what can I say?

My life has been pretty excellent this last week.

Firstly, the housemate Gareth has turned out to be a pretty OKAY dude. He joined me in the city for Ceez's birthday celebration but more on that later.

I have done jack all work for this week mainly because I have been in a sort of celebratory mood.

It actually started last week with me feeling absolutely bummed out about work. If ever there were any professions that invoked emotional instability, auditing would definitely be one of the top few. It's so tiring always trying to impress different people and feeling so out of control of most of the factors that impact on your performance. Add to that, everyone hates us.

So anyway, I've been in what some people might have called a trough if they wanted to understate how I felt. I consider rut a euphemism as well and would much rather call it being down in the doldrums.

This feeling of despondency and low self-esteem was a product of a really hard year of work in 2006 without any back patting "good job done" thank yous from the people above and an unexpected lull in work which has given me much more time to think and realise. DAMN. I HATE MY JOB!!

Finally, however hard I had tried internalising this, it started to show and the quality of my work started slipping. I sighed unconsciously all the time. Unable to hold it in any further, I fessed up to Gillian (my manager) that I'd lost my audit mojo who then advised that I speak to Voula (partner) and my mentor aka SDM - Damian.

It's astonishing how much of a difference a little complement can make. After the brainwashing from two partners who heaped loads of praises, audit suddenly didn't feel too bad. I felt inspired. I felt I could change the world with my audit procedures. I felt like... SUPER AUDITOR!!

NOT.

A half hour later, I was spotted moping around the office waiting for time to pass. As a saying in Hokkien goes, Pa Bang!

But at least, now I know where I stand at work. Gillian advised me to ask for the moon saying, "Mindy, the partners are willing to bend over backwards to help you out. You should demand for things. Get what you really want for once."

If only I knew what that was.

The secondment to the UK may sound really exciting but I think my main purpose is just an opportunity to rock the boat a little by changing my surroundings. It's really an opportunity to escape really. And if I don't get it, nothing would have changed because something tells me it's not so much the environment but the work.

But i guess, I'll just have to wait and see how things happen in the next few weeks.