parted. Anyway, didn't notice his hairstyle ;P and he had to remind me all these were for our anniversary... awww... he's sweet!

So today, the day after our monthly anniversary, we decided to try out this gastro pub near my place. It was recommended by Clare who heard about it from a friend. We got to the pub but it looked too busy so we decided to try another restaurant in the vicinit and settled for a Spanish restaurant with a redecorated pub interior. It looked as if the restaurant was a converted English pub with orange walls and some spanish art work. Otherwise, there was a bar in the centre with tables all around it and high chairs. Along the walls, there were high tables and high chairs too. Probably leftover furniture from pub days. The food was good but not great but the ambience was good. The buzz of conversation all around made the restaurant feel alive but conversation was still possible without the need to shout and half way through dinner, a spanish guitarist got onto a tiny stage/platform and entertained the diners. The price was reasonable as well. Dinner cost us about £30 for 4 tapas dishes, 2 beers and a diet coke.

The weekend is coming soon. Hopefully the weather will turn a little better. There will be a jazz performance at the national art gallery this friday and hopefully will be able to go to that without braving the rain. assuming that it will be outdoors.

What we've been up to thus far...
Tate Modern ->


At the tate Modern... Look at the ample space. The Tate Modern from the outside is the most hideous looking building ever! Apparently it used to be a power station. It reminded me more of a prision but it sure was fun inside!













At the Borough Markets having a roast pork sandwich for lunch.
Brought Marty to Monmouth for proper coffee. Fang Fang recommended it but I think Marty and Aussie mates think the coffee is just ok... :
I mean, I can see why they'd think so... the standards in Australia are so much higher I suppose. I'm beginning to forget what good coffee tastes like :( Anyway, who should i see there but Singapore's very own steven lim serving up coffee at Monmouth. I was like OMIGOD when I hear this Singaporean accent describing the various coffees served at Monmouth. Instinctively turned my head to check out the fellow countryman and my jar dropped when I realised it was our local 'celebrity'/actor. I put celebrity in inverted commas because, as I tried to explain to Marty, Singaporeans do not idolise actors. Anyway, I insisted that Marty sneak a shot of him just so i can post his pic on my blog and tell the world he's serving coffee at the Borough. Far out!

The Fake Globe Theatre!! It's good enough for me knowing that the grounds used to hold the real Globe theatre. Somehow, a rebuilt version of the original isn't as appealing

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Went to the National Art Gallery with Marty Friday afternoon. Entrance to the national arts gallery is free and this gallery holds works of artists from between 1200s to 1700s.

A brochure available at the front desk will inform you of the various highlights exhibited at the gallery. One of which was a painting by Hans Holbein (German renaissance artist) - The Ambassadors - which was incredible.

Looking at the painting, you will realise that a skull is painted at the bottom of the painting using a technique known as anamorphosis, such that when viewed from the right, the skull now becomes less distorted. Give it a shot! It's cool!

Up close and personal, one has to admire how much skill it took for the artist to paint the furs on the fur coat, the mosaic tiles on the ground, the damask drapes, the inscriptions on the dagger, the details on the globes, all of which obviously isn't visible from the picture I have uploaded but take my word for it, it is amazing!

There were other fantastic artists as well but we didn't finish touring the art gallery. I've decided that the artists in the period of 1200 to 1500 were all talented but had little originality. They all painted the same religious themes and used similar techniques. In a way, it was a pity they were all housed in the same gallery because it negated their skills by emphasizing their lack of uniqueness. I meam, there's only so many different ways you will want to see how Jesus or Mary can be depicted in a painting. Plus the tone of the pictures were always sombre and sometimes even reprimanding.

By the time we were nearing the end of the 1200s to 1500s gallery and about to move on to the 1600s to 1800s, I was over it. It was too depressing. I decided to leave the rest of the art gallery to another day even though I think the paintings then would have been a lot more lighthearted what with Monet, Van gogh and Renior.

And then on Saturday, Marty and I went to the Tate Modern.

I have decided that even though i greatly admire the skills of the artists featured in the National Art Gallery, I still prefer modern art. Had so much more fun at the Tate Modern.

I saw my first Dali painting and was quite proud of myself for recognising his style even before reading the little description card at the side. And there weren't even any melting clocks!

Finally understand why Marcus was a great admirer of Dali. The picture books definitely do him no justice at all but I guess the same could be said for any other artist. After yesterday, he has found a fan in me.

Other interesting art we saw was a urinal titled Fountain by Marcel Duchamp whose idea it was to de-deify the artist. The original for this is now lost but Duchamp commissioned several reproductions of the same piece. Pierre Pinoncelli apparently attacked two of the copies with his own piece and claiming in his defense said Duchamp would have appreciated his performance art! Hah!

Will definitely be going back again soon!

I didn't realise it but I lost quite a bit of weight during the intensive exam study period. It wasn't until the day of the exam when I noticed my ribs sticking out. Not very attractive =P

The strange thing was I was having quite a number of meals a day. I'd feel hungry every 2.5 hours or so and could end up having ham and cheese sandwiches up to 5 times a day and instant noodles other times.

Anyway, now that Marty's here, meals have been more wholesome. I realise that when I'm just living myself, I'm not that fussed about food and am pretty contented rummaging for whatever food I can find in my sparse pantry. It just feels really pointless to be cooking up a banquet when there's just only going to be me enjoying it.

I guess that's why I have fallen sick AGAIN.

Seems that lately I'm always in a state of illness. Not fun at all. Migraines, cramps and the latest, FEVER. Migraines are pretty common for me but fever??!! The last time I had a fever was when I had chicken pox 2 years back.

The worse thing about being sick with Marty here is that everyone at work thinks I'm skivving BUT I'M NOT. I wish i was! At least I'd feel well enough to go out and have some fun. And now I even feel guilty for being sick and not turning up at work. NO FAIR!

I'm lousy at being sick. I think if ever I had a bad illness, one where there would be a lot of pain and discomfort, I'd much rather die. I have no fighting spirit whatsoever. In fact, just the last couple of days with the fever and all, the idea of dying did feel appealing at some points. Especially when I had little spasms going through my body cos I was sooo cold. brrr...

So glad Marty was here to take care of me. Otherwise I'd probably feel even more sorry for myself. Anyway, fingers crossed that tomorrow will be a better day. I wanna go to Borough markets for lunch!

Marty is here!!

I have been going about life here without him and having him here now, against the London backdrop seems a little surreal. It feels familiar (well obviously) but yet also not.

We almost didn't manage to catch each other at the tube station. I gave him specific instructions to meet me at the south bank exit but as luck would have it, the south bank exit was closed. There were two other exits at waterloo and I did a quick assessment of the situation and decided that the only other plausible exit would be the one nearer to the south bank seeing as how if that was shut, one would then logically go to the next nearest one right? Wrong!

I carefully calculated the time it would take to get from heathrow to waterloo - an hour, and when more than an hour had passed, I decided I had best head to the other exit just to be safe and check it out. Thankfully, spotted a mushroom head with a silver suitcase just about to disappear around the corner of the main road. I ran after dear marty arms and legs flailing and after the 5th attempt at yelling his name, he finally heard me.

It's good to see him. He seemed cuter than I remembered even with his mangy looking hair. =)

We went trawling through the city today, notting hill, portobello market, hyde park, high street kensington oxford street etc... poor boy was jetlagged but struggled to stay awake til 8pm after which he promptly feel asleep after dinner. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him.

I'm so excited. Marty will be here in just another 34 hours. I'm not sure what I'll do til then because i'm so full of anticipation but I do have a list of to-dos tomorrow. Pity the weather report on the news has indicated a very grey long weekend ahead and unlike the useless Sydney weathermen, the english weathermen have proven to be accurate.

Well, I guess it's going to be cuddling in bed for the both of us then.

I went to Borough Markets again today.

I don't think I could get sick of that place. well not for a very long while. It's so near to my office and there's a great coffee place there that serves excellent coffee. FINALLY! Coffee here is so shite!

Over dinner the other day, new found friend Fang Fang mentioned that Monmouth serves excellent coffee and the next day, after lunch with Xenia, we decided to have a coffee there. The coffees there are not served in your standard coffee cups. No siree... They are HUGE cups but not big enough to be un bol de cafe. They have huge fruit bowls filled with fine raw sugar and jars of open jam for you to have toasts with on a big communal table. It's all really rustic with a warm atmosphere. I just love cafes with character. However, at £2 a cup, it feels rather pricey, especially if you consider that you could get a pub dinner of musselfs for £7. Anyway, I have successfully weaned myself off flat whites (forced after a few horrible experiences) and can manage very well on just tea and instant coffee these days.

Back to Borough markets again. Went there with Jess from Sydney and Belinda from NZ. It should have been a lovely lunch had Belinda not tagged along. She gives me bad vibes. She seems nice but somehow, underneath her seemingly warm facade, I sense someone with little tolerance for others. It was not a good feeling. I would have enjoyed lunch more had I just gone alone :

There's so much food at Borough that it can be really hard to make a decision. We settled for a turkey cranberry bagette which we got from a tiny shop. I think one of the reasons why the Borough market experience is so good is the food just looks so inviting on a cold day like today. Oh to see the steam rising from the freshly cooked food. It's times like this I wish Marty was here to share it with.

I've planned out a whole host of possible activites to amuse us. Jazz clubs, free jazz performances at the national art gallery, picking up some food at borough market and then picnic at hyde park, musicals, shopping having dinner at a spanish restaurant, groccery shopping and making dinner together at home. YAY YAY YAY

I've packed my day full of activities tomorrow otherwise I know the day will pass really slowly in anticipation. I'm going to visit portobello market and then maybe knightsbridge, kensington high street and then earl's court for a wax ;) and to end it all, dinner with William and Aifeng

I've come into the office this evening to print out some papers for the exam tomorrow.

I've been working so so hard for this without knowing why. I know it's foolish but it's easier than making a choice.

It is a really beautiful evening tonight. It's 8:30 pm and the sun hasn't set yet. The sky had a yellowish hue and on my walk in, I saw through the spokes in the london eye, what I initially thought were thin streaks of clouds like brush strokes of paint but turned out to be the white smokey things that planes leave behind. It was a real pity I didn't have my camera with me.

It was probably in the mid-twenties but the wind, which somehow has a knack of chilling me to the bone irregardless of the temperature made it feel much colder. It was a nice refreshment for a change. Something to snap me out of my miserable tax-induced stupor.

Maybe I'm getting into one of my sappy moods but it was such a beautiful evening it actually made me feel a little sad. A little sad for myself but relieved that tomorrow will be the end of this, sad for Gillian when I thought about how hard she has been working and the problems she's had with Jez, sad for basically everyone stuck at pwc, working their lives away.

And to make it sappier still, this beautiful jazzy melody came wafting though the train tracks just next the the bridge. I've been curious about the source of the music for a while. I've heard it quite a few times and it always makes my evening. I had come to the conclusion that it was from a boat that happened to be always parked under the bridge but today, I realised it was actually from a busker who was on another bridge parallel to the Jubilee bridge and on the other side of the train tracks. The sound of the music almost brought a tear to me.

And as I was, crossing the Jubilee bridge, I had this epiphany. I realised that I've come full circle.

In 2003, I told Mom I'd give PwC a shot instead of moving to some remote place to save the world and I believe my efforts were definitely not half-hearted. And here I am, 4 years down the road and feeling the same kind of emotions as I did before.

It's uncanny.

But a good kind of uncanny.

It all seems to make a little more sense to me.

The thing about living away from home and by that, I mean Singapore, is that, be it being in Sydney or London, there are times when you're by yourself, especially when you're outside, when you just feel quiet. Internally. Because it feels as if the world is like this really big place and there you are, just a little speck. And then there are people around you going about their business, not paying you any attention. And then you just wonder, how the hell did I get here.

Maybe it sounds corny and maybe no one else feels it but me. But i'm pretty sure I have felt this a few times.

Sometimes it can be unsettling in a way. Especially when you're in a bad way where you are, bad relationship, bad work life, bad friends. This 'I'm so insignificant' sort of feeling could make such a person really miserable. But i guess tonight, it just made me think, wow, the world is a strange place and here I am, going about my business, taking little steps, just walking along and how the hell did I even get here, because if you really think about it, Singapore, to Sydney to London is quite an adventure.

Things can't be all that bad I've realised. Life's out there waiting for me to grab it by its horns and tomorrow, when the clock strikes 12:30, I'll be off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

Is he asian or wat?

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I just realised how ridiculous the cost of living can be here in London if you're not earning in pounds. I went down to the convenience store today to buy a litre of peach tea and 4 mini yogurts and that cost me £4 which would be equivablent to AUD $10.

YEeeeooucch!

I've been cooped up at home since saturday studying for this horrid exam. My moods are so up and down. Up when I finish a chapter I've set myself up to complete and down when I get tired and can't see the end of the tunnel.

This is really not a good way to live life and it makes me wonder why I'm even doing it. I guess the allure of money and the opportunity to work in london or NY is the main factor. But now, with the realisation that a week's worth of effort could get me a CPA in Singapore and a job in london, it seems even more pointless to make myself miserable.

I can't wait for the end of the exam.

The first thing I'm gonna do is buy a good book. I haven't read it yonks =(

Made a trip to borough market again today since i was in the office anyway and managed to take the promised photos. I'm no photographer and I don't think i did the market justice.
Anyway, check out the photos below... cheese, olives, brownies, bread etc!!!

Oh no!

I have quite decided that I hate my job. This trip to the UK was supposed to rejuvenate my motivation at work. A change is supposed to be as good as a holiday but why do I still drag my feet each day?

I have decided that audit can no longer teach me anything that I am keen to learn. Well at least the audit of insurance companies, funds and pension schemes. Enough!

But I can't leave this profession. Not before I get my certification and that isn't going to be for another year. So if there's nothing I can do about it then it makes no sense moping around thinking woe is me but that is obviously easier said than done. And then after that what? I'd like to do contract work and earn heaps of money with little responsibility.

I'm so tired of stress from work. I feel like a clown or a jester. Juggling, doing cartwheels and breaking my back whilst everyone just sits back and criticises. Well not everyone but I think the criticisms stick more than a praise.

I think contract work would be the ideal. To be rolling in dough without the effort, to be able to live a care-free life and having time to smell the roses.

--> We climbed all the way up 'Catbells', one of the numerous hills at lake district.

Nothing new has happened to me so far. Well, nothing that got me really excited...

Made a trip down to lake district on the weekend with 9 others in two cars. Lake district is a really lovely place. Very quaint. It would have been a great holiday had it not have been for the mad rush we were in half the time.

Now i just feel really exhausted and run down. This is no good. I need to do some serious studying and already I have started off on the wrong foot. I have decided that I shall be more selective of my travelling partners from now on.

After being dragged around half the country side, with my legs walked into a dull sort of ache, a result of hauling myself up a hill and at some points, going down on all fours and scaling the steep faces of the hill, someone suggested going to watch a play at the 'Theatre by the lake'. Mind you, this was immediately after our trek/climb and we were sticky and icky.

Now ordinarily, I might not have passed up a chance to act artsy fartsy especially when the play was 'Of mice and men', one of my favourite books as a kid. But really, after trekking for 3 hours, the only thing I really wanted to do was sit down somewhere and vege out. Not go to a play feeling sticky and stinky. AND, some of us had barely slept the night before. Fat chance of me staying awake. Thankfully, the theatre had only 5 tickets left and only the 5 in the other car could go. I did a silent hurray. We parted ways with the other 5 and Billy, Rachael, Christine, Yee chung and I headed into the town centre where we had a nice dinner just hanging out and bonding. Now that's what I call a holiday.

We barely made it back to the hostel at just past 10 and collapsed into our beds like flies.

However, the next morning, we were rudely awaken by a shrill voice demanding we get out of bed immediately. I really do not recall signing up for bootcamp. This was supposed to be an idyllic getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life!

Grrr....

And we almost were not allowed to stop off for breakfast!

Really not a great holiday at all. I'd much rather travel alone thank you very much

Went down to Borough market for lunch today with Ee Lin. I was really overwhelmed

Sydney's markets come no where close in comparison.

I'd read somewhere that Borough Market was a good place to find an assortment of delicious food but as my imagination wasn't good enough, I wasn't expecting to be impressed.

But impressed I was.

I think it will be hard for me to put into words the Borough experience. The colours, the smells, the, the sounds, the hustle and bustle.

From the outside, Borough looks far from inviting. It sits along Southwark Street and Borough High Street. Both roads are quite dirty and lined with grey unexciting buildings. The entrance of Borough is also under a bridge which casts a shadow on Borough that does no favours for the already greyish facade.

But stepping into the market area, you immediately forget the drab exterior. There is just no other way because all around you, there are stalls with a whole assortment of the same type of food. Everything screams out at you, 'Look at me! Look at us'. The stallholders need no hard selling. Their merchandise sell themselves.

In one stall, big bowls of olives stuffed with peppers, chili, anchovies, pitted olives, unpitted olives, kalamata olives, green olives.

In another stall, a mountain of coarse white french salt from a particular salt lake, another mound of red salt with blackish specks, green salt speckled with red and yellow and black, flavoured salt with everything you would probably need to spice up a dish.

And then another stall with a pyramid of brownies stacked 10 layers high with the bottom tray about a metre long, all cut up and ready to be served. The brownies have a shiny rough exterior reminding me of homemade brownies mom used to make. Yum. A similar banana cake pyramid sits beside the brownies. Loaves and loaves of bread follow from ciabatta, to a few varieties of focaccia, round loaves, long loaves and littler rolls.

I chanced upon a fish monger which could have easily given the fish market a run for its money with shrimp, yabbies, crabs, all sorts of fresh fish, octopi. It was so fascinating I stood there gaping for a while, trying to read the names of all the fish and seafood on sale. But ee lin was impatient to go on so we moved on to the butcher which had thick slabs of red meat on display. A suspicious looking form turned out to be wild rabbit and a darker version similar to that, hare. Quite a few stalls sold ostrich meat and eggs.

Even the fruit and vegetables look fresher than any I've seen in sydney. The oranges had a deep orange quality about them, like someone had mixed some vermillion in their colour. There were about 10 different types of mushrooms, with one particular variety that bruised a purplish shade, perhaps magic ones? =)

I could go on forever but moving on to our lunch.

Everyone in Borough wander around in the search for a meal that would most satisfy their palates. People in Borough do not settle for the quickest and most convenient food. Borough is not the place for that. McDonald's serves that purpose.

There are stalls serving up wraps with cous cous and freshly stir fried assorted vegetables, stalls selling ostrich burgers, bratwurst with salads and not just your ordinary bratwursts but bratwursts flavoured with herbs, chili and other what-have-yous. Stalls selling your regular burgers, stalls selling freshly made sandwiches.

We settle for a salted beef sandwich with tomato ciabatta and 3 different mustards. At the same stall, they were also selling freshly roasted pork and crackling sandwiches. The colours of the fresh out of the oven roasts were simply amazing... shades of orange and brown and the steam from the pork as they cut the roasts up. It's no wonder there was a long queue for that stall.

It was a real pity the camera batteries were flat. I'll have to go back again soon.

I think London has left a good impression on me so far

All thanks to christine, I have internet connection at home now. Whoopee!

It's great knowing these people here in the UK. Firstly, even though we haven't seen each other in ages or kept in regular contact, christine has made me feel very welcomed here.

Check out the picture of moo moo and me. Picked up Moo moo at Changi airport and was initially hesitant about getting anoher eeyore. Afterall, I already have 2 of em. So decided to have dinner first before deciding.

After dinner, Jo and I swung by the shop again and that was when I realised the other 2 eeyores had weird faces. Definitely not as cool as Moo Moo who had a nice smile and a confident ' I know I'm so cute' expression. That was when I decided he was a winner and I had to take him with me. The 12 bucks were definitely well spent.

Moo moo has been my bestest companion this entire trip. He was tucked snug under my chin as I slept throughout the plane ride. He's quite attention seeking and likes to muzzle butt me in the face. He also has a cute butt with a pink bow on his tail and a blue pin to keep his tail in place. Plus he has an awesome mohawk and ears that are always hidden by his big face. He loves being a baby and likes head banging to god knows what tune in his head. I'm so glad I have him here!

Finally! Internet connectivity!

I can't imagine life without it.

Got into london on the Sunday morning after a long flight throughout which I was mostly dead to the world. British Airways are SHITE but thank god my sleep deprived few days exhausted me so I got through the plane ride relatively unscathed. Had to change my seat because the reclining function wasn't working properly but otherwise, couldn't really give a fuck about the inflight movies (which were horrendous) or the food (which i skipped mostly).

I've always wondered about those long plane rides where you put two people who are relatively the same age next to one another. I think it was some movie or book where this airport check in person thought herself to be cupid, matchmaking unsuspecting air travellers via seat allocations. Anyway, I've always been "lucky" to be seated next to older folk... well actually, once on a trip back from Sydney, I was seated next to some islander young man whom I had a good chat with and ended up exchanging email addresses although that's where the story ended.

Anyway, getting to the point, I was seated next to a BBC (british born chinese) on this flight to London. He seemed to be a really nice guy but honestly, I could barely keep my eyes open and I really wanted him to just leave me alone. Thank god for the seat change.

At the baggage claim area, this guy suddenly pops out of nowhere and starts helping me out with my bags. It was 5ish in the morning and I was desperate for a coffee but he was in a rush to leave the airport and herded me towards the train. I would have been pretty happy to figure things out myself with a much needed coffee in hand!! BUT i was too polite to say so and allowed him to lead me away from starbucks and into the underground. *sob*

Anyway, he handed me his name card ( found out he's a fresh grad who just started work a couple of months back ie still a baby, but obviously, he tried to hide that fact. How typically male) which is still lying at the bottom of my bag, gathering dust.

I love my new life of solitude!

It's great having my own apartment space. I could if I wanted to, prance around naked from the bedroom to the living room to the kitchen to the hall to the toilet. But no, I have yet to try that. Mainly because I live on the second floor and the curtains are hardly drawn.

Everyone has been telling me that I'm living on prime real estate but I have yet to see it that way. I like my apartment and all but this area has nothing going for it other than the fact that I am moments away from the London eye, and Dali Universe. In fact, my bedroom window looks right into the Dali Universe. With a reasonable pair of binoculars, I could probably examine all the art works on display without paying the 9 pounds entrance fee!

I try to look on the positive side of things and tell myself that walking 35 minutes into the office is great exercise but I can't get over how bleak things are around me. No quaint restaurants or cafes. It's an attas (high society) area you see and everything looks cold and unwelcoming, unless you have money to burn which I obviously do not. Any ho, it's early days yet so maybe I will begin to see how wonderful this place is in time.

It's been a fantastic weekend or so they say. The weather in London has been good. A tad warm for me as I have been traipsing through the city and being quite scared of the cold, I cautiously brought out a thick cardigan and a woollen coat which I then hung around my skinny arms for most of the day out Monday. I'm so weak. Certainly dampened my shopping mood albeit just a tad.

Anyway, the sun was out in London but the city still looked grey. Perhaps largely due to the grey architecture. There are so many old buildings here. The city is quite filthy and some streets remind me of India with the rubbish piled up at the sides and the overpowering stink of piss. A few people have asked me if I like London. I'd say I'm pretty happy with my life here at the moment but then again, that's more because of the personal space I have here rather than the impression the city has left on me.

Londoners are definitely less friendly than australians. Few out of the many faces that stare back at me each day as we cross paths smile back at me. Perhaps two a day? Whereas in Sydney, it is common place to smile at people waiting together at the lift lobby, people who enter the lift, people sitting at the next table in the cafe etc. Such is the scarcity of a smile that when it happens, it feels all the more special.

Shopping on the other hand is fabulous!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Not sure who gave me the advice to shop at Oxford Street but good advice that was. I woke up on Sundy morning and bought a ticket and took the underground to Oxford circus. The underground is so easy to use. Sydney pales in comparison. But then again, a certain internet source purported that Sydney has one of the worst public transportation system in the world. They probably are only considering metropolitan cities but I'm glad someone agrees with me.

Anyway, I was greeted by a huge Selfridges store front the minute I stepped of the train. I couldn't contain my excitement and glee! If shopping signs could flash in my eyes they would! *kerching*

I couldn't contain my excitement but had to share it with Marty and Jolene so I made long distance phonecalls to both of them just to gush about the huge array of merchandise available. Imagine this, Mango took up four floors of shops and had different items on each floor and all only women's stuff. No cheating!

Topshop took up four floors with one floor for Topman.

Unbelievable! I need a gf here to go shopping with me!!! How can one live fulfilling shopping life if one does not have a gf to share it with?

But however tempting the urge was to just splurge, I exercised some self control and bought nothing at all. Before the UK bank account gets set up, I need to keep a tight rein on my outgoings.

It's been a hectic few days back home. Once again, I find the insomaniac in me and I think I may have found the cause. Potent teh (tea). Ever the teh ping (iced milk tea) fan, I've been loading up on the good stuff at every opportunity and I find myself able to go all night without sleep and into the next day without much difficulty. Last night was a fine example. I had tea at the Ritz with Joy and then after which, met up with Jason and had more tea. By the end of the night or should I say morning, when I got home at 6am, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed.

So this morning, since i had nothing better to do anyway, i started scouring websites on spas and facial packages available. Jason is getting married in May and in the process of helping him come up with a honeymoon, i came up with the bright idea of a spa getaway at one of those Banyan tree resort like places. And to convince the soon t0 be newly weds, what better way than to give them a couple day spa getaway to see if they like it. I'm not one of those girls who feel a need to periodically pamper themselves but on the occasions when I have done so, it has always been fantastic. I hope they like the present.

It's a real pity I won't be able to attend Jason's wedding. Jason is a good friend and it sucks not being able to share such a special day. It's times like this that make me think perhaps Sydney was a bad idea, but only briefly.

This trip home this time around has cemented further the certainty that I will not be coming back. Except on holidays of course. Aside from the fact that work in Sydney is so much better, I have realised that life here just doesn't agree with me in general. I think it has something to do with the weather, how claustrophobic it can get and also the urban landscape and definitely the neighbourhood I live in. I miss Bishan and I miss Glebe.

On a brighter note, jolene's problem seems to have a bit more clarity and I guess that makes me feel more at ease. I realise I am prone to paranoia and tend to extrapolate various outcomes from a given situation. I think that may be a large part of my downfall... this incessant worrying about nothing and everything but I guess I don't like surprises. Or I think I don't like surprises. So i second guess every possible move and then when it happens, that way i can go... there! I told you so to myself or whoever. Of course, sometimes it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy (but who knows). Anyway, I may have been negative about jo's situation initially but it doesn't seem half as bad now that everything has come to light. At least something is being done.

On an even happier note, I got a fantabulous dress as a bday present from Jo. A tube dress with a cloth rose near the bust. One of those great dresses that will never go out of style. Unfortunately, I have grown too skinny to fit into anything and the dress will have to be altered and as such, I will not get it til I come back after the UK stint. DARN!

Brief summary of stuff that has transpired:

Most received comment: it's a tie between "You lost weight (No... really?)" and "when are you getting hitched"

Most pleasant surprise: Bumping into Winston at wala's

Music I'm currently listening to: Phantom of the opera

Mood: TIRED!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/56168029@N00/

Birthday pictures!!

Marty was really good to organise the party and even went to the extent of baking a cake for me.

He's come a long way since the days of "let my girlfriend and her flat tyre rot for all I care"

Thank you for everything Marty poopy.... The camera is awesome

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You know how people get excited about a holiday and can't sleep the night before, how when they look forward to something that's a long way away, time slows to a crawl and the day seems so unbelievably far off and doesn't seem to draw any nearer, and how usually, the night before, they stay up all night the night before, wide awake with excitement?

Well... I didn't even feel a tinkly of anything which I think is either because I wasn't too enthused about coming home and going to the UK OR all my excitement cells have taken a holiday, perhaps trying to avoid the chemical abuse I have been putting myself through lately.

I actually suspect it's more of the latter.

It's been a long while since I've felt any enthusiasm for anything. Not to say that I'm unhappy, I am rather contented (except with work) but something seems to be missing. The only time I felt a remote tinkle of happiness was at my recent birthday and even then, the feeling dissipated pretty quickly.

My dopamine levels must be low...

I mean, reading past blog entries (circa 2005), one can see how different a person I am. I worry that I have become an apathetic lump of coal. Worry and apathy sounds like a contradiction but I miss my old self! and my logical side has come up with this explanation.

As such, I have decided to embark on a detox. If my diagnosis is true, hopefully this and my trip to the UK will sort me out.

A week or two ago, a friend of mine got propositioned by a married guy. She declared however, that she didn't do married men and never would, much to my relief. I mean, however unconventional society has gotten now, I myself would still like to believe in the sanctity of marriage. Especially since going out with Marty and realising that "nice guy" wasn't an oxymoron.

My relief was shortlived.

I don't want to sound like I'm stereotyping Singaporean men, I do acknowledge that decent nice Singaporean men exist (like some of the Singaporean boys in Sydney) but more often then not, Singaporean men are insipid jerks who are never satisfied with their lot.

Anyway, it's strange now being in Sydney and sheltered from the real world by Marty's goodness. It wasn't too long ago that my life was filled by horrible Singaporean men. I'm amazed I can forget how evil and horrible people can be but for now, I can't see how Marty could ever betray me and never even feel a shred of insecurity.

And so, what with my friend's life going slightly askew, I can't help but wonder what's going on in the minds of modern Singaporeans.

I remember not too long ago, when said friend and I were still in uni, a couple of married people around us started having affairs and getting divorced. I think I was going through an emo phase then and such news was definitely not chicken soup for the soul. I was jaded. Said friend was horrified too that her bosses at work were mucking around.

Seriously, which girl grew up having thoughts of leading a life filled with lies, affairs and subterfuge? I think my prince charming dreams were shattered then and we realised that it was something we should never be surprised at because that was what the real world was like.

So, many failed relationships later, however much of Marty's goodness rubs of me and no matter how I can't imagine him cheating on me, even if he did, it wouldn't be that big a blow compared to the first few betrayals. I guess, that's a fine example of jadedness.

But the point that I'm trying to make is not so much how I feel about someone cheating on me but more, what do you say to a friend when they tell you that they've gone and slept with a married man.

Tsk tsk?

Crucify them?

Be supportive like a good friend should? I personally have problems with helping friends down the road to perdition. But maybe, the degardation of societal mores will one day make affairs acceptable. Just like sexual equality and rock and roll. And MAYBE, it is now acceptable, back in Sunny Singapore. Who knows, I may just be out of touch! Ah the relief now washes over me. Suddenly everything makes sense again...... NOT!

Sigh

I'm going to talk about happy things although I don't feel very happy at the moment. In fact, that's the precised reason why I shall only talk about happy things today.

I'm more excited about going to the UK.

Christine sent me an email with my UK work schedule so now I can actually see my name on the London office work schedule. I'm slated to start on the 2 April. That probably isn't going to materialise as I have classes in Sydney on the 1st of April. But things are beginning to feel a whole lot more concrete and I know they want me!

Plus, just received news that there are a whole lot of us in the UK at the moment. Us being NTU graddies who started at PwC Singapore at the same time. In fact, around the period April - June this year, a good 25% of us will be there. How amazing is that?

I've also decided to take next week off. By hook or by crook. I need a break. Desperately.

So that is another plus to look forward to.

So there. My life is OK

another tough day at work for me again.

I've begun to suspect that I may just be really inept at what I do. Why else do I always find myself at the losing end of a tug of war battle, always getting shit from everyone else. Managers, staff, clients...

Today Gillian gave me shit about not getting enough staff on the job and not behaving like a senior and not getting the actuaries to review the actuarial notes. It's not like I haven't been trying to get people on the job. I've been sending emails, calling, sending messages. Wasting half my day coordinating junk like that which I could have put into more productive purposes otherwise. And, she forgot she told me she would sort out the actuarial notes. Sigh

Deadline's tomorrow.

I'm so over all this crap

The sight of financial statements make my skin crawl.

Lately I've been thinking about home quite a bit.

It's been ages since I've gone back proper. The last time was a 4 day 3 nighter in August to celebrate Dad's 60th. And the thing that I tell everyone is that, not going back home for a holiday is actually a good thing because it makes life here a whole lot more permanent.

The less I travel home, the more attached I am to the life here.

At least that's what I feel.

So it's really strange that having not been back home (well barring a pathetic weekend trip), I've suddenly been thinking about home alot.

And random images of Singapore flash through my mind at the oddest of times.

Like just now, I was lying in bed getting ready for sleep and suddenly, in my mind's eye I could see the shelves and shelves of books at borders and remember how it felt to be standing there, usually just browsing to past time before meeting someone else in that area. This image quickly turned into an image of the book cafe in mohd sultan, then little india with it's busy roads and bright colours and then Derrick's place. The last one isn't surprising. Some pretty awesome nights were spent there I must say. Makes me feel so nostalgic, these places feel like they are just minutes away.

Memories are funny things.

Was also chatting with Zhiying today. So much have changed in our lives and we have been half way across the world from each other for maybe 3-4 years now it's hard to keep up. Some people say that good friends will always remain good friends but if people can't even maintain long distance relationships in love, why should friendship be any different?

The worst thing about long distance friendships is that the deterioration is usually too subtle to even realise it has happened until of course the irreversal is done. I'm going to bring up an old cliche to illustrate this point. The only constant is change. People change. Some more so than others of course. Priorities change, sense of humour changes, interests change.

I feel I have changed. Quite dramatically. It's hard to say for the better or worse.

But honestly, at this stage, it's too late to get my knickers into a knot trying to figure out if this change is good or bad for me or whether my life will get better or worse because of it. It feels ok at present but my life does have a tendency to throw me a curve ball whenever I feel a sense of stability.

I guess I must be a pessimist because I always envision these curve balls, no matter how positive they always seem initially, end up with me, a spinster, old and miserable in a studio apartment all alone, withering away.

*shudder*

And London is potentially one of those curved balls.

almost famous / Ribs & rump

Just found out last week that we were almost famous.

We were out celebrating Ceez's birthday two fridays ago at the shelbourne and our picture got taken and posted on the shelbourne website. We were obviously the cool kids! Yay!

I refused to succumb to my asian calling even though my arm was most tempted to spring up into a "V". The guys made up for me though.

Everyone (cept my sober self) were so thrashed they had no recollection of this photo. Wahaha!

More pictures will be available soon when Ceez gets round to uploading the photos.

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Went out to Ribs & rump in Gordan last night. I had heard good things about it and was quite excited.

The ribs were quite good. Tasty and tender. Very YUMMY!! but the most impressive thing about it was the size of them. The full rack of ribs were larger than an A4 sheet of paper. WAH!! Took several pictures of the massive ribs and will upload them as soon as I get the pictures of Marty's phone.

I only ordered half a rack which looked pretty attemptable when it first arrived. I got through half of what was on my plate and was beginning to feel quite full and pondering if I should force myself to finish off the rest and I would have had I notflick the rack over and was shocked to find another smaller rack hiding beneath. It was then that I decided to just da bao it all home. It would just be impossible to finish anyway.

Luke was disgusted at my poor attempt at the ribs. hee hee

In my defence, I ate one whole potato as well.

One whole baby potato =)

My emotional state of mind feels like a roller coaster nowadays and it's so exhausting.

I guess it's partly genetic make up. In that way, I'm so much like my mom it terrifies me.

Why can't I be a jack-in-the-box, bouncing back after any setback.

I actually think this kind of "omigod i screwed up hence I'm such a screw-up and it's eating me up inside" attitude is very David but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

Even something like forgetting to respond to an email bothers the hell out of me.

I mean, granted I'm not the most organised person in the world, but at the same time, I have a trillion and one work related "to-dos" on my mind and keeping on top of things is no walk in the park so really, i shouldn't be to hard on myself if I forget one thing but I just find it impossible to let go which makes my life miserable.

My greatest fear is one day, I'll become a David.

How very awful.

And it's not only work.

I've just become this worry wart. I worry about everything from work, to what will become of my relationship if I go to the UK for 3 months (which is another story), to how much tax materials I have to bring for my tax exam in the UK and hence I will have less space for my numerous clothes bags and shoes and my potential overseas purchases.

And the worst thing is, it's sometimes even unconscious.

Make mental note to self - "Focus on positives"

Maybe swearing less will make me a more positive and happier person. I'll give that a shot! Happy people never swear. Obviously most people would think that happy people do not need to swear but then, maybe it's the swearing that make people unhappy.

^*&^(*&)(

what can I say?

My life has been pretty excellent this last week.

Firstly, the housemate Gareth has turned out to be a pretty OKAY dude. He joined me in the city for Ceez's birthday celebration but more on that later.

I have done jack all work for this week mainly because I have been in a sort of celebratory mood.

It actually started last week with me feeling absolutely bummed out about work. If ever there were any professions that invoked emotional instability, auditing would definitely be one of the top few. It's so tiring always trying to impress different people and feeling so out of control of most of the factors that impact on your performance. Add to that, everyone hates us.

So anyway, I've been in what some people might have called a trough if they wanted to understate how I felt. I consider rut a euphemism as well and would much rather call it being down in the doldrums.

This feeling of despondency and low self-esteem was a product of a really hard year of work in 2006 without any back patting "good job done" thank yous from the people above and an unexpected lull in work which has given me much more time to think and realise. DAMN. I HATE MY JOB!!

Finally, however hard I had tried internalising this, it started to show and the quality of my work started slipping. I sighed unconsciously all the time. Unable to hold it in any further, I fessed up to Gillian (my manager) that I'd lost my audit mojo who then advised that I speak to Voula (partner) and my mentor aka SDM - Damian.

It's astonishing how much of a difference a little complement can make. After the brainwashing from two partners who heaped loads of praises, audit suddenly didn't feel too bad. I felt inspired. I felt I could change the world with my audit procedures. I felt like... SUPER AUDITOR!!

NOT.

A half hour later, I was spotted moping around the office waiting for time to pass. As a saying in Hokkien goes, Pa Bang!

But at least, now I know where I stand at work. Gillian advised me to ask for the moon saying, "Mindy, the partners are willing to bend over backwards to help you out. You should demand for things. Get what you really want for once."

If only I knew what that was.

The secondment to the UK may sound really exciting but I think my main purpose is just an opportunity to rock the boat a little by changing my surroundings. It's really an opportunity to escape really. And if I don't get it, nothing would have changed because something tells me it's not so much the environment but the work.

But i guess, I'll just have to wait and see how things happen in the next few weeks.

Some somber news to share.

Last year, I met Chris whilst holidaying in Melbourne. He was such a sweet soul it was hard not to like him. Gentle, generous and with a slight sense of humour, he was easy to get along with and the few days we hung out with Jean and bobo, to Mount Dandenong, Mrs Marples to his favourite breakfast place, to bortsch, vodka and tears were enjoyable in a peaceful relaxing way.

Last year, Chris' cancer metastasized and he passed away peacefully in his sleep last Saturday.

which then makes me wonder about mortality. I know it's so cliche but isn't it always the case? and then when you think about death when you're not reminded by it, people think you are morbid and avoid talking to you.

One thing I've realised, most people unconsciously avoid talking about death. It's the epitome of a taboo subject. How morbid, to go around thinking of the hundred and one ways one could leave this world.

But then again, if there are scientists out there who invest their time studying wasps to the extent that we now know how a wasp can hijack a cockroach by injecting a chemical into its nervous system which then allows it to manipulate the cockroach feelers much like a joystick, allowing it to ride the cockroach like a horsey (and this is true or the internet is lying), then surely the contemplation of death should not be frowned upon because it sure as hell (no pun intended) appears to be more important.

I don't mean to sound like I'm poking fun at the topic of death.

I do feel sad.

Just that random thoughts in my head got the better of me I guess.

On a lighter note, it's great that Gene is here now. Haven't hung out really in two years almost? At first it seemed that perhaps this arrangement was a potential recipe for disaster (jolene suggested we would be tearing each others throats out or maybe she suggested I would be the one tearing?) but after the first few hiccups which were ironed out quickly, things seemed to have settled into a nice routine. I hope I haven't jinxed it by writing it out.

Marty poo (yes it's his new name) has a new playmate and so have I.

We found another housemate over the weekend. He's Gareth. English. Very stiff upper lip. To the point. Little sense of humour or at least our brand of humour. Very into sports I must say because he mentioned that if we were getting foxsports, he'd spend all his days at home glued to the telly. Gene suggested tweaking his upper lip when we get to know him better.

Interesting times ahead.

It's been a while since the last update.

Lots of things have been happening.

First, fell kind of sick and without realising, lost enough weight for everyone to start making comments about it which is good in a way because which girl doesn't want to be thinner? even tracy goes on diets!

Eugene has managed to get his room set up. More set up than mine anyway. He's going to be officially moving all his stuff in tomorrow morning.

It's been really hectic getting the house set up and finding a housemate. Really wish things could settle down into a bit more of a routine. Unfortunately, the housemate we decided on flew our kite with the excuse that he felt pressured to say yes to us. Bummer cos now we have to go through the whole hoohah again.

work has been kinda up and down.

Up because everyone at work has been really nice and encouraging but down because I feel miserable at work. Really unmotivated.

I have the best boyfriend in the world.

He's so great everyone who meets him loves him.

He's always cheerful and optimistic.

He's always good for a hug and a cuddle.

He's always game to meet up and hang out even though we see each other everyday and even meet up for lunch during the day.

And after all that, he's still not sick of me.

How good is that?

And I claim to be an auditor!

Oh i could so kill myself!

I bought the prettiest pastel pink stripey cotton fabric to sew covers for the $6 couch i purchased 2 weeks ago. the material is absolutely sweet. very laura ashley. I was sooo excited i decided to stay up last night to do it up. My first foray into sewing in 10 years.

I measured up the cushion cover carefully and even wrote down on a piece of paper what the precise measurements should be BUT I have no idea what possessed me and after cutting the fabric, i realised I ended up cutting the material 3 cm short.

shouldn't i be meticulous and organised to a fault?

let me assure you, 3cm is significant when you need a cushion to precisely fit a couch!

why couldn't i have cut it 3 cm too long.

why must the big guy up there do this to me??!!!

if i could, i would have kicked myself.

fortunately, i still had that teeny little bit of self control left in me, if not, i would probably have started a big tanty, kicking my heels into the floor and screaming. Instead, i had a slight whinge, and decided to work with whatever I had. I figured I could at least have a test run.

the cover is still in the making. half way there! yay! it probably wouldn't fit really well but heck! it's a feat in itself. soon, i'll be able to start my own little sweatshop upholstering sofas.

whoopppeee

slow buck here i come!

I'm so fickle minded I astonish even myself.

Just the other day, I felt I needed a change. The reality of what I really am hit me square in the jaw and it's unbelievable that it took me so long to realise that I AM AN AUDITOR.

Oh the horrors!!

How could I have allowed myself to spend the better years of my life cross referencing audit workpapers and checking the adds on financials statements, or even worse, how could I allow myself to become a punching bag for disgruntled clients.

But that was the other day.

Today feels different because I've almost completed a big job and the bosses appear happy so obviously it's a great relief to me and I feel like I can finally focus my energies on making my new place a home.

Also, on the way home the other day, Nab and especially Amy, who are both on my team, thanked me for helping them out during the last couple of weeks. It feels good knowing that I have become a good lead. The kind of person I wished lead me when I was wet behind the ears.

Not that these short-lived feelings of gratification would make huge impacts on my life decisions(Apathy still rules in that department. One can never fight apathy. It just is) but it has at least shelved the ennui temporarily and allows me to justify one more day of existence as a scummy auditor.

Even the word auditor makes my skin crawl. Shudder