Chia Pets petting zoo.....

Seeing triple

2009-01-13T23:42:00.000-08:00

I must be on a roll. My 2nd post within an hour.

Either Robert Downey Jr has an extremely common face or I'm really bad with faces. I have seen 2 movies this month where I could have sworn that Robert Downey Jr was in but both times, I was wrong and it turned out to be two completely different actors. Talk about weird.

Check this out...

In Vicky Christina Barcelona, presenting... Javier Bardem

In PS I love you, presenting Jeffrey Dean Morgan
And.... *drum roll* presenting the real Mccoy.... Robert Downey Jr

New year resolution?

2009-01-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

No job = lots of time = lots of movies that i can watch

The other day, Marty and I passed the VideoEzy store which is sort of near our place. Sort of near implying that a 10 minute walk is necessary. Something that I am not terribly excited about.

VideoEzy had this special offer which allowed us to pay 20 bucks and enjoy unlimited movies for the first month. That is great news for a jobless bum like myself so of course we took them up on the offer.

So i am a woman on a mission now. To watch as many movies as I can in this one month. I'm such a cheapskate.

To date, I have done Hancock (lamest Will Smith movie I have seen), The Bank Job (not too shabby), As Good As It Gets (I love Jack Nicholson), You Don't Mess With The Zohan (Exactly what you would expect), American Beauty (comme si comme ca)

And the latest one, PS I Love you... such a tear jerker which surprises me that hilary swank barely sheds two tears throughout the whole movie and that makes me wonder about her acting abilities. I mean, there I am, shedding buckets and this lady who has recently lost a husband she is meant to be crazily in love with remains as dry as the sahara desert??

I suppose her terrific looking wardrobe, shoe closet and amazing apartment could be good reason for her cheerfulness. Hell! That would definitely cheer me up I know.

anyway I am starting a list of my movies. Lists are good. I would like to be a person who's life revolves around lists. There is something comforting about lists. They bring about order in a rather chaotic world. Unfortunately, I am really bad at organisation and my lists are always short lived BUT I believe that it is possible to change, being the delusional that I am. I am going to endeavor to be a list person from now on. Put the xmas moleskin that I got from Marty to good use.

hmm maybe lists should be my new year resolution.....

ooh... a list of new year resolutions....

KAZBAH breckie, saturday morning...

2007-10-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

Breakfast tagine

Marty's feta potato cake with smoked salmon and cream
Bloody mary's to start the day

Ceez undecided about what to order
i'm sleepy

Marty's bday

2007-07-27T03:49:00.000-07:00

2007-07-25T01:43:00.000-07:00

Lately, the backyard has been bombarded by possums' shit. We now have two possums lurking around on the trees late at night.

Possums are cute and cuddly but only when they live in someone elses roof.

We were walking back home after dinner the other night when I saw a possum dashing across the road and onto a tree. I gleefully ran up towards the tree all excited. Meanwhile, the possum heard footsteps and decided, unsuccessfully to hide behind the tree, thinking that if it kept still, we wouldn't be able to see it. How clever!

I frantically peeled a mandarin (which I happened to have on hand) and offered it to the possum who was meanwhile trying to devise an escape route. The tree it had picked was quite short and isolated from any nearby fauna... keke... TRAPPED! Unrelentlessly, I cooed and clucked at the terrified possum. Think Elmira! Muahaha

It was sooo cute!

But a few days after that, we have now decided to wage a war on our resident possums. We just simply cannot tolerate the green poop that is now littered all around our backyard!

However, a quick check on google has informed us that possums are protected. Possums can only be prevented from entering into your roof cavity but it is illegal to trap and relocate them. Studies have shown that 90% of relocated possums die within days of relocation to a foreign environment.

What I don't get is how does sealing the entrance to their home make it a more humane solution? Wouldn't they die if they didn't have shelter anyway?

Maybe we should get a massive cat....

2007-07-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

There's a nasty malingering cough/flu bug going around Sydney and all my attempts to stave it off have failed. So much for vitamin pills and mandarins.

It's my first day of work tomorrow but it's very likely now that I will have to take a day off.

This is the millionth time I've fallen sick this year...

boo hoo hoo

I love shoes

2007-07-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

Yay new shoes on my first day back in Sydney

2007-06-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

It's good to be back in Singapore and knowing that I'll have a week to catch up with people and shop and go for a wax, make new glasses, etc

The last day in london was an absolute nightmare. I am no longer looking forward to going back there. Not wanting to go into too much details, all I would say is that service in London is SHITE! and the thing is, there's nothing much you can do about it. The companies don't care about customer satisfaction at all!

Anyway, I shan't dwell.

I went down to wala's as expected to catch the Unxpected =)

Shirlyn's vocals never cease to amaze me and everyone else in the band seems to have gotten even better. I don't know how you can improve on perfection but they have definitely done it. Not sure about the bassist though. Asri wasn't there. But Rene seemed more smooth on the guitar and each of brandon's drum beats seemed more distinct.

Tomorrow will be family day. Lunch with grandma, parents, brother and sister-in-law and then dinner with Jean and Joy. YAY

Everyone's been saying I'm even thinner than before leaving for London. I have avoided the dreaded heathrow injection. Thank God!! Hopefully I will not kena the Changi injection what with all the dinner dates lined up.

2007-06-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a while =)

Went to Paris a two weekends ago. Moo Moo and wuggles have been such globe trotters.

Paris was lovely save for the fact that many parisans could not speak English.

Somehow, I don't remember it being so difficult in India. It seemed more Indians speak English.

Anyway, we were all prepared to encounter rude parisians after Richard's warnings but was pleasantly surprised that most of the people we met were quite helpful and friendly. Maybe it was because we were two chinesey girls and where possible, we did turn on our helpless innocent charms. Heh

True to my mission to have croissants and coffee in a quaint cafe along the Parisian streets, our first stop once we got there was to hunt down a famous croissant bakery recommended by an article that I nicked off the net. We had so much bread in the two days we were there! Two croissants, two pain au chocolat, one mini snail, one mini pain au chocolat, one seeded bagatte, two palmier, 4 brioche buns and all these in just 2 days!!!

Sydney rant part I

2007-06-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to post a blog entry for the last couple of weeks but they always end up as half written entries saved up in my virtual blackhole of an internet diary, unfinished and hence unpublished.

Will be heading off to paris tomorrow night on a coach. I love road trips because there's a certain excitement to it. You just don't get the same buzz from taking a plane.

Felt quite sad yesterday because over lunch, a comment made by a new partner from Sydney went like this... 'Oh, their command of English must be quite poor and that's why they lack the confidence to speak up'.

This was made in reference to a meeting in which pakistani managers had hardly voiced their opinions. (Might I add that there were English present at the meeting as well but this remark was not directed at them!)

Anyway, another Aussie replied, 'well in that case they shouldn't even have been promoted!'

That was a real slap in the face. The English, like the Asians, tend to be more reserved but when the English are quiet, they call it aloof. When it's an Asian, it's bad English. Fucking ignoramuses.

It seems to me that the impression of Australians here is that they are loud, bawdy and brash.

It's ironic because I think a lot of senior PwC people in Sydney think that Asian people tend to be tactless and have poor PR skills.

It is also ironic that there exists a strong sense of camaraderie within the Sydney firm so much so that sometimes it feels as if criticising anything no matter how insignificant would be tantamount to blasphamy. Not really what you'd expect from loud, bawdy and brash people.

It suddenly occured to me, that the reason for this contradiction was simply narrow-mindedness.

An 'if you're not like us you're crap' mentality.

So there I was sitting down for a 2 hour lunch surrounded by these moaning and groaning aussies lamenting on how horrible london could be. *yawn*

I couldn't help but smile when an aussie moaned about how inefficient the English are at sorting out administrative matters. Coming from Singapore, I found Sydney a bureaucratic nightmare. I think it helped living in Sydney before coming to London. My bank here has screwed me over a few times but somehow, that does bother me. Afterall, I had my fair share of banking nightmares in Sydney. These Aussies have probably used the same bank account since they were 12 and it's been too long since they've tried setting up a new one in Sydney.

2007-05-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Marty has gone home.

I hate goodbyes. Makes me so very very sad...

I know it's not going to be long before I go back and after a few days i'll be used to my life of a swinging 'bachelorette' sort of but still, saying goodbye was so hard.

On a brighter note, I'll be going to Bristol for work tomorrow night and putting up at the Marriot there. WooHoo! Phil's going to bring me around and show me the sights or at least I hope he will. Pity it's only going to be a night.

Hopefully will be able to get tickets for a weekend getaway in Paris. Am thinking of going back early after work ends here. I feel like Spain and Italy can wait until Marty is here to travel with me.

2007-05-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

Thursday night met up with K, marty's cousin and neilson who are here on a holiday. I'm so inspired to move to London now.

We met K's friends Rashmi and some other guys who are from Perth and it appears that earning £500 a day is the norm here. OH~MI~GAWD!!

These guys have been working for a month and travelling for 3. No real responsibilities. That's what I call living it up. Now to convince Marty to come here asap.

In other new, Marty bought us tickets to avenue Q last night. It was the best musical we have seen so far! Check out samples of the music :)

http://www.avenueqthemusical.co.uk/the-show/audio-clips.php

The cast included muppet characters and real people. Who would have imagined that muppets and people on stage together would work but it did! The first few minutes were a little weird as I was unsure if I should focus on the muppets or the puppeteers. But after a while, you just get the hang of it and pretty soon, it felt like the most natural thing to have a muppet with and human/actor body. Seeing is believing anyway.

I arrived a couple of minutes late and was furious at the bitch at work who made me late but after a few minutes into the show, I had laughed my troubles away. My the interlude my foul mood had dissipated!

With funny songs like 'Everyone's a little bit racist', 'The internet is for porn' and 'If you were gay', it was hard to stay upset. Definitely a must see!

After the theatre, we had dinner with Rich and Anna at a french restaurant recommended by Anna. It had excellent food and we were seated in the basement of the restaurant which felt like a cellar. It was very cramped but cosy and all the waiters were french.

We had so much food - fresh baguette with pats of butter, pate, spicy calamari for starters, fish stew for the girls, steak for richard, coquelet for marty and for desert, we had les fromage (3 cheese platter with baguette, creme brulee and un pot chocolat which literally was a cup of chocolate with two cookies. What decadence!

2007-05-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic few days!

Over the weekend, Marty and I went to a pub to catch the boring FA cup finals. After which, we went to Richard's place in Ealing. It was impressive how Richard did up the place. Looked like a home I'd expect to see in a decor magazine. We went out for an Indian dinner in the area and ended up staying over because it was too cold to go back home and plus it was late. Didn't really feel like risking it seeing as how crime in London is quite high.

Sunday met up with some uni friends / pwc ex-colleagues for dim sum. After which, went to the 2nd hand book market near home to buy 2 new novels, one of which The Incredible Lightness of Being, I'm quite excited about.

Ever since the tax exam, I've had an incredible urge to exercise my brain, maybe because I have gotten use to working it quite hard. I have been voraciously reading anything I can lay my hands on from the various daily free newspapers, to online newspapers, to novels and even to advertisements (which I usually block out) but I still feel restless. Books I have gotten through in the last couple of weeks were Norwegian Wood by Murakami and A piece of cake by cupcake brown. Unfortunately, neither were very fulfilling. I've decided I've had enough of Murakami and also drug addicts.

Nothing seems to pique my interests. I'm searching for a though provoking book. An unusual book. A book that invoked emotions like how Life of Pi or the Windup Bird Chronicle did but such books tend to be few and far between. Fingers crossed for the 2 I've bought.

Marty and I have watched 2 musicals in the last 2 days and he's looking to watch another musical matinee on Friday... It's quite exhausting. I'm BEAT! There was a lot of hype over Les Mis and it came heavily recommended from a few friends here but I must say I was not impressed. The music was unhappy almost all the time. I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised given the title but still it was depressing. Also, there were too many subplots and too many characters so it was hard to develop affection for any single one.

FAME i felt was way more entertaining with great dancing and occasional great vocals. Most importantly, it left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. Envying the performers their jobs which pay them to dance, sing, and act happy. Sounds like my dream job! We walked back after the musical, with a tune in our heads and a bounce in our steps. Even though the singing wasn't as good as Les Mis, the fact that we felt happy after the muscial was a sure sign the show was a success.

It's the Champions League match tomorrow night. We will probably be heading out to watch it at some pub. And then there's the potential dinner with Marty's friend on Thursday. UGH!!

I'm TIRED!

2007-05-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

Marty and I went for stand up comedy tonight. They were giving out flyers at Leicester Square offering 2 for 1 for £7. What a bargain it seemed. I was however a little apprehensive as I imagined this seedy smoke-filled joint with amateurish comedians. Oh how I hate unfunny comedians!

I was partly right.

The part that I was wrong was that the decor of the place was quite nice. Marty and I got front row leather sofa seats which were extremely comfy. Also, the first comedian out of 4 was very very good. That however raised our expectations for the rest of the night which then fell short.

The bit which I was right about was 2nd hand cigarette smoke that permeated all around including any and every crevice. Ugh! I can't wait for the 1st of July where it will be officially smoke-free in night spots here. All my coats and jackets stink of smoke because here, people are allowed to smoke every where. Even restaurants!

Another bit that I was right about was the hit and miss nature of attending stand up comedy in a comedy club when you haven't heard half the names of the acts. The compere was finger nails against blackboard cringe worthy. One did not even feel sorry for him. You know how you sometimes feel sorry for unfunny people who seem like they are trying their best right? Well, for this guy, all you really wanted was for him to be dragged of the stage and shot.

And then there was this leprechaunish looking guy with a tiny voice. Poor him. Every single sentence that came out of his mouth was punctuated by fuck. At least his antics were amusing.

The worse thing was there were quite a few weirdos in the audience.

The first weirdo was a cake girl in the front row who insisted the comedians try here philosophical cake which may or may not exist depending on how you looked at it. Egad! How do comedians put up with weird shit like that from the audience. A hand gun would do nicely in this case I'd imagine. One clean shot between the eyes.

Another guy just would not shut up and kept trying to hackle each comedian. and no amount of eye rolling from any of the comedians or insults would stop him. Things got really awkward whenever he opened his mouth. we were really freaked out when he plonked himself in the sofa next to mine. There was a bit of tension then between him and the comedian and you know how some people seem quite capable of being pushed over the edge, well this guy definitely was one of those. I had this fear that he would just turn violent cos he did behave quite drunk. Now, mind you, this guy wasn't a beef cake jock. He was an old guy with a big toothy grin, quite short as well. Nothing to be worried about you'd think but because he had this psycho vibe, even though he was really quite puny, you could just see how things could very potentially turn quite quite ugly or embarrassing.

There was also this japanese/korean girl who piped up as well. Which would have been ok had she spoke coherent english. Alas, she didn't. Her comment threw the comedian who had no clue what she was trying to get across. Well, we were all bewildered. An awkward silence ensued for a brief moment as the comedian tried to make sense of what she said. Argh!! Awkard awkward awkward...

And as a grand finale, this girl whom might I add was wearing a bright red and black cocktail dress with bright red lipstick, a face of a tranny and sequin red heels (to a comedy club??!!) snatched the mike away from the compere as he was ushering out the audience after the show.

Overdressed tranny look-a-like: Hey! You forgot about me!

(at this time, all the audience still left behind stop their packing up and wondered if it was part of the show. myself included. The compere snatches the mike back from the crazy girl who has a wide smile plastered on her face)

Compere: Sorry guys, whatever she has said, the show is OVER. Goodnight!

By this time, the girl's grin goes a little lopsided as she tries to maintain her composure. Everyone realises it's just a crazy woman talking shit and continue to leave the room. The compere ignores said woman and the mike is turned off. 10 minutes later as Marty and I make our way out, the crazy girl is still standing in front of the mike explaining to a friend what it could have been.

Overall a really weird awkward night. Not a good introduction into the world of stand up comedy clubs. However, it was still nice to be able to have a night out with Marty. Something we rarely rarely ever do. Reminds me of my life in Singapore. Late nights, smokey clothes and talking shit!

I feel young again!

2007-05-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

Had another good day with Marty.

We woke up at about 9 sunday morning but lazed around in bed for more than an hour surfing the net and reading before deciding to get up and make a breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, spinach, baked beans and buttered toasts which we ate on the tiny coffee table in front of the telly whilst watching an interview of some loser from the Labour Party wanting to contest Tony Blair's replacement Gordon Brown.

The interviewer was some razor sharp journalist and you'd think the contestant would have been pretty glib as well but it wasn't too long before it became apparant to the interviewer and very soon us as well that this guy just wasn't destined for greater things. Although his facial expression never changed to give away his nervousness, his answers were vague and made little sense. The interviewer upon realising what a loser this guy really was got so excited he almost leapt out of his seat as he shot out question after question. Towards the end of the interview, the contestant even made the statement that Gordon Brown was the best candidate for prime minister. What a laugh!

But that reminded me a bit of the ridiculous labour party ex-leader Kim Beazley whom Marty talks about sometimes. I don't keep up with Australian current affairs because the newspapers can be quite thrashy but my impression of Mr Beazley is, much like Bush, he is in the habit of making serious gaffs. Like for example, when one of Autralia's famous talk show hosts, Rove McManus' wife passed away, he issued a public statement offering his condolences to Karl Rove, a white house strategist. And I thought politicians had to have the gift of the gaff, oh i mean gab.

Anyway, what i then realised was that if all your political parties are shit, then even if you had like 10 to choose from then that wouldn't really be a choice anymore. For example, in Sydney, there's the 2 main parties, the Liberals and then you have Labour (yay beazley!) and then you have the democrats, the greenies (read: tree huggers) and other tiny parties.

and alot of people actually end up choosing the insignificant small parties because they can't bring themselves to choose either the labour, the liberals or the demorcrats! So where's the choice in that? It seems to me that one good party in that case would be much better than having many shit parties.

Anyway, the loser dude whom even the newspapers labelled the 'unknown person' pulled out the very next day. poor guy. his political career quite finished after this embarrassment.

Moving on, Marty and I went to the British museum after brunch and had a late lunch at a pub around the area there. It was a really nice english pub and the decor felt quite old and cosy. It had high tables and high chairs in dark wood, red carpets, low lights and a fantastic steak and mushroom pie served up with mushy peas and mash drenched in gravy. It was a cold and grey day out, perfect day to be hiding from the rain in a pub with hot comfort food. mmm...

Marty pointed out that day that I have adapted really well to London and I suppose that is true. For someone who hates the rain and the cold, the grey weather that's been lingering for the last week and the cold hasn't really fazed me much. Life still goes on when it rains and I am now quite indifferent to it. London seems to be mainly positive to me so far.

Plus, I feel really comfortable with the English. More than I can say for lots of Australians at work anyway. I mean, I've been in Sydney for more than 2 years but have not made any good friends at work. Marty reckons it could simply be the culture at PwC because everyone there seems really fake sometimes. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on networking in OZ. It's hard to explain it but there is a lot of subtle politics and elitism and sucking up to people with power.

For example, if a particular manager is seen as a high performer, then there appears to be a tendency for junior staff to clamour for his/her attention. Sucking up seems to be more blatant and acceptable than in Singapore or London. I think that's the main reason why I feel more comfortable in London. I don't feel a pressure to please people anymore than I would feel comfortable doing so anyway.

A couple of Aussie colleagues here have lamented how thy dislike London because people here seem cold and I guess compared to Sydney, but of course. They say English people are cynical and my response was 'Cynisim is great!'.

One example of how I think I'd get along so much better in England is the fact that I've made one good friend even though I've been here for such a short time. I mean, I've only worked with two audit teams here so far. Each for less than a week. But I've already made one good friend here with this girl Clare I've only just met yesterday. It seems we have so much to talk about even though we come from completely different backgrounds. She's only 23 but it doesn't feel like we have an age difference. Anyway, I invited her to have coffee with Marty and myself after work but was a little disappointed when Marty didn't appear to enthused about her although he denies that *narrows eyes*

Anyway, so far, i've only got positives to say about London, cept for maybe the level of crime, speaking of which, witnessed this guy being chased by a group of people and eventually being tackled by a group of bullet-proof vested police officers just outside starbucks below my apartment. :

Marty and I had a good dinner tonight. to celebrate our anniversary yesterday which I had forgotten. He met me yesterday with a bouquet of roses and had side-parted his hair. He hates his hair side-parted and I hate it centre-parted. Anyway, didn't notice his hairstyle ;P and he had to remind me all these were for our anniversary... awww... he's sweet!

So today, the day after our monthly anniversary, we decided to try out this gastro pub near my place. It was recommended by Clare who heard about it from a friend. We got to the pub but it looked too busy so we decided to try another restaurant in the vicinit and settled for a Spanish restaurant with a redecorated pub interior. It looked as if the restaurant was a converted English pub with orange walls and some spanish art work. Otherwise, there was a bar in the centre with tables all around it and high chairs. Along the walls, there were high tables and high chairs too. Probably leftover furniture from pub days. The food was good but not great but the ambience was good. The buzz of conversation all around made the restaurant feel alive but conversation was still possible without the need to shout and half way through dinner, a spanish guitarist got onto a tiny stage/platform and entertained the diners. The price was reasonable as well. Dinner cost us about £30 for 4 tapas dishes, 2 beers and a diet coke.

The weekend is coming soon. Hopefully the weather will turn a little better. There will be a jazz performance at the national art gallery this friday and hopefully will be able to go to that without braving the rain. assuming that it will be outdoors.

2007-05-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

What we've been up to thus far...
Tate Modern ->

At the tate Modern... Look at the ample space. The Tate Modern from the outside is the most hideous looking building ever! Apparently it used to be a power station. It reminded me more of a prision but it sure was fun inside!

At the Borough Markets having a roast pork sandwich for lunch.
Brought Marty to Monmouth for proper coffee. Fang Fang recommended it but I think Marty and Aussie mates think the coffee is just ok... :
I mean, I can see why they'd think so... the standards in Australia are so much higher I suppose. I'm beginning to forget what good coffee tastes like :( Anyway, who should i see there but Singapore's very own steven lim serving up coffee at Monmouth. I was like OMIGOD when I hear this Singaporean accent describing the various coffees served at Monmouth. Instinctively turned my head to check out the fellow countryman and my jar dropped when I realised it was our local 'celebrity'/actor. I put celebrity in inverted commas because, as I tried to explain to Marty, Singaporeans do not idolise actors. Anyway, I insisted that Marty sneak a shot of him just so i can post his pic on my blog and tell the world he's serving coffee at the Borough. Far out!

The Fake Globe Theatre!! It's good enough for me knowing that the grounds used to hold the real Globe theatre. Somehow, a rebuilt version of the original isn't as appealing

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Went to the National Art Gallery with Marty Friday afternoon. Entrance to the national arts gallery is free and this gallery holds works of artists from between 1200s to 1700s.

A brochure available at the front desk will inform you of the various highlights exhibited at the gallery. One of which was a painting by Hans Holbein (German renaissance artist) - The Ambassadors - which was incredible.

Looking at the painting, you will realise that a skull is painted at the bottom of the painting using a technique known as anamorphosis, such that when viewed from the right, the skull now becomes less distorted. Give it a shot! It's cool!

Up close and personal, one has to admire how much skill it took for the artist to paint the furs on the fur coat, the mosaic tiles on the ground, the damask drapes, the inscriptions on the dagger, the details on the globes, all of which obviously isn't visible from the picture I have uploaded but take my word for it, it is amazing!

There were other fantastic artists as well but we didn't finish touring the art gallery. I've decided that the artists in the period of 1200 to 1500 were all talented but had little originality. They all painted the same religious themes and used similar techniques. In a way, it was a pity they were all housed in the same gallery because it negated their skills by emphasizing their lack of uniqueness. I meam, there's only so many different ways you will want to see how Jesus or Mary can be depicted in a painting. Plus the tone of the pictures were always sombre and sometimes even reprimanding.

By the time we were nearing the end of the 1200s to 1500s gallery and about to move on to the 1600s to 1800s, I was over it. It was too depressing. I decided to leave the rest of the art gallery to another day even though I think the paintings then would have been a lot more lighthearted what with Monet, Van gogh and Renior.

And then on Saturday, Marty and I went to the Tate Modern.

I have decided that even though i greatly admire the skills of the artists featured in the National Art Gallery, I still prefer modern art. Had so much more fun at the Tate Modern.

I saw my first Dali painting and was quite proud of myself for recognising his style even before reading the little description card at the side. And there weren't even any melting clocks!

Finally understand why Marcus was a great admirer of Dali. The picture books definitely do him no justice at all but I guess the same could be said for any other artist. After yesterday, he has found a fan in me.

Other interesting art we saw was a urinal titled Fountain by Marcel Duchamp whose idea it was to de-deify the artist. The original for this is now lost but Duchamp commissioned several reproductions of the same piece. Pierre Pinoncelli apparently attacked two of the copies with his own piece and claiming in his defense said Duchamp would have appreciated his performance art! Hah!

Will definitely be going back again soon!

2007-05-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

I didn't realise it but I lost quite a bit of weight during the intensive exam study period. It wasn't until the day of the exam when I noticed my ribs sticking out. Not very attractive =P

The strange thing was I was having quite a number of meals a day. I'd feel hungry every 2.5 hours or so and could end up having ham and cheese sandwiches up to 5 times a day and instant noodles other times.

Anyway, now that Marty's here, meals have been more wholesome. I realise that when I'm just living myself, I'm not that fussed about food and am pretty contented rummaging for whatever food I can find in my sparse pantry. It just feels really pointless to be cooking up a banquet when there's just only going to be me enjoying it.

I guess that's why I have fallen sick AGAIN.

Seems that lately I'm always in a state of illness. Not fun at all. Migraines, cramps and the latest, FEVER. Migraines are pretty common for me but fever??!! The last time I had a fever was when I had chicken pox 2 years back.

The worse thing about being sick with Marty here is that everyone at work thinks I'm skivving BUT I'M NOT. I wish i was! At least I'd feel well enough to go out and have some fun. And now I even feel guilty for being sick and not turning up at work. NO FAIR!

I'm lousy at being sick. I think if ever I had a bad illness, one where there would be a lot of pain and discomfort, I'd much rather die. I have no fighting spirit whatsoever. In fact, just the last couple of days with the fever and all, the idea of dying did feel appealing at some points. Especially when I had little spasms going through my body cos I was sooo cold. brrr...

So glad Marty was here to take care of me. Otherwise I'd probably feel even more sorry for myself. Anyway, fingers crossed that tomorrow will be a better day. I wanna go to Borough markets for lunch!

2007-05-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

Marty is here!!

I have been going about life here without him and having him here now, against the London backdrop seems a little surreal. It feels familiar (well obviously) but yet also not.

We almost didn't manage to catch each other at the tube station. I gave him specific instructions to meet me at the south bank exit but as luck would have it, the south bank exit was closed. There were two other exits at waterloo and I did a quick assessment of the situation and decided that the only other plausible exit would be the one nearer to the south bank seeing as how if that was shut, one would then logically go to the next nearest one right? Wrong!

I carefully calculated the time it would take to get from heathrow to waterloo - an hour, and when more than an hour had passed, I decided I had best head to the other exit just to be safe and check it out. Thankfully, spotted a mushroom head with a silver suitcase just about to disappear around the corner of the main road. I ran after dear marty arms and legs flailing and after the 5th attempt at yelling his name, he finally heard me.

It's good to see him. He seemed cuter than I remembered even with his mangy looking hair. =)

We went trawling through the city today, notting hill, portobello market, hyde park, high street kensington oxford street etc... poor boy was jetlagged but struggled to stay awake til 8pm after which he promptly feel asleep after dinner. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him.

2007-05-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited. Marty will be here in just another 34 hours. I'm not sure what I'll do til then because i'm so full of anticipation but I do have a list of to-dos tomorrow. Pity the weather report on the news has indicated a very grey long weekend ahead and unlike the useless Sydney weathermen, the english weathermen have proven to be accurate.

Well, I guess it's going to be cuddling in bed for the both of us then.

I went to Borough Markets again today.

I don't think I could get sick of that place. well not for a very long while. It's so near to my office and there's a great coffee place there that serves excellent coffee. FINALLY! Coffee here is so shite!

Over dinner the other day, new found friend Fang Fang mentioned that Monmouth serves excellent coffee and the next day, after lunch with Xenia, we decided to have a coffee there. The coffees there are not served in your standard coffee cups. No siree... They are HUGE cups but not big enough to be un bol de cafe. They have huge fruit bowls filled with fine raw sugar and jars of open jam for you to have toasts with on a big communal table. It's all really rustic with a warm atmosphere. I just love cafes with character. However, at £2 a cup, it feels rather pricey, especially if you consider that you could get a pub dinner of musselfs for £7. Anyway, I have successfully weaned myself off flat whites (forced after a few horrible experiences) and can manage very well on just tea and instant coffee these days.

Back to Borough markets again. Went there with Jess from Sydney and Belinda from NZ. It should have been a lovely lunch had Belinda not tagged along. She gives me bad vibes. She seems nice but somehow, underneath her seemingly warm facade, I sense someone with little tolerance for others. It was not a good feeling. I would have enjoyed lunch more had I just gone alone :

There's so much food at Borough that it can be really hard to make a decision. We settled for a turkey cranberry bagette which we got from a tiny shop. I think one of the reasons why the Borough market experience is so good is the food just looks so inviting on a cold day like today. Oh to see the steam rising from the freshly cooked food. It's times like this I wish Marty was here to share it with.

I've planned out a whole host of possible activites to amuse us. Jazz clubs, free jazz performances at the national art gallery, picking up some food at borough market and then picnic at hyde park, musicals, shopping having dinner at a spanish restaurant, groccery shopping and making dinner together at home. YAY YAY YAY

I've packed my day full of activities tomorrow otherwise I know the day will pass really slowly in anticipation. I'm going to visit portobello market and then maybe knightsbridge, kensington high street and then earl's court for a wax ;) and to end it all, dinner with William and Aifeng

2007-04-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

I've come into the office this evening to print out some papers for the exam tomorrow.

I've been working so so hard for this without knowing why. I know it's foolish but it's easier than making a choice.

It is a really beautiful evening tonight. It's 8:30 pm and the sun hasn't set yet. The sky had a yellowish hue and on my walk in, I saw through the spokes in the london eye, what I initially thought were thin streaks of clouds like brush strokes of paint but turned out to be the white smokey things that planes leave behind. It was a real pity I didn't have my camera with me.

It was probably in the mid-twenties but the wind, which somehow has a knack of chilling me to the bone irregardless of the temperature made it feel much colder. It was a nice refreshment for a change. Something to snap me out of my miserable tax-induced stupor.

Maybe I'm getting into one of my sappy moods but it was such a beautiful evening it actually made me feel a little sad. A little sad for myself but relieved that tomorrow will be the end of this, sad for Gillian when I thought about how hard she has been working and the problems she's had with Jez, sad for basically everyone stuck at pwc, working their lives away.

And to make it sappier still, this beautiful jazzy melody came wafting though the train tracks just next the the bridge. I've been curious about the source of the music for a while. I've heard it quite a few times and it always makes my evening. I had come to the conclusion that it was from a boat that happened to be always parked under the bridge but today, I realised it was actually from a busker who was on another bridge parallel to the Jubilee bridge and on the other side of the train tracks. The sound of the music almost brought a tear to me.

And as I was, crossing the Jubilee bridge, I had this epiphany. I realised that I've come full circle.

In 2003, I told Mom I'd give PwC a shot instead of moving to some remote place to save the world and I believe my efforts were definitely not half-hearted. And here I am, 4 years down the road and feeling the same kind of emotions as I did before.

It's uncanny.

But a good kind of uncanny.

It all seems to make a little more sense to me.

The thing about living away from home and by that, I mean Singapore, is that, be it being in Sydney or London, there are times when you're by yourself, especially when you're outside, when you just feel quiet. Internally. Because it feels as if the world is like this really big place and there you are, just a little speck. And then there are people around you going about their business, not paying you any attention. And then you just wonder, how the hell did I get here.

Maybe it sounds corny and maybe no one else feels it but me. But i'm pretty sure I have felt this a few times.

Sometimes it can be unsettling in a way. Especially when you're in a bad way where you are, bad relationship, bad work life, bad friends. This 'I'm so insignificant' sort of feeling could make such a person really miserable. But i guess tonight, it just made me think, wow, the world is a strange place and here I am, going about my business, taking little steps, just walking along and how the hell did I even get here, because if you really think about it, Singapore, to Sydney to London is quite an adventure.

Things can't be all that bad I've realised. Life's out there waiting for me to grab it by its horns and tomorrow, when the clock strikes 12:30, I'll be off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz

2007-04-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

Is he asian or wat?

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I just realised how ridiculous the cost of living can be here in London if you're not earning in pounds. I went down to the convenience store today to buy a litre of peach tea and 4 mini yogurts and that cost me £4 which would be equivablent to AUD $10.

YEeeeooucch!

I've been cooped up at home since saturday studying for this horrid exam. My moods are so up and down. Up when I finish a chapter I've set myself up to complete and down when I get tired and can't see the end of the tunnel.

This is really not a good way to live life and it makes me wonder why I'm even doing it. I guess the allure of money and the opportunity to work in london or NY is the main factor. But now, with the realisation that a week's worth of effort could get me a CPA in Singapore and a job in london, it seems even more pointless to make myself miserable.

I can't wait for the end of the exam.

The first thing I'm gonna do is buy a good book. I haven't read it yonks =(

2007-04-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

Made a trip to borough market again today since i was in the office anyway and managed to take the promised photos. I'm no photographer and I don't think i did the market justice.
Anyway, check out the photos below... cheese, olives, brownies, bread etc!!!

2007-04-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Oh no!

I have quite decided that I hate my job. This trip to the UK was supposed to rejuvenate my motivation at work. A change is supposed to be as good as a holiday but why do I still drag my feet each day?

I have decided that audit can no longer teach me anything that I am keen to learn. Well at least the audit of insurance companies, funds and pension schemes. Enough!

But I can't leave this profession. Not before I get my certification and that isn't going to be for another year. So if there's nothing I can do about it then it makes no sense moping around thinking woe is me but that is obviously easier said than done. And then after that what? I'd like to do contract work and earn heaps of money with little responsibility.

I'm so tired of stress from work. I feel like a clown or a jester. Juggling, doing cartwheels and breaking my back whilst everyone just sits back and criticises. Well not everyone but I think the criticisms stick more than a praise.

I think contract work would be the ideal. To be rolling in dough without the effort, to be able to live a care-free life and having time to smell the roses.

2007-04-16T01:58:00.000-07:00

--> We climbed all the way up 'Catbells', one of the numerous hills at lake district.

Nothing new has happened to me so far. Well, nothing that got me really excited...

Made a trip down to lake district on the weekend with 9 others in two cars. Lake district is a really lovely place. Very quaint. It would have been a great holiday had it not have been for the mad rush we were in half the time.

Now i just feel really exhausted and run down. This is no good. I need to do some serious studying and already I have started off on the wrong foot. I have decided that I shall be more selective of my travelling partners from now on.

After being dragged around half the country side, with my legs walked into a dull sort of ache, a result of hauling myself up a hill and at some points, going down on all fours and scaling the steep faces of the hill, someone suggested going to watch a play at the 'Theatre by the lake'. Mind you, this was immediately after our trek/climb and we were sticky and icky.

Now ordinarily, I might not have passed up a chance to act artsy fartsy especially when the play was 'Of mice and men', one of my favourite books as a kid. But really, after trekking for 3 hours, the only thing I really wanted to do was sit down somewhere and vege out. Not go to a play feeling sticky and stinky. AND, some of us had barely slept the night before. Fat chance of me staying awake. Thankfully, the theatre had only 5 tickets left and only the 5 in the other car could go. I did a silent hurray. We parted ways with the other 5 and Billy, Rachael, Christine, Yee chung and I headed into the town centre where we had a nice dinner just hanging out and bonding. Now that's what I call a holiday.

We barely made it back to the hostel at just past 10 and collapsed into our beds like flies.

However, the next morning, we were rudely awaken by a shrill voice demanding we get out of bed immediately. I really do not recall signing up for bootcamp. This was supposed to be an idyllic getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life!

Grrr....

And we almost were not allowed to stop off for breakfast!

Really not a great holiday at all. I'd much rather travel alone thank you very much

2007-04-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

Went down to Borough market for lunch today with Ee Lin. I was really overwhelmed

Sydney's markets come no where close in comparison.

I'd read somewhere that Borough Market was a good place to find an assortment of delicious food but as my imagination wasn't good enough, I wasn't expecting to be impressed.

But impressed I was.

I think it will be hard for me to put into words the Borough experience. The colours, the smells, the, the sounds, the hustle and bustle.

From the outside, Borough looks far from inviting. It sits along Southwark Street and Borough High Street. Both roads are quite dirty and lined with grey unexciting buildings. The entrance of Borough is also under a bridge which casts a shadow on Borough that does no favours for the already greyish facade.

But stepping into the market area, you immediately forget the drab exterior. There is just no other way because all around you, there are stalls with a whole assortment of the same type of food. Everything screams out at you, 'Look at me! Look at us'. The stallholders need no hard selling. Their merchandise sell themselves.

In one stall, big bowls of olives stuffed with peppers, chili, anchovies, pitted olives, unpitted olives, kalamata olives, green olives.

In another stall, a mountain of coarse white french salt from a particular salt lake, another mound of red salt with blackish specks, green salt speckled with red and yellow and black, flavoured salt with everything you would probably need to spice up a dish.

And then another stall with a pyramid of brownies stacked 10 layers high with the bottom tray about a metre long, all cut up and ready to be served. The brownies have a shiny rough exterior reminding me of homemade brownies mom used to make. Yum. A similar banana cake pyramid sits beside the brownies. Loaves and loaves of bread follow from ciabatta, to a few varieties of focaccia, round loaves, long loaves and littler rolls.

I chanced upon a fish monger which could have easily given the fish market a run for its money with shrimp, yabbies, crabs, all sorts of fresh fish, octopi. It was so fascinating I stood there gaping for a while, trying to read the names of all the fish and seafood on sale. But ee lin was impatient to go on so we moved on to the butcher which had thick slabs of red meat on display. A suspicious looking form turned out to be wild rabbit and a darker version similar to that, hare. Quite a few stalls sold ostrich meat and eggs.

Even the fruit and vegetables look fresher than any I've seen in sydney. The oranges had a deep orange quality about them, like someone had mixed some vermillion in their colour. There were about 10 different types of mushrooms, with one particular variety that bruised a purplish shade, perhaps magic ones? =)

I could go on forever but moving on to our lunch.

Everyone in Borough wander around in the search for a meal that would most satisfy their palates. People in Borough do not settle for the quickest and most convenient food. Borough is not the place for that. McDonald's serves that purpose.

There are stalls serving up wraps with cous cous and freshly stir fried assorted vegetables, stalls selling ostrich burgers, bratwurst with salads and not just your ordinary bratwursts but bratwursts flavoured with herbs, chili and other what-have-yous. Stalls selling your regular burgers, stalls selling freshly made sandwiches.

We settle for a salted beef sandwich with tomato ciabatta and 3 different mustards. At the same stall, they were also selling freshly roasted pork and crackling sandwiches. The colours of the fresh out of the oven roasts were simply amazing... shades of orange and brown and the steam from the pork as they cut the roasts up. It's no wonder there was a long queue for that stall.

It was a real pity the camera batteries were flat. I'll have to go back again soon.

I think London has left a good impression on me so far

2007-04-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

All thanks to christine, I have internet connection at home now. Whoopee!

It's great knowing these people here in the UK. Firstly, even though we haven't seen each other in ages or kept in regular contact, christine has made me feel very welcomed here.

Check out the picture of moo moo and me. Picked up Moo moo at Changi airport and was initially hesitant about getting anoher eeyore. Afterall, I already have 2 of em. So decided to have dinner first before deciding.

After dinner, Jo and I swung by the shop again and that was when I realised the other 2 eeyores had weird faces. Definitely not as cool as Moo Moo who had a nice smile and a confident ' I know I'm so cute' expression. That was when I decided he was a winner and I had to take him with me. The 12 bucks were definitely well spent.

Moo moo has been my bestest companion this entire trip. He was tucked snug under my chin as I slept throughout the plane ride. He's quite attention seeking and likes to muzzle butt me in the face. He also has a cute butt with a pink bow on his tail and a blue pin to keep his tail in place. Plus he has an awesome mohawk and ears that are always hidden by his big face. He loves being a baby and likes head banging to god knows what tune in his head. I'm so glad I have him here!

2007-04-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

Finally! Internet connectivity!

I can't imagine life without it.

Got into london on the Sunday morning after a long flight throughout which I was mostly dead to the world. British Airways are SHITE but thank god my sleep deprived few days exhausted me so I got through the plane ride relatively unscathed. Had to change my seat because the reclining function wasn't working properly but otherwise, couldn't really give a fuck about the inflight movies (which were horrendous) or the food (which i skipped mostly).

I've always wondered about those long plane rides where you put two people who are relatively the same age next to one another. I think it was some movie or book where this airport check in person thought herself to be cupid, matchmaking unsuspecting air travellers via seat allocations. Anyway, I've always been "lucky" to be seated next to older folk... well actually, once on a trip back from Sydney, I was seated next to some islander young man whom I had a good chat with and ended up exchanging email addresses although that's where the story ended.

Anyway, getting to the point, I was seated next to a BBC (british born chinese) on this flight to London. He seemed to be a really nice guy but honestly, I could barely keep my eyes open and I really wanted him to just leave me alone. Thank god for the seat change.

At the baggage claim area, this guy suddenly pops out of nowhere and starts helping me out with my bags. It was 5ish in the morning and I was desperate for a coffee but he was in a rush to leave the airport and herded me towards the train. I would have been pretty happy to figure things out myself with a much needed coffee in hand!! BUT i was too polite to say so and allowed him to lead me away from starbucks and into the underground. *sob*

Anyway, he handed me his name card ( found out he's a fresh grad who just started work a couple of months back ie still a baby, but obviously, he tried to hide that fact. How typically male) which is still lying at the bottom of my bag, gathering dust.

I love my new life of solitude!

It's great having my own apartment space. I could if I wanted to, prance around naked from the bedroom to the living room to the kitchen to the hall to the toilet. But no, I have yet to try that. Mainly because I live on the second floor and the curtains are hardly drawn.

Everyone has been telling me that I'm living on prime real estate but I have yet to see it that way. I like my apartment and all but this area has nothing going for it other than the fact that I am moments away from the London eye, and Dali Universe. In fact, my bedroom window looks right into the Dali Universe. With a reasonable pair of binoculars, I could probably examine all the art works on display without paying the 9 pounds entrance fee!

I try to look on the positive side of things and tell myself that walking 35 minutes into the office is great exercise but I can't get over how bleak things are around me. No quaint restaurants or cafes. It's an attas (high society) area you see and everything looks cold and unwelcoming, unless you have money to burn which I obviously do not. Any ho, it's early days yet so maybe I will begin to see how wonderful this place is in time.

It's been a fantastic weekend or so they say. The weather in London has been good. A tad warm for me as I have been traipsing through the city and being quite scared of the cold, I cautiously brought out a thick cardigan and a woollen coat which I then hung around my skinny arms for most of the day out Monday. I'm so weak. Certainly dampened my shopping mood albeit just a tad.

Anyway, the sun was out in London but the city still looked grey. Perhaps largely due to the grey architecture. There are so many old buildings here. The city is quite filthy and some streets remind me of India with the rubbish piled up at the sides and the overpowering stink of piss. A few people have asked me if I like London. I'd say I'm pretty happy with my life here at the moment but then again, that's more because of the personal space I have here rather than the impression the city has left on me.

Londoners are definitely less friendly than australians. Few out of the many faces that stare back at me each day as we cross paths smile back at me. Perhaps two a day? Whereas in Sydney, it is common place to smile at people waiting together at the lift lobby, people who enter the lift, people sitting at the next table in the cafe etc. Such is the scarcity of a smile that when it happens, it feels all the more special.

Shopping on the other hand is fabulous!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Not sure who gave me the advice to shop at Oxford Street but good advice that was. I woke up on Sundy morning and bought a ticket and took the underground to Oxford circus. The underground is so easy to use. Sydney pales in comparison. But then again, a certain internet source purported that Sydney has one of the worst public transportation system in the world. They probably are only considering metropolitan cities but I'm glad someone agrees with me.

Anyway, I was greeted by a huge Selfridges store front the minute I stepped of the train. I couldn't contain my excitement and glee! If shopping signs could flash in my eyes they would! *kerching*

I couldn't contain my excitement but had to share it with Marty and Jolene so I made long distance phonecalls to both of them just to gush about the huge array of merchandise available. Imagine this, Mango took up four floors of shops and had different items on each floor and all only women's stuff. No cheating!

Topshop took up four floors with one floor for Topman.

Unbelievable! I need a gf here to go shopping with me!!! How can one live fulfilling shopping life if one does not have a gf to share it with?

But however tempting the urge was to just splurge, I exercised some self control and bought nothing at all. Before the UK bank account gets set up, I need to keep a tight rein on my outgoings.

2007-04-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic few days back home. Once again, I find the insomaniac in me and I think I may have found the cause. Potent teh (tea). Ever the teh ping (iced milk tea) fan, I've been loading up on the good stuff at every opportunity and I find myself able to go all night without sleep and into the next day without much difficulty. Last night was a fine example. I had tea at the Ritz with Joy and then after which, met up with Jason and had more tea. By the end of the night or should I say morning, when I got home at 6am, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed.

So this morning, since i had nothing better to do anyway, i started scouring websites on spas and facial packages available. Jason is getting married in May and in the process of helping him come up with a honeymoon, i came up with the bright idea of a spa getaway at one of those Banyan tree resort like places. And to convince the soon t0 be newly weds, what better way than to give them a couple day spa getaway to see if they like it. I'm not one of those girls who feel a need to periodically pamper themselves but on the occasions when I have done so, it has always been fantastic. I hope they like the present.

It's a real pity I won't be able to attend Jason's wedding. Jason is a good friend and it sucks not being able to share such a special day. It's times like this that make me think perhaps Sydney was a bad idea, but only briefly.

This trip home this time around has cemented further the certainty that I will not be coming back. Except on holidays of course. Aside from the fact that work in Sydney is so much better, I have realised that life here just doesn't agree with me in general. I think it has something to do with the weather, how claustrophobic it can get and also the urban landscape and definitely the neighbourhood I live in. I miss Bishan and I miss Glebe.

On a brighter note, jolene's problem seems to have a bit more clarity and I guess that makes me feel more at ease. I realise I am prone to paranoia and tend to extrapolate various outcomes from a given situation. I think that may be a large part of my downfall... this incessant worrying about nothing and everything but I guess I don't like surprises. Or I think I don't like surprises. So i second guess every possible move and then when it happens, that way i can go... there! I told you so to myself or whoever. Of course, sometimes it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy (but who knows). Anyway, I may have been negative about jo's situation initially but it doesn't seem half as bad now that everything has come to light. At least something is being done.

On an even happier note, I got a fantabulous dress as a bday present from Jo. A tube dress with a cloth rose near the bust. One of those great dresses that will never go out of style. Unfortunately, I have grown too skinny to fit into anything and the dress will have to be altered and as such, I will not get it til I come back after the UK stint. DARN!

Brief summary of stuff that has transpired:

Most received comment: it's a tie between "You lost weight (No... really?)" and "when are you getting hitched"

Most pleasant surprise: Bumping into Winston at wala's

Music I'm currently listening to: Phantom of the opera

Mood: TIRED!

2007-04-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/56168029@N00/

Birthday pictures!!

Marty was really good to organise the party and even went to the extent of baking a cake for me.

He's come a long way since the days of "let my girlfriend and her flat tyre rot for all I care"

Thank you for everything Marty poopy.... The camera is awesome

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You know how people get excited about a holiday and can't sleep the night before, how when they look forward to something that's a long way away, time slows to a crawl and the day seems so unbelievably far off and doesn't seem to draw any nearer, and how usually, the night before, they stay up all night the night before, wide awake with excitement?

Well... I didn't even feel a tinkly of anything which I think is either because I wasn't too enthused about coming home and going to the UK OR all my excitement cells have taken a holiday, perhaps trying to avoid the chemical abuse I have been putting myself through lately.

I actually suspect it's more of the latter.

It's been a long while since I've felt any enthusiasm for anything. Not to say that I'm unhappy, I am rather contented (except with work) but something seems to be missing. The only time I felt a remote tinkle of happiness was at my recent birthday and even then, the feeling dissipated pretty quickly.

My dopamine levels must be low...

I mean, reading past blog entries (circa 2005), one can see how different a person I am. I worry that I have become an apathetic lump of coal. Worry and apathy sounds like a contradiction but I miss my old self! and my logical side has come up with this explanation.

As such, I have decided to embark on a detox. If my diagnosis is true, hopefully this and my trip to the UK will sort me out.

2007-03-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

A week or two ago, a friend of mine got propositioned by a married guy. She declared however, that she didn't do married men and never would, much to my relief. I mean, however unconventional society has gotten now, I myself would still like to believe in the sanctity of marriage. Especially since going out with Marty and realising that "nice guy" wasn't an oxymoron.

My relief was shortlived.

I don't want to sound like I'm stereotyping Singaporean men, I do acknowledge that decent nice Singaporean men exist (like some of the Singaporean boys in Sydney) but more often then not, Singaporean men are insipid jerks who are never satisfied with their lot.

Anyway, it's strange now being in Sydney and sheltered from the real world by Marty's goodness. It wasn't too long ago that my life was filled by horrible Singaporean men. I'm amazed I can forget how evil and horrible people can be but for now, I can't see how Marty could ever betray me and never even feel a shred of insecurity.

And so, what with my friend's life going slightly askew, I can't help but wonder what's going on in the minds of modern Singaporeans.

I remember not too long ago, when said friend and I were still in uni, a couple of married people around us started having affairs and getting divorced. I think I was going through an emo phase then and such news was definitely not chicken soup for the soul. I was jaded. Said friend was horrified too that her bosses at work were mucking around.

Seriously, which girl grew up having thoughts of leading a life filled with lies, affairs and subterfuge? I think my prince charming dreams were shattered then and we realised that it was something we should never be surprised at because that was what the real world was like.

So, many failed relationships later, however much of Marty's goodness rubs of me and no matter how I can't imagine him cheating on me, even if he did, it wouldn't be that big a blow compared to the first few betrayals. I guess, that's a fine example of jadedness.

But the point that I'm trying to make is not so much how I feel about someone cheating on me but more, what do you say to a friend when they tell you that they've gone and slept with a married man.

Tsk tsk?

Crucify them?

Be supportive like a good friend should? I personally have problems with helping friends down the road to perdition. But maybe, the degardation of societal mores will one day make affairs acceptable. Just like sexual equality and rock and roll. And MAYBE, it is now acceptable, back in Sunny Singapore. Who knows, I may just be out of touch! Ah the relief now washes over me. Suddenly everything makes sense again...... NOT!

Sigh

2007-03-06T23:13:00.000-08:00

I'm going to talk about happy things although I don't feel very happy at the moment. In fact, that's the precised reason why I shall only talk about happy things today.

I'm more excited about going to the UK.

Christine sent me an email with my UK work schedule so now I can actually see my name on the London office work schedule. I'm slated to start on the 2 April. That probably isn't going to materialise as I have classes in Sydney on the 1st of April. But things are beginning to feel a whole lot more concrete and I know they want me!

Plus, just received news that there are a whole lot of us in the UK at the moment. Us being NTU graddies who started at PwC Singapore at the same time. In fact, around the period April - June this year, a good 25% of us will be there. How amazing is that?

I've also decided to take next week off. By hook or by crook. I need a break. Desperately.

So that is another plus to look forward to.

So there. My life is OK

2007-03-06T04:53:00.000-08:00

another tough day at work for me again.

I've begun to suspect that I may just be really inept at what I do. Why else do I always find myself at the losing end of a tug of war battle, always getting shit from everyone else. Managers, staff, clients...

Today Gillian gave me shit about not getting enough staff on the job and not behaving like a senior and not getting the actuaries to review the actuarial notes. It's not like I haven't been trying to get people on the job. I've been sending emails, calling, sending messages. Wasting half my day coordinating junk like that which I could have put into more productive purposes otherwise. And, she forgot she told me she would sort out the actuarial notes. Sigh

Deadline's tomorrow.

I'm so over all this crap

The sight of financial statements make my skin crawl.

2007-03-04T05:22:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking about home quite a bit.

It's been ages since I've gone back proper. The last time was a 4 day 3 nighter in August to celebrate Dad's 60th. And the thing that I tell everyone is that, not going back home for a holiday is actually a good thing because it makes life here a whole lot more permanent.

The less I travel home, the more attached I am to the life here.

At least that's what I feel.

So it's really strange that having not been back home (well barring a pathetic weekend trip), I've suddenly been thinking about home alot.

And random images of Singapore flash through my mind at the oddest of times.

Like just now, I was lying in bed getting ready for sleep and suddenly, in my mind's eye I could see the shelves and shelves of books at borders and remember how it felt to be standing there, usually just browsing to past time before meeting someone else in that area. This image quickly turned into an image of the book cafe in mohd sultan, then little india with it's busy roads and bright colours and then Derrick's place. The last one isn't surprising. Some pretty awesome nights were spent there I must say. Makes me feel so nostalgic, these places feel like they are just minutes away.

Memories are funny things.

Was also chatting with Zhiying today. So much have changed in our lives and we have been half way across the world from each other for maybe 3-4 years now it's hard to keep up. Some people say that good friends will always remain good friends but if people can't even maintain long distance relationships in love, why should friendship be any different?

The worst thing about long distance friendships is that the deterioration is usually too subtle to even realise it has happened until of course the irreversal is done. I'm going to bring up an old cliche to illustrate this point. The only constant is change. People change. Some more so than others of course. Priorities change, sense of humour changes, interests change.

I feel I have changed. Quite dramatically. It's hard to say for the better or worse.

But honestly, at this stage, it's too late to get my knickers into a knot trying to figure out if this change is good or bad for me or whether my life will get better or worse because of it. It feels ok at present but my life does have a tendency to throw me a curve ball whenever I feel a sense of stability.

I guess I must be a pessimist because I always envision these curve balls, no matter how positive they always seem initially, end up with me, a spinster, old and miserable in a studio apartment all alone, withering away.

*shudder*

And London is potentially one of those curved balls.

almost famous / Ribs & rump

2007-02-24T21:12:00.000-08:00

Just found out last week that we were almost famous.

We were out celebrating Ceez's birthday two fridays ago at the shelbourne and our picture got taken and posted on the shelbourne website. We were obviously the cool kids! Yay!

I refused to succumb to my asian calling even though my arm was most tempted to spring up into a "V". The guys made up for me though.

Everyone (cept my sober self) were so thrashed they had no recollection of this photo. Wahaha!

More pictures will be available soon when Ceez gets round to uploading the photos.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Went out to Ribs & rump in Gordan last night. I had heard good things about it and was quite excited.

The ribs were quite good. Tasty and tender. Very YUMMY!! but the most impressive thing about it was the size of them. The full rack of ribs were larger than an A4 sheet of paper. WAH!! Took several pictures of the massive ribs and will upload them as soon as I get the pictures of Marty's phone.

I only ordered half a rack which looked pretty attemptable when it first arrived. I got through half of what was on my plate and was beginning to feel quite full and pondering if I should force myself to finish off the rest and I would have had I notflick the rack over and was shocked to find another smaller rack hiding beneath. It was then that I decided to just da bao it all home. It would just be impossible to finish anyway.

Luke was disgusted at my poor attempt at the ribs. hee hee

In my defence, I ate one whole potato as well.

One whole baby potato =)

2007-02-22T23:39:00.000-08:00

My emotional state of mind feels like a roller coaster nowadays and it's so exhausting.

I guess it's partly genetic make up. In that way, I'm so much like my mom it terrifies me.

Why can't I be a jack-in-the-box, bouncing back after any setback.

I actually think this kind of "omigod i screwed up hence I'm such a screw-up and it's eating me up inside" attitude is very David but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

Even something like forgetting to respond to an email bothers the hell out of me.

I mean, granted I'm not the most organised person in the world, but at the same time, I have a trillion and one work related "to-dos" on my mind and keeping on top of things is no walk in the park so really, i shouldn't be to hard on myself if I forget one thing but I just find it impossible to let go which makes my life miserable.

My greatest fear is one day, I'll become a David.

How very awful.

And it's not only work.

I've just become this worry wart. I worry about everything from work, to what will become of my relationship if I go to the UK for 3 months (which is another story), to how much tax materials I have to bring for my tax exam in the UK and hence I will have less space for my numerous clothes bags and shoes and my potential overseas purchases.

And the worst thing is, it's sometimes even unconscious.

Make mental note to self - "Focus on positives"

Maybe swearing less will make me a more positive and happier person. I'll give that a shot! Happy people never swear. Obviously most people would think that happy people do not need to swear but then, maybe it's the swearing that make people unhappy.

^*&^(*&)(

2007-02-16T06:52:00.000-08:00

what can I say?

My life has been pretty excellent this last week.

Firstly, the housemate Gareth has turned out to be a pretty OKAY dude. He joined me in the city for Ceez's birthday celebration but more on that later.

I have done jack all work for this week mainly because I have been in a sort of celebratory mood.

It actually started last week with me feeling absolutely bummed out about work. If ever there were any professions that invoked emotional instability, auditing would definitely be one of the top few. It's so tiring always trying to impress different people and feeling so out of control of most of the factors that impact on your performance. Add to that, everyone hates us.

So anyway, I've been in what some people might have called a trough if they wanted to understate how I felt. I consider rut a euphemism as well and would much rather call it being down in the doldrums.

This feeling of despondency and low self-esteem was a product of a really hard year of work in 2006 without any back patting "good job done" thank yous from the people above and an unexpected lull in work which has given me much more time to think and realise. DAMN. I HATE MY JOB!!

Finally, however hard I had tried internalising this, it started to show and the quality of my work started slipping. I sighed unconsciously all the time. Unable to hold it in any further, I fessed up to Gillian (my manager) that I'd lost my audit mojo who then advised that I speak to Voula (partner) and my mentor aka SDM - Damian.

It's astonishing how much of a difference a little complement can make. After the brainwashing from two partners who heaped loads of praises, audit suddenly didn't feel too bad. I felt inspired. I felt I could change the world with my audit procedures. I felt like... SUPER AUDITOR!!

NOT.

A half hour later, I was spotted moping around the office waiting for time to pass. As a saying in Hokkien goes, Pa Bang!

But at least, now I know where I stand at work. Gillian advised me to ask for the moon saying, "Mindy, the partners are willing to bend over backwards to help you out. You should demand for things. Get what you really want for once."

If only I knew what that was.

The secondment to the UK may sound really exciting but I think my main purpose is just an opportunity to rock the boat a little by changing my surroundings. It's really an opportunity to escape really. And if I don't get it, nothing would have changed because something tells me it's not so much the environment but the work.

But i guess, I'll just have to wait and see how things happen in the next few weeks.

2007-02-12T03:47:00.000-08:00

Some somber news to share.

Last year, I met Chris whilst holidaying in Melbourne. He was such a sweet soul it was hard not to like him. Gentle, generous and with a slight sense of humour, he was easy to get along with and the few days we hung out with Jean and bobo, to Mount Dandenong, Mrs Marples to his favourite breakfast place, to bortsch, vodka and tears were enjoyable in a peaceful relaxing way.

Last year, Chris' cancer metastasized and he passed away peacefully in his sleep last Saturday.

which then makes me wonder about mortality. I know it's so cliche but isn't it always the case? and then when you think about death when you're not reminded by it, people think you are morbid and avoid talking to you.

One thing I've realised, most people unconsciously avoid talking about death. It's the epitome of a taboo subject. How morbid, to go around thinking of the hundred and one ways one could leave this world.

But then again, if there are scientists out there who invest their time studying wasps to the extent that we now know how a wasp can hijack a cockroach by injecting a chemical into its nervous system which then allows it to manipulate the cockroach feelers much like a joystick, allowing it to ride the cockroach like a horsey (and this is true or the internet is lying), then surely the contemplation of death should not be frowned upon because it sure as hell (no pun intended) appears to be more important.

I don't mean to sound like I'm poking fun at the topic of death.

I do feel sad.

Just that random thoughts in my head got the better of me I guess.

On a lighter note, it's great that Gene is here now. Haven't hung out really in two years almost? At first it seemed that perhaps this arrangement was a potential recipe for disaster (jolene suggested we would be tearing each others throats out or maybe she suggested I would be the one tearing?) but after the first few hiccups which were ironed out quickly, things seemed to have settled into a nice routine. I hope I haven't jinxed it by writing it out.

Marty poo (yes it's his new name) has a new playmate and so have I.

We found another housemate over the weekend. He's Gareth. English. Very stiff upper lip. To the point. Little sense of humour or at least our brand of humour. Very into sports I must say because he mentioned that if we were getting foxsports, he'd spend all his days at home glued to the telly. Gene suggested tweaking his upper lip when we get to know him better.

Interesting times ahead.

2007-02-09T03:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since the last update.

Lots of things have been happening.

First, fell kind of sick and without realising, lost enough weight for everyone to start making comments about it which is good in a way because which girl doesn't want to be thinner? even tracy goes on diets!

Eugene has managed to get his room set up. More set up than mine anyway. He's going to be officially moving all his stuff in tomorrow morning.

It's been really hectic getting the house set up and finding a housemate. Really wish things could settle down into a bit more of a routine. Unfortunately, the housemate we decided on flew our kite with the excuse that he felt pressured to say yes to us. Bummer cos now we have to go through the whole hoohah again.

work has been kinda up and down.

Up because everyone at work has been really nice and encouraging but down because I feel miserable at work. Really unmotivated.

2007-02-07T00:47:00.000-08:00

I have the best boyfriend in the world.

He's so great everyone who meets him loves him.

He's always cheerful and optimistic.

He's always good for a hug and a cuddle.

He's always game to meet up and hang out even though we see each other everyday and even meet up for lunch during the day.

And after all that, he's still not sick of me.

How good is that?

2007-01-24T22:23:00.000-08:00

And I claim to be an auditor!

Oh i could so kill myself!

I bought the prettiest pastel pink stripey cotton fabric to sew covers for the $6 couch i purchased 2 weeks ago. the material is absolutely sweet. very laura ashley. I was sooo excited i decided to stay up last night to do it up. My first foray into sewing in 10 years.

I measured up the cushion cover carefully and even wrote down on a piece of paper what the precise measurements should be BUT I have no idea what possessed me and after cutting the fabric, i realised I ended up cutting the material 3 cm short.

shouldn't i be meticulous and organised to a fault?

let me assure you, 3cm is significant when you need a cushion to precisely fit a couch!

why couldn't i have cut it 3 cm too long.

why must the big guy up there do this to me??!!!

if i could, i would have kicked myself.

fortunately, i still had that teeny little bit of self control left in me, if not, i would probably have started a big tanty, kicking my heels into the floor and screaming. Instead, i had a slight whinge, and decided to work with whatever I had. I figured I could at least have a test run.

the cover is still in the making. half way there! yay! it probably wouldn't fit really well but heck! it's a feat in itself. soon, i'll be able to start my own little sweatshop upholstering sofas.

whoopppeee

slow buck here i come!

2007-01-23T02:04:00.000-08:00

I'm so fickle minded I astonish even myself.

Just the other day, I felt I needed a change. The reality of what I really am hit me square in the jaw and it's unbelievable that it took me so long to realise that I AM AN AUDITOR.

Oh the horrors!!

How could I have allowed myself to spend the better years of my life cross referencing audit workpapers and checking the adds on financials statements, or even worse, how could I allow myself to become a punching bag for disgruntled clients.

But that was the other day.

Today feels different because I've almost completed a big job and the bosses appear happy so obviously it's a great relief to me and I feel like I can finally focus my energies on making my new place a home.

Also, on the way home the other day, Nab and especially Amy, who are both on my team, thanked me for helping them out during the last couple of weeks. It feels good knowing that I have become a good lead. The kind of person I wished lead me when I was wet behind the ears.

Not that these short-lived feelings of gratification would make huge impacts on my life decisions(Apathy still rules in that department. One can never fight apathy. It just is) but it has at least shelved the ennui temporarily and allows me to justify one more day of existence as a scummy auditor.

Even the word auditor makes my skin crawl. Shudder

2007-01-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

Finally moved some furniture into the new place last night and we couldn't have done it if ceez and especially luke did not offer to come by and help. It didn't seem that daunting, given the few possessions that I had, and Marty and I did afterall manage quite well when I was moving out. However, the dining table I purchased on ebay for a hundred bucks, that looked deceptively flimsy in the picture turned out to be a solid chunk of timber. That and the fact that the hall way only extended less than 28 inches across made the move almost impossible. There was no way the table which was more than 30 inches tall could fit in. In the end, we had to dismantle the table and put it together again. Now why didn't we think of that in the first place?

The place seems really awesome and my fingers are crossed. I've decided I'm not posting any pictures until Eugene gets here. It'll be a surprise. Everyone who has seen it has said good things so far and when I say good things, I do not mean the run of the mill, politically correct, lukewarm sort of "compliments" like - yeah it's nice. I mean comments like "Omigod!", "I hate you (for having such a nice place)" is my particular favourite and "this is so cool".

Now, to find an equally cool housemate. *FINGERS CROSSED*

Anyway, the gang last night have decided that the 6 dollar sofa is definitely too horrible to stay in the house and I'm a girl on a mission now. I've scoured the ebay and tradingpost website in the last 12 hours and nothing has come up. Undaunted, I'll be going to Ikea. Not the greatest place in the world but desperation calls for desperate measures.

Hopefully the place will be livable by the end of next week.

We need a party of sorts for the upcoming Australia Day!!

2007-01-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

Had my first proper game of soccer today and it rocked!

I finally understand why guys get so obsessed.

Marty rounded up a group of us and signed us up for mixed soccer. He bossed me into buying a pair of soccer boots which i grudgingly did so for 10 bucks (there was a sale on at rebel sport. yay sale!)

Mark from work (who used to play pro and now coaches a girl soccer team) looked disapproving when I proudly displayed my ten buck boots.

Him: "For ten bucks they're gonna hurt."

Me: "But they're Reebok!!!

Marty (much later on): Are you sure they aren't Weeboks?

And even though they are made in China, they fit fine and felt really comfy. Marty was right. Having the right gear makes the game so much more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, for all my new gear (shin guards and nice addidas socks included), we conceded 2 own goals and scored zilch.

The upside was Marty said I made a really good defender and I didn't have to pay a joining fee. That's what you get for dating the Coach! Yay boyfriend!

Hopefully we can start getting some goals in next week

2007-01-16T01:28:00.000-08:00

It was our 1st anniversary last night and we had dinner at the much talked about hurricanes.

It was good but not great. We're never going back again. Well maybe if majority wins but definitely, we will not be making the effort to.

The plus side was, we discovered a really nice book cafe which could be a good substitue for sappho's. It had a Hemingway room. Yay! Coffee was good too. Double Yay!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Got keys of the real estate agent today.

Getting kind of excited about finding furniture and all.

Just wish that I had someone here to help me out as well.

2007-01-10T00:31:00.000-08:00

Work has been going great!

I get off at 5:30 every day and the people working for me have been responsible and pretty intelligent.

Phew!

I've always wished that I could be one of those people who proclaim how much they love their lives and I'm beginning to feel that I could soon turn into someone like that.

Yay!

I'm beginning to feel contented with my life. Omigod! Call Ripley's!!

2007-01-07T05:50:00.000-08:00

It's back to work again tomorrow and I absolutely dread it. This feeling I have is the exact feeling of dread I used to have on the 1st of January night, the night before the start of the new school year because my entire school holiday homework had not been touched.

I can't believe that being 26 going on 27 and I still have these kind of anxiety attacks.

It makes me really wonder the benefits of having a 2 week break right before the storm.

I wanna be a tai tai

My New Place and NYE

2006-12-29T04:04:00.000-08:00

After hunting around for about 2 months, I have finally found a place in Glebe. Isn't it awesome? I'm quite excited but also rather broke. This place comes unfurnished so I'll have to buy 2nd hand furniture of the net which will probably set me back heaps.

I thought I was unlucky but at a bbq in Newtown today, I realised from chatting with the home owners (by the way, the newtown place looked really awesome) that prior to this place, they had been searching for about 5 months without luck. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky then.

I just wish Eugene was here to help me make decisions about which housemates and furnitures to pick.

I've come to realise that I'm really bad at such decisions.

New Year's eve was a blur.

Had a bbq house party at Marty's place and spent the night before kneading burger mince in preperation. Phew!

On the day, had a slight migraine which was a bit of a dampner and all i really wanted to do was to sleep early. The nine o'clock fireworks were pathetic and I playfully declared to the party full of aussies that Sydney's pyrotechnics was poo poo compared to Singapore's. Everyone booed me of course and tried to convince me that the midnight once were way better but i declared that I had already passed my judgement. Sydney was CRAP and that i was boycotting the midnight display.

By tenish, the headache was gone (hooray) and I decided it was time to give the party a little Zing!

by 1130, I was well and truly wasted...

meanwhile, marty had gone missing which made me feel a little helpless. He wasn't answering his phone too. He turned up a short while later but the earlier helplessness left me with an unease i could not quite shake off for the rest of the night which was a real bummer.

I did eventually pay tribute to the midnight countdown fireworks and for all the chemical euphoria i felt, the fireworks were still shit. Everyone agreed. One for Mindy Zero for Sydney.

3am, the revellers had left one by one and found myself collapsed on the living room floor, speechless with exhaustion with john on the couch. tucked john into bed with aristootle and a blankie, gave him a goodnight peck on the cheek and stumbled into bed and fell asleep dreaming of weird negative things. Not Good.

I'm beginning to wonder whether it's really worthwhile to live such a decadent lifestyle. From feeling terrible the next day to feeling terrible the next few days to feeling terrible immediately and for the next few days.

I probably have a body of a 38 year old.

2006-12-21T16:36:00.000-08:00

I have been having some problems in the house hunting front.

Firstly, the rental market is extremely competitive now. It seems to get a place, you have to fight tooth and nail for it.

So I decided to get a house instead of an apartment because I figured the extra space would reduce any apartment living inducing claustrophobia. I mean, living in an apartment with your family is one thing. Living in an apartment with friends/strangers is another. One needs a little space once in a while.

So I began my hunt of 2-3 bedroom houses in selected suburbs. These suburbs are well known as attas suburbs with mostly young families and yuppies living there. After numerous rejections, I realised that it was naive of me to limit my options and I was never going to get a place if I continued on like that so out of sheer desperation, I extended by search to dodgier suburbs on the outskirts of the city.

Realising that sharing a 3 bedroom house would allow me to get a nicer place for a lower per person rent, I decided to ask around for a housemate and "fortunately" or so it seemed, one other Singaporean guy (name not worth mentioning) expressed interest.

So I tried to include him in my house search, even picking him up and driving him around to see houses and suburbs. Meanwhile, ignoring all the warnings given to me by Max and Eugene because I wanted to see the nicer side in a fellow human being.

His responses for each place was always polite and non-committal and I really should have smelled a rat but we have all been fools at one time or other I suppose.

So yesterday, this guy tells me he thinks he will extend his lease on his current place and wouldn't be moving in with Gene and me. I Hoorayed inwardly. So I told him that's cool and i'll just go ahead and find some other roomie if I get this house in Glebe and then he tells me Oh... if you do get the house in glebe then I'll join you too! So i go, ok.. well if you want to... And then today when I call him to tell him that we would most likely be getting this place, he tells me he has already extended his lease at his current place.

Can you see my pain?

I wonder if it's a social disability he has. It seems as if he has a problem observing common decency.

So now I'm in a dilemna, do I take the current place, the only remote sign of success I've had so far, and hope i find a new housemate? or should I find a smaller place?

it's going to be a crummy homeless xmas for me

2006-12-19T22:27:00.000-08:00

I am finally beginning to feel the christmas cheer. A little last minute but at least it's not too late.

Will be doing last minute christmas shopping tonight in the city with Marty. We need heaps of presents for all his cousins and his parents.

Nothing like christmas shopping and departmental christmas music to enhance the holiday mood.

It's great that the weather has been grey. Strange as it may seem for me to think so but the rainy weather reminds me of Xmas in Singapore.

Tried making sticky date pudding last night and it was an absolute success!! Will be contributing that for christmas lunch.

Shopping here i come

2006-12-12T07:33:00.000-08:00

My exam is over.

Even though I only started studying on Friday and probably chalked up all of 2 days worth of study, it felt like forever especially because marty was out the whole weekend having fun, what with luke and Matt both buying the latest Wii, everyone seems to be having house parties with booze and video games these days.

After the exam, had lunch at Burwood with Max and friends, after which, decided to give myself a much deserved reward and went shopping at Burwood and even though I promised I wouldn't buy any more cardigans, I went out and bought 3 more, a dress and 2 singlets. But, in defense, I'd like to say that the exhilaration from splurging made every single cent spent absolutely worthwhile.

Who needs shrinks when they can have retail therapy.

Went to watch Russell Peter live today at the Enmore. If a stand-up comedian can keep you laughing for more than an hour with his incessant banter, he's gotta be good.

Looks like its going to be a busy week for me. I've got house hunting to do, moving furniture, going for marty's xmas parties, hanging out with Jolene, sewing my dress (if I have the time) etc etc etc...

And next week, I think I should plan a trip up to Tarringal.

Apparently there's a dress shop there. Its name? Mine Mine Mine.

Illeanna says the dresses there are to die for =)

Road trip is just an excuse for more shopping!!

2006-11-26T02:35:00.000-08:00

had a really awesome weekend.

Friday started out with drinks with Phil and beat at bungalow 8 with dinner afterwards, catching up with kel who just returned from his Singapore trip. Simple but satisfying way to start the weekend.

Saturday went shopping with marty who bought me a pair of shoes from nine west. Yay!! then bought some material to sew my own dress. When i actually get round to doing it.

Then went for Luke's bday celebration, which started at pier 26, followed by CBD, then to the Bavarian beer cafe, some irish pub, bungalow 8 where we stayed til closing time. By then, no other place wanted us. We got rejected by the oriental hotel and dirty jackson. possibly cos they knew we would be poor customers anyway, all we would have done was to sip water and sit around anyway. We sat at the tables outside the ship inn and finally said our goodbyes at 5ish in the morning because Luke and ceez had to rush to the airport to catch a flight to fraiser island. Brock and Zeezhan did not want the night to end just yet, headed of to embassy to see if anything was happening there

Marty and I wandered off to nurses walk where we sat, cuddled and chatted til 6am when we decided we had enough. We walked to wynyard train station and took the train home, stumbled into the shower and collapsed into bed.

After about 4 hours of sleep, we got up and headed to chatswood for lunch, did more shopping, i bought another pair of shoes, went back to Mart's chatswood home for coffee with his folksy. i was so exhausted, i fell asleep on marty's shoulder to the soothing sounds of chatting.

it's really nice to have that family feeling. having no family here, I really like hanging out with marty's parents. it gives a semblance of family life.

it makes me believe that perhaps, living here for a while longer wouldn't actually be a bad idea at all. Plus, eugene will be coming soon too!

There is hope.

This week looks up as well. My last week on Tower, having dinner with Marty's folks tomorrow, starting on Zurich as well which will be exciting.

Overall, Life's pretty good for now. The boyfriend is exceptional

2006-11-19T15:14:00.000-08:00

my car hit a grey cat last night =(

I was giving Zeeshan and John a lift home after the guys went over to Mart's for dinner and drinks. No one could drive except for me.

We were going down the winding back roads of mosman which aren't very well lit at all.

I actually saw the cat belly crawling its way across the road and slowed down expecting the cat to have slunk its way through comfortably but instead, it turned and looked into the blinding headlights of the car and froze in the middle of the road.

I hit the breaks but it was too late and i heard a few sickening thuds as the cat disappeared from road view under the car. I wondered if I had stopped the car over the cat and half hoped i had run over it proper and that it didn't suffer to much but moments later, we saw the cat zip off with lightning speed across the road.

The guys tried to reassure me that the cat must have been alright if it was able to run away so quickly but it was still a unnerving event.

*sniff sniff*

2006-11-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me the other day if it was possible to like 2 people.

"Yes." I replied. "But it isn't possible to love 2 people."

And I say this because my definition of like is a mere fondness for someone whereas my definition of Love is the feeling that you can only have that single person in your heart.

Love is outmoded these days, quite like chivalry.

Or maybe it has always been like this but no one really told us the truth until we grew up and found out for ourselves.

Ten years ago, I believed in happily ever after but now, I'd be happy if I get past the one year mark which incidentally is only 2 months away.

So between one guy and another, how does one choose?

The familiar but worn and outdated pair or the jazzy new one?

I guess it depends on the intended travel distance. If its long distance you wish to go, then the old ones seem a better choice because the jazzy new shoes might give blisters. If its just a night of partying you're after, definitely go for the jazzy new ones.

Or if you don't know how far you want to go, maybe wear one side of each pairs around for a while. Either one will come in handy at some point. although, wearing both at the same time may be tricky affair. Much like walking on a tightrope i imagine. A balancing act

2006-11-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

Bought my very own first 6 piece set of sauce pans and pots in anticipation of my intention to move out. I feel like a grown up now :) Nevermind the fact that i have been paying rent and bills for the last year and a half

It's been a year here but God Knows where my money has gone but I am finally able to say that I have saved enough to be able to move out. Even if its on my own. Although good news is that Eugene is coming over so looking to move out together with him.

I have been looking around at a few places and have realised its usually a toss up between location and space. But of course.

So on one hand, I'd really like to move into a house but on the other hand, houses in prime districts are obviously ridiculously expensive so if its location i want then i have to compromise on size. Its a tough choice.

I just saw an apartment in kirribilli which overlooks the city skyline. I just know it will be gorgeous at night. I can just imagine listening to jazz, chilling out and having coffee in the lounge but apartments can get claustrophobic sometimes.

and then there was this house in balmain. No view whatsoever but 3 bedrooms for only 450 a week. would be great place for barbeques, dinner parties etc...

decisions decisions decisions

2006-10-29T04:27:00.001-08:00

Marty has been hinting at my lack of interests in anything lately.

I suppose that is true to a large extent.

Somewhere between April and now, I lost my interest in hobbies that I used to enjoy. Guitar playing, shower singing or singing any where at all for that matter, cooking or whatever else Mindy likes.

God knows where the inspiration to do these things went or why they went, but disappear they did. Leaving an almost empty, introverted shell of a person. Contented to do nothing, neither happy nor sad. Which to some, may be an improvement from mopping. Who's to say.

I can understand why Marty would have a problem with this. At the moment, I have as much personality as a toothpick. I've probably turned into one of those wallflower girlfriend sorts. The types that just stand beside and slightly behind their boyfriends at functions, smiling as if it pained them, making everyone who tries to start up a conversation embarrassed with the lack of response.

I exaggerate.

Anyway, I've decided to go for swing lessons this coming Thursday.

Wish me luck

2006-10-29T04:27:00.000-08:00

2006-09-21T06:18:00.000-07:00

Sydney Sucks!

I know I don't ever want to live here for sure.

Nothing works.

Buses don't come on time, bus drivers drive off without stopping leaving you to wait another half an hour to forty five minutes for the next available bus, if it even comes. The trains break down. The ticket machines at the train station breaks down. You tell the police you've come home, the door is ajar and your house looks like its been broken into and they tell you its not an emergency and say they will transfer you to the finger printing department which puts you on hold for ten minutes. You hang up and dial the emergency number again and this time you clearly tell them you need someone to secure the premises because the trespasser might still be inside and then and only then, the light bulb goes of in their heads and they send the next available police car which takes more than half an hour to arrive. Et Cetera.

2006-08-27T07:07:00.000-07:00

We had breakfast at kirribilli, a new cafe Ian recommended and then after which, we decided to stroll across the harbour bridge.

We wandered into a museum shop set up exactly like how it would have looked in the 1920s, selling everything from twiggy brooms to wooden clothes pegs and sticky fly paper.Even the two old ladies looking after the shop looked old and shrunken.

We continued wandering around the meandering lanes and found a nice warm spot on some benches beside some old sandstone building where we snuggled down comfortably reading our books and enjoying the soothing live jazz music wafting from a cafe nearby.

The light grey clouds in the sky occasionally blocked out the sun for a minute or two, providing a temporary haven from the sun's soon-to-be blistering rays.

When we got hungry, we found a fish and chip place and had our lunch and continued with our book reading.

We strolled through the city, Hyde park and down to oxford street, chasing sea gulls and pigeons which always managed to remain just a step ahead of us so we were never able to catch them. We didn't really say much. Conversation would have been good but sometimes, silence is good too.

We met up with others at the Paddington Inn where the boys had their beers and the girls had their diet cokes. There were so many people dressed in blue, local supporters of the soccer match.

We made our way to the stadium, along with dribs and drabs of others also going for the match before we finally converged like mercury droplets at a traffic light just in front of the stadium. A man stood barbecuing hot dogs at the pub just in front of the traffic light and all it took was for one of the boys to declare he was getting one and soon, all the boys handed their five dollar notes over in exchange for hotdogs and ketchup with fried onions in a bun. The taste of the fat from the hotdog on bread was good in its simplicity.

The stadium was awashed in a sea of blue. Beer was all around. I proudly wore Marty's Sydney FC scarf. A sign of my allegiance.

In a flurry of shots and rebounds, we managed a goal and how we jumped up for joy, clapped our hands, screamed and did little dances in jubilation. It wasn't the world cup but then again, things like that aren't meant to be had to often.

After the match, we made our way back to oxford street for dinner. We trailed slightly behind the group and held hands whilst I sang my favourite jazz tunes.

We had dinner at the pink peppercorn. Laotian food at western price. They had gorgeous pink serviettes and served white rice dappled with grains of black rice.

We excused ourselves early from dinner and made our way home, contented and exhausted.

2006-08-03T15:13:00.000-07:00

It feels good to be back home...

Surrounded by friends who love me :)

was great having a cuddly session with jo and talking about life the universe and everying. I feel like me again....

ME ME ME!!!!!!!

2006-07-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

This morning, i said farewell to Amanda.

For the past few months, I only saw her on the odd occasion. Mostly, I think, because our boyfriends were kind of different.

As we gave each other our bye bye huggies, I felt my eyes sting up and had to make an effort to keep the tears down. I was genuinely surprised by the strong emotions i felt then.

I have always been supportive of her leaving. Believing that moving away is always a sign of a fresh start, of opportunities and of new discoveries. I couldn't tell her to stay because I'm restless too and would leave myself if I could.

I thought I knew myself well... *shrug*

Guess not...

I can't even really explain why i feel a sense of loss.

2006-07-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

I feel a little sorry that Amanda will be leaving Sydney but a bigger part of me knows that it's for the best.

I know how desperately she wants to get out of here and her difficulties in getting her stuff to melbourne so I offered to drive up to melbourne with her. And just like that, I find myself looking at a road trip to melbourne over the weekend.

We'll be driving up on Saturday and I'll be flying home alone on Sunday night.

It actually sounded quite exciting. I've never driven long distance before and I'll get a chance to give Jean a surprise. Plus, I get to introduce Jean to Amanda and I'm sure she'll take great care of her and introduce Chris and Andrew to her as well...

Was initially worried that things were gonna be hard for Amanda but when i had the brilliant idea to accompany her to melbourne and with that bright spark came along the other bright sparks - getting Jean to take her around - I know Amanda will be in good hands.

The only regretful thing is I'll be missing Round 2 of boyfriend's bday picnic cum house-warming at his new place on Saturday *bleah*

2006-07-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

The boyfriend has gone off for a lan gaming session with his friends tonight. His invitation was tempting but for some reason, my body has been feeling battered and bruised, plus the miserable weather outside called for a stay in tonight.

The stay in was good, allowing me some ME time but the freezing cold does make me wish I had a warm body to snuggle up to.

I'm really excited about going home and it feels like I have a hundred and one things to do in the 4 days and 3 nights that I'll be there. My flight arrives at about 10pm and after grabbing my luggage, it's already been decided that I'm heading off to wala's to rendevous with Eugene. Jolene has also agreed to take Fri off if she has nothing important on.

It feels like there's so many people to meet up with but so little time and I've decided that meeting times shall be allocated according to meal times and coffee times. Meal times will include breakfast for people who are willing to get up early to meet up with me. No choice there. Limited time available. I can already forsee an intense 3 days of late late nights/ early mornings, lots of tehs and lots of local food - hopefully this would include vegetarian noodles, boon lay nasi lemak, chilli crab, fish slice noodles, yong tau foo, roti prata and ban mian.

yay... Singapore here I come.

On another note, it's the boyfriend's bday this Saturday. =)

2006-07-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yay. Will be going back to Singapore for 4 days and 3 nights in the start of August to celebrate my dad's 60 bday. I'm so excited!!

It's going to be a hectic few days

2006-07-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

ok... a quick snap shot of what's been going on.

max arrived for his secondment, yihan came for his dentistry course, karen came for hillsong.

Karen went back to singapore, yihan will be leaving tomorrow and max will be here for another 2 years.

France lost the world cup which made me sad because the dirty Italians won and felt sorry for Zidane. But then, the Italians are really good too, so.

Woke up at 4am last friday and decided that I want to leave Sydney next year.

Destination -> Potentially, the city that doesn't sleep, the Big Apple.

Got so excited I couldn't go back to sleep.

Worked really late this week but had lots of fun with the colleagues.

Have a big weekend lined up.

Dinner in a bit with Yihan before he leaves, yum cha tomorrow morning, watching a play tomorrow evening, straightening up my apartment on sunday, sunday coffee and croissants at sappho books with Mart's cousins, Ian's bday drinks at Monkey bar sunday evening.

No Me time =(

Really excited to be going back home in 2 weeks as well.

oh and the new pay looks good on the bank statement.

I could admire it the whole afternoon

2006-06-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

Had a really unexciting day with the boyfriend today.

Due to the world cup match timings, I have been waking up at all odd hours and on a Saturday, a day in which I fully intended to sleep in, I woke up at 6am.

So there I was, lying in bed with my brain alert as it ever could be, not knowing what to do with myself and so I dragged the boyfriend up to watch the world cup matches of that morning.

Obviously, when the match ended at 9am. We were both rather bright-eyed and bushy tailed and so decided to head to Bronte for breckie.

Much in the spirit of the world cup, well actually, it was sheer coincidence that I picked up this book at the boyfriend's place, I was reading this book by Nick Hornby - Fever Pitch - A book that would strike a chord in the heart of every male soccer lover.

In the preface, Nick Hornby wrote about his passion for the game and how he has often caught himself drifting off in the midst of a conversation, reminiscing a magnificent goal from a match years ago.

I read that with one eyebrow raised and after confirmation of this phenomenon with the boyfriend, I was well and truly flabbergasted.

Anyway, the point is this. Throughout the whole morning, the boyfriend, who isn't one of your boisterous types in the first place was quieter than usual. With a faraway look in his eyes (reliving kewell's goal at every opportunity). The only conversation we could have was to either discuss the world cup, talk about the world cup and talk about the world cup somemore. Did I mention the world cup? Might have slipped my mind.

Men are well and truly from Mars.

Moving on slightly, watched The Breakup tonight. It is a rather good movie for the simple fact that it managed to portray so realistically, possibly the reasons why most relationships go awry. In fact, so successful was the movie in depicting the thickheadedness of men, it made me almost pissed off with Marty simply because of his sex.

Of course, all men are dickheads and jerks to a certain extent and seeing those similar male habits on the silver screen only drums home one fact.

Those habits are inherent and unchangeable. Ugh.

Sports, video games, mess.

Live with it girl. That was the sublimal message. Ok... Maybe not that sublime.

Of course, I must also mention (only briefly though and in small fonts) that girls are very manipulative and expect men to read their minds.

Anyway, conclusion: Must watch movie to educate the men. They simply must have it spelt to them. They have to want to do things for us. Even if it's just a pretense. They ARE expected to read our minds. And no means YES, yes means yes and maybe means NO....

It's not that hard is it??

2006-06-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

the boyfriend's alarm blared at 4:30 in the morning and I concluded he loves his soccer more than me from his willingness to leap out of bed.

"But i woke up early on our trip to melbourne for you as well... see i love you too" he protested

"yeah? but we were going on a holiday together" i say as i narrow my eyes at him.

"that's true" he admits

he goes away and switches the heater on and makes me a tea.

After tossing and turning for a bit, i finally stumble downstairs into his study just in time to see the first goal less than 2 minutes in the match. Ouch!

After which, a gripping 90 odd minutes ensued where there was much jeering, cheering and leering (courtesy of a female australian fan in a yellow halter)

the end result, Australia drew 2-2 with Croatia and gets into the next round by the skin of their teeth.

so the boyfriend and i jubilantly make out way to the city for breckie before work.

there was lots of honking, cheers and shouts in the city. everyone was walking around with smiles plastered on their faces with a few odd grouchies aside.

it was fun!

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On a slightly sadder note, work is shitter-dee-doo-dah

Stayed til 7 on a friday night which is insane if you ask me.

Ruined my friday night and I missed a dinner with marty and friends to celebrate the australian win.

Possibility of working over the weekend.

2006-06-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

With greater power comes greater responsibility said peter parker's pop.

Just copped a whole lot of shit at work and with the recent promotion, I can't turn a blind eye anymore. But then again, work life's always like that. There's shit everywhere.

Pity my tai tai ambition looks even less attainable.

I suspect the boyfriend is the sort that not now or would ever condone the idea of a dependent spouse so unless I start hunting around for a new one, I'd better get used to the thought of office politicking in the office and serfdom at home for the rest of my life.

-_-'

Chatting with Marissa the other day and the topic of tai tai~ism came up.

I told her how Marty did not take to the idea of having a housewife and she said... "aiya... you should go out with a singaporean!"

Ouch....... and I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes.

Maybe it's a cultural difference... but i think Marty's school of thought seems to be more "you take care of your own shit and I take care of mine, after which, we'll just hang out and have fun with each other" but this is not how I was brought up.

I believe in a family unit. Not in the individual.

Plus it just feeds my aforementioned uneasiness when all my asian friends never fail to remind me how individualistic white people are.

I guess for now, I'm just going to go with the flow... I think it wouldn't be long before I feel like leaving Sydney. As it is, I'm starting to feel frustrated with this city.

Just yesterday, I spent more than an hour waiting for the bus to come. I was sick with a pounding migraine, it was cold and wet outside and the bus stop had no shelter. Just because it hardly rains in Sydney (an average of about 32 days in a year), the state government obviously saw no need to have sheltered bus stops. Buses are supposed to come every half hourly but sometimes when bus drivers to a no show, there are no replacements. What with the world cup happening and all, I'm not surprised that the drivers have chucked sickies.

It's really appalling how fucking lousy the public transportation network is here. You'd think that such a cosmopolitan city should have really good infrastructures in place but Sydney disgusts me that way.

Roads with portholes, road markings old & defunct with new markings along the roads causing confusion, inconspicuous road signs making it impossible to find your way around, poorly lit roads, buses that are horridly late, trains that are never on time and breakdown causing massive hold ups, new road tunnels that are poorly planned and hence unused AND MUCH MORE...

I just can't understand how the public can accept this kind of service level. I mean, if this was a backwater town fair enough but it's not!

The state government has said that it intends to spend $40billion on improving public transportation. $40 fucking billion.

First of all, short of blasting this city to the ground and rebuilding it, I don't really see how any improvements can be made without inconveniencing everyone who needs to commute to the city.

Secondly, $40 billion? Geez... that's a hell lot of money. After the horrendous cross-city tunnel boo boo (Background: the state government spent about $800 million building a tunnel that is now under utilised because Sydney siders have decided to boycott the tunnel due to several reasons, one of which, the compulsory installation of an e-tag much like our ERP machines. And because the state government promised the private contractor who built and owns this tunnel a certain level of revenue, the state government will now have to pay the private contractor the revenue shortfall and guess where this money comes from - TAXES), all I can say is, the $40b better be justified.

Thirdly, alot of the inefficiencies of the public transportation is due to the plain nonchalance and laziness of the bus drivers and train drivers. They get paid more than 60 grand per annum. Hell of alot for a pretty brainless job in my opinion. I'm pretty sure lots of people from third world and developing nations would gladly have half that amount.

So why aren't these lackadaisical idiots fired? For fear of incurring the wrath of the trade unions.

Fucking bunch of spoilt brats really... if the governments would loosen immigration laws and allow a much more competitive labour environment, not only would it lower costs for everyone, it would also teach those lazy bums a fucking lesson, to either take their jobs seriously or shove off for someone of that would.

Grr.... it just makes my blood boil

Scoff at the propagandistic style of the Singaporean government, the yearly composed nationalistic songs in celebration of national day, the seemingly apathetic ignorant population (which i feel is entirely the success of governement propaganda so why the hell are they blaming our generation for being indifferent i wonder), the ugly government housing, the lack of creativity and vibrancy in the arts et al BUT give me the law and order, dependability of public transportation and well-maintained roads any day.

Unless of course, i'm rich enough to afford my own car and never ever have to worry about public transport ever again.

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Anyway, Aussies vs Croats today at 5am. another late night party at Mart's with beer, nuts, lollies (read: sweets), cookies, potato puffs (maybe) coffee coffee coffee then it's off to work immediately

for now, i'm off to pick marty up from work and cooking paprika chicken for dinner tonight. A dish my slovakian colleague has imparted.

2006-06-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

After slogging for 2 years and 9 months as a lowly associate in my firm, I've finally been given my first proper promotion and I can finally call myself a SENIOR accountant/associate. With that, I also have a whopping pay increment of 42%.

YAY

*cartwheels*

2006-06-15T04:49:00.000-07:00

Had a superb day today!

First, Jean and I met Chris and bobo (chris' dog who walks around on 3 legs because one of her hind leg is bad) for breckie at Chris' regular cafe near St Kilda's beach although I wouldn't really call that miserable stretch a beach but nonetheless, it was an interesting joint which had the coffee and cakes counter in the centre of the cafe and table all around it.

After breckie, we paid a visit to Chris' home to drop of his yellow saab convertible. Mmm... convertible. I LIKE. Anyway, Chris has a really cool bachelor's pad. His house is a tastefully done up two-bedder with nice art, a cool fireplace and cow skin rugs strewn around. A real bachelor's pad. =)

We took jean's beat up suzuki swift to Dandenong. This little red car makes the most awful noises when starting up and heaves and chugs going up slopes. The drive to Dandenong took forever and after a couple of wrong turns (Jean had this compulsion to turn left all the time) we were finally on the right road up the mountain. By this time, it was well past midday and we were getting peckish again.

A few kilometres up the mountain, in Olinda we stopped at Mrs Marples Tearoom for a wonderful tea. If you ever go to Dandenong, you have to try this place. Mrs Marples has a nice rustic atmostphere with a roaring fireplace. All the tables have nice floral printed table clothes and scones are served in nice baskets with matching linen. Rustic teapots are displayed throughout the restaurant/cafe and old pictures hang on the walls. It was very cottagey and was an enormous welcome from the brisk cold outside.

We ordered cottage beef pie (very apt), scones with homemade jam and cream, bread and butter pudding with ice cream and tea (but of course). The tea was some supposedly awarding winning blend in Britain. The whole get up was so very English.

After tea, we drove up further to a lookout point in Dandenong. The drive through the mountain was really beautiful as well with towering trees on both sides of the road. At the lookout, we could see the light of the setting sun on the mountain tops in the distance. We took a short bushwalk and saw huge trees which had a red tinge and looked like furry tails from a distance. The furry branches started from the base of the trunk and obscured the view of the tree trunks entirely. We didn't go very far before Bobo started slowing down her pace in protest.

As Dandenong is a mountain resorty sort of area, there were alot of quaint shops and after the look-out, we went shopping in these shops. We chanced upon a shop that had over 300 variety of teas and teapots of all shapes and sizes. I went crazy and bought 3 different kinds of tea there. We also went crazy at a shop selling body cremes and butters.

By this time, it was 5 and time to go home so we started the long and arduous drive back to Chapel Street where we had dinner at the Borsch, Vodka and Tears restaurant for yummy russian/polish food. Melbourne is slightly different to Sydney and getting a liquor licence is easier. Hence, All of the restaurants and cafes here sell liquor as well as food. Sydney has more BYOs - bring your own alcohol.

Borch, Vodka and Tears is a dimly lit restaurant with an old feel that somehow feels a little melancholic. I think anything Russian associated tends to exude that sort of melancholia. According to Chris, the restaurant hired a russian designer to intentionally make the place old looking. Here's a couple of pics of what BVT looks like. The restaurant at night is much darker.

The food was pretty good although I've never had borsch or dumplings in russia. An interesting experience anyway and plus the company was great.

One of the best days I've had in a really long time

2006-06-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

Walked the entire of stretch of chapel street and most unfortunately, found absolutely nothing at all. Well except for a fake chloe bag made of faux leather of a nice red. It isn't expensive at all and I really like the design but i'm iffy on the fake stuff. beat however has gave me roaring encouragement.

As promised to my two business partners, I have been scouting around looking for ideas and I've been feeling disheartened. After agreeing to go into this venture, I've been paying keener attention to ear rings, necklaces, bracelets, bangles, brooches and the like and I've managed to add a few new pieces to my collection. All for less than $5 each.

And whilst shopping with Marty at Paddington on Saturday, I found a shop that sold all ear rings for 25 bucks. Really gorgeous ones at that. Competition seems stiff but Eelin is of the opinion that there are stupid people (rich ones) who will not mind paying simply because they do not know there are cheaper and better ones about.

2006-06-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

It's been an exciting weekend.

But let's start with the bad.

During the week, I received a call from Suli. Much to my enormous surprise. When I asked him what was up, his flippant reply was that he had nothing better to do. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He asked me how I was and equally flippantly, I told him I was still alive.

He suggested meeting up for dinner on friday and deciding to let bygones be, I agreed.

Come Friday, we decided to meet at 7:30pm at Glebe. Not wanting to be late (silly me), I hurried Mart out of the house at a quarter to seven. I was cursing under my breath when I remembered Suli was ALWAYS late. But it was too late. We were already at Glebe.

I gave Suli a call at the restaurant

m: We're here

S: oh you're here!

M: we did agree to meet at 7:30 and it is 7:25 now

S: Oh we're still home and we haven't picked Jane up.

By this time, I can't keep the annoyance out of my voice.

m: This is annoying

S: I was going to tell you we would be late.

Uh huh... like when? 8pm? next year? the next millenium?

I hung up on him shortly fuming and disgusted with the lack of respect this so-called friend had for me. The most abominable thing is he does this all the time but each time, he waves off all his wrong-doing nonchalantly without any sense of remorse for wasting other people's time.

Maybe I'm not laid back enough but I do not see why I should be always waiting around for someone.

And to add insult to injury (but then again, I wouldn't put it part Suli to be such a user), I find out over dinner that his "pals" are busy this week what with house moving and all. I light bulb goes off in my head and I realise the unexpected call and suggestion to meet up was simply because his usual kakis weren't free.

How nice.

Moving on to nicer things, I'm in Melbourne!!!

Absolutely freezing here.

Came on Saturday night and had dinner with Jean and Paul and Spicy Fish. I was falling asleep during dinner from the lack of sleep the nightbefore.

The next morning, we drove 300km up North to Benella, where Andrew's mother lived. it was a quiet town with a pretty decent sized town centre. We made a trip to the Brown Brothers winery, Milawa cheese factory, explored the gold mining town of Becchworth, had hot pies at the bakery there, drove through a scenic route and bought lots of bric-a-bracs. It was great.

Came back last night in time to watch the Australia - Japan match.

the boyfriend went insane with the world cup. Spending 2.5k on a new LCD tv and is now having world cup gatherings every important match. We have been wagering on a match a day and I was 30 dollars ahead before last night, having won 3 bets in a row. muahaha...

i think the boyfriend was beginning to feel ego-bruised expressing his wishes to win his money back but we all know it wasn't about the money. afterall, he is or thinks he is the football guru. Must have been unsettling losing to me like that. Anyway, with the australia match, obviously he took australia. He is patriotic like that. Thankfully Australia won and the boyfriend is happy now, having had his beloved Socceroos winning and breaking his losing streak. So now, I can go back to winning.

2006-06-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Over drinks tonight, Ee lin, Marissa and myself have decided to go into a little business together selling accesories. I know it sounds terribly passe but to be honest, life has been seeming rather lack lustre of late (hence the lack in blogging entries) and this new development has at least given me something to look forward to.

It all started out very innocently with Marissa going on about how she would love to set up her own business relating to fashion of any kind and then Ee lin started on about how her mom is doing the same thing and that she has contacts but just that she lacks the motivation to and how she needs someone to nudge her along and suddenly we were talking about how feasible it actually was and then I started chucking in details and BAM! We realised we were in business. Plus, being the geek that I secretly am, I whipped out my lappie and immediately started googling information to help us along. And suddenly, my life doesn't seem that boring anymore.

With all this new excitement coming up, I can't help wondering if i actually need a boyfriend. Sometimes, i feel as if I don't really need a relationship. For years I have always been in relationships of sorts and have never been technically single for long periods but from memory, I seemed really happy in those little pockets of singlehood.

I still think Marty is a great guy but maybe relationships are overrated.

2006-06-02T00:19:00.000-07:00

It's absofreakinglutely freezing in Sydney.

Either winter has come early this year or if this is what Autumn is like, I dread the thought of winter.

Marty and I decided to go away for the weekend. Down to santuary point again. Where we can have some "ALONE" time. Yay.

The previous trip in warmer weather was absolutely delightful but this time around, I have my doubts. The weather has been forecasted to rain for the next couple of days and rain in temperatures lower than 10 degrees celcius is not something to be trifled with. You definitely want to be indoors and all rugged up.

It's times like these that I wonder how my people like Francis, Woanwei, William and the bunch in London survive.

It's a race to get home everyday after work. The wait at the bus stop feels like an eternity and whenever the cold wind blows, and boy does it blow mercilessly, I imagine myself not all too different from a fluttering dried leaf stuck to a twig. I also wish I had a roaring fire place.

Sometimes it even gets too cold to breathe and I find myself unconsciously holding my breath.

Anyway, fun weekend up ahead i Hope.

Will be back on Sunday night for dinner. Perhaps at a German restaurant that I've been meaning to go to. Need to introduce Peter and Nina (german colleague) before they both fly back home next week for the upcoming world cup.

I surprised Marty yesterday by telling him I knew what the score was for the Japan vs Germany match. 2-2 it was. That's what you find out when you get stuck at the reception with the newspaper on hand and honestly, I'd rather read about the world cup than Australian news.

He was flabbergasted and I think slightly proud. Maybe even loved me a teensy weensy little bit more than before. Who knows!

2006-05-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

Movie night tonight. When movies are almost half-priced but still $8.50 per ticket. And popcorn? 11 bucks. How expensive can it get to see a movie here anyway? 30 bucks if you're 2 halves of a whole.

But seeing as how there isn't much else to look forward to on weekdays -the other day being Thursday, late night shopping day when shops close at nine *rolls eyes* - that's what we have been indulging in when decent movies come up.

X-men was a riot in that there were bits in the movie that were probably meant in all seriousness but were a tad OTT for me that really cracked me up.

If you don't want me to spoil the surprise than please do not read on.

There was just a bit too much gayish undertones in the movie for me to bear. Angel was definitely one hell of a pansy and my skin crawled a little when the source of the cure/ little boy stared out of the window at Angel flying free in the skies with moony eyes.

And then when Angel flew in and saved his dad, the look of "love", "compassion" and "forgiveness" in his eyes for his father. Ugh... Way too sappy. Overacting overacting overacting. I would have much preferred a look of erm... nobility and grace perhaps? *shrug* Admittedly, everyone's a critic but this character really made me cringe.

And also not forgetting the goth drag mutant bad guy (or is it girl? or shim?) who had the power to make force fields. What's up with the holey singlet and the bra underneath. Martin reckoned maybe he was really a she so what gives with the manly voice? And what about the clapping motion before he/she summoned the force field?

GAY GAY GAY.

I'm not homophobic but I just don't understand how the gay theme helped the movie.

Oh and what about the way Magneto tore out the bridge in order to transport his cronies to Alcatraz. Err... why didn't he dress them up in ice skates and fly them over instead. Or better yet, get Jean Grey do to it. I mean, she is a class 5 mutant capable of vaporising anything. Surely that would be a piece of cake for her.

But the most puzzling was the ending where Wolverine goes "I love you" and kills Jean Grey, once again proving that men are idiots. Like Hello!! Why did you go do something dumb like that? If a cure for mutants is available and he loved her, just inject her with the cure. Sheesh.

Despite the hilarity of some bits of the movie, it was still a rather gripping action movie. And i do have a penchant for movies about people with superpowers. I liked Sky High so go figure. =)

2006-05-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

Had a dinner party at me place last night. Chicken curry, sambal belachan spinach (they were out of kang kong), mapo egg tofu, and sweet potato soup.

It was a good dinner. Ee lin, beatrice, david, jane, amanda, karl, marty and me. And even though I was feeling quite listless and dazed yesterday (God know's what was wrong with me), I perked up in the kitchen and whipped up all the dishes in 5 hours, including the time it took me to drive out, buy grocceries, drive back home, clean up a bit of mess and shower, which is a mean feat if you ask me.

In a bid to be more authentic, I resisted the urge last night to chuck in everything I could find in the fridge. My curries here are usually a mish mash of stuff like mushrooms, pumpkin, broccoli, sweet potato, chicken and even capsicums but I really wanted to have a dinner which reminded the Singaporeans/Malaysians of home. So i only had chicken and potatoes. Mom would have been proud I think.

Now, the next homey dish I'm gonna whip up will be beef rendang.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In case anyone was wondering why I haven't been writing of late and if i'm still alive, which obviously and maybe unfortunately to some, Yes I Am, I've just been a little uninspired and also working a little harder.

One thing I've noticed about work and me is that my work and my creative side are negatively correlated. When I focus more on work, writing and reading gets more frustrating. So lately, I've been kinda standing at the mini crossroads of my life.

Being an auditor here is not a bed of roses as some would have you believe. Yes. It's true that I get off work on time mostly. Yes it's true that I "work" from home on the rare occasions when I'm not needed in the office.

But in order to be good at what you do, not only do you have to keep abreast with changes in the accounting and auditing standards, you also have to be widely read about the industry that you specialise in. And that for me, ladies and gentlemen, would be the (drumroll)... Insurance industry. All the journals about the industry changes, market outlook, etc... as also being contantly updated about the client that you audit by reading journals in factiva, market announcements etc... Phew!

And then for insurance, the industry is impacted by the other industries, catastrophes, interest rates, economy (does it ever end?), you also have to know what's going on in every where else.

That makes me wonder. Is this what I want to be doing for the rest of my life? Face buried in a copy of the financial times? Poring over analysts' reports, walking the walk and talking the talk?

And if I stop being an accountant, then there goes my chance to live and work all round the world. I'd be extradited out of here immediately, maybe even with a cannon. =(

It's frustrating because I don't know what I should do.

And that makes me entertain thoughts of winning millions in the lottery.

2006-05-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

So I was on lavalife the other day because the boyfriend and I were having a disagreement and breaking up seemed to be on the cards. And I kinda wanted to put myself out there in the dating game again as quickly as possible. Afterall, time and tide waits for no man and it makes the breaking up period much easier to handle.

So lavalife has this chat thingy on the browser so you can chat with anyone online if you wish to. So this guy says hi to me and I say hi back. He asks me what I'm doing online, I take a peek at his profile and reply, I'm chatting with my ex. =) by the way, he's 45.

And he goes... oh... what a pity for me...

So i go... why's that

and he goes... because if you get back together with your ex boyfriend then I won't stand a chance...

Ugh... i hate it when they do shit like that... Why does he think he would have stood a chance otherwise?!

So I go... I just looked at your profile. Unfortunately, I think the age difference is too great.

And he goes... it's not the age that matters. it's the inner beauty of the person...

me... would you go out with a woman who's 70? (my mind conjures up a picture of a shrivelled old lady)

and he goes... of course

me... right!

He... too narrow-minded...

First of all, narrow-minded? I wonder if people will call me narrow-minded just because I do not partake in beastiality. So call me narrow-minded if you will but I just don't feel comfortable dating a senior citizen. At least not when I'm not a senior citizen myself. Why accelerate life? Why wouldn't I want to enjoy the hard taut muscular body of a young male if I can and when I can?

Secondly, and I may be cynical for thinking so BUT who he is trying to kid anyway... inner beauty of the person? This is a dating website for god's sake where people put pictures of themselves (if they don't look like clowns although some still do anyway) and talk themselves up. So don't get all self-righteousy on me for being superficial.

There should be a law against these paedophiles!!

Thirdly, why are there so many weird people online? Maybe I'm weird too... I don't know... I hope not... :(

But just, more often than not, you get pyschopaths, despos etc... it's hard to find some stranger online that you can just chat with about random stuff...

On jolene's recommendation, I set up an account at http://sg.wholivesnearyou.com

Apparently this is the latest and greatest website for one nighters...

Not that it'd be of any use to me but I'm still Singaporean so i signed up an account to see what the hype was all about.

So I got a couple of messages from people and realised that I had to verify my account with a $2 sms from a singapore phone before I could reply people... what a downer!! and there I was all excited about chatting with fellow Singaporeans... oh well... lucky for people back home unlucky for Me...

Memento mori

2006-05-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

Remember last friday night, I raided the neighbourhood library and brought back a book which much later on, I felt I must have been confused to have wanted to borrow it? A book about a man and his dying wife?

Well. I ended up reading it today.

A sad sad book.

how much of us there was by Michael Kimball

the book was about a man who's wife has a seizure in the middle of the night, after which, she slowly deteriorates and dies. But even though the story line seemed cliche and predictable, the matter-of-fact delivery, the honesty behind the words struck a chord in me.

Seizure in the middle of the night, and wife going into a coma

"I parked our car next to the emergency room entrance and left the engine on. I thought that that might somehow help to keep my wife alive. The ambulance that had had my wife inside it was parked there too, but there weren't any people inside it anymore. But the hood of the ambulance was still warm and i t made me think that my wife was still alive"

"Her eyes were closed and another part of her face was covered up with an oxygen marks. She didn't look like my wife like that, but I had never seen my wife dying before that night and I didn't know what it was going to look like."

"The machines and wires made her look so tired. I was tired too. I wanted to get into the hospital bed with my wife and go back to sleep with her. I wanted to sleep her sleep with her."

Bringing her home after she got better...

"I started the engine of our car up, but I was afraid to drive us away from the hospital. I was afraid that she might stop breathing again and that we would need other people to help us to keep her alive again. But I was afraid to turn the engine off too. Our car had kept her alive before"

"I would have carried her inside if I could have lifeted her up. But I was too old too , and too tired, and we just wanted to go back to bed and back to sleep together so that we could wake up again and it would be morning at home again. But neither of us could sleep much. We were both too afaid that one of us might not wake up.

"But we also knew that she was going to die sometime..."

"we knew that it didn't matter what or how much we ate. We knew that we couldn't be alive and together for very much longer"

"We wanted it to be daytime all of the time. We didn't need much sleep anymore anyway. I wanted to be awake for tht rest of the time that she was going to be alive.... We cooked and ate and sat and talked and waited and moved and walked and we did it all slowed down. There wasn't anything else that we wanted to do but be awake and alive with each other."

When she started deteriorating

"So we began to practice for how and when she might finish living and dying."

"We considered slitting her wrists, but we thought that that would have hurt her too much. We tried suffocation with a pillow, but I couldn't hold the pillow down."

"So we also practiced for her death with sleep. She would keep her eyes closed and change her breathing and push that hard last breath of air out of her lungs and her nose and her mouth."

"We both took sleeping pills so that we both could sleep. We were doing everything together that we could then."

"I swallowed mine so that I could sleep that sleep with her and not wake up either. We both held onto each other and looked at each other before we closed our eyes and let go of her."

When she dies

"But she was gone too and I hadn't taken enough of her sleeping pills with me or I wasn't close enought to dying to go with her yet."

"The rest of her body heat seemed to be leaving her body too, but I tried to keep her warm. I covered her back up with the blankets and I wrapped myself around her on the couch and held onto her too. She seemed to feel a little warmer again, but that was probably just the body heat from me warming her skin back up. But then she started to feel colder again and heavy in my arms and it made me feel cold too."

How his wife lay in the casket

"We had practiced for all of this in those last days too. We had used the couch for how she wante do be laid out inside her casket... She picked out that red dress that she wanted to wear and I thought of the sweater that she had always liked to wear at home and that she could wear over the dress and that might help to keep her warm."

"They asked me if there were anything that I wanted to put inside the casket with her, but I couldn't think of anything that I wantedher to take with her but me... and the casket wasn't big enough for both of us inside it."

"I laid down in the cemetry grass next to my wife's grave and thought of us lying next to each other in our bed again. I rolled over onto my side and laid my arms out over the dirt and tried to hold onto my wife again."

"I folded her clothes up to my face and smelled them and that made me afraid to wash the smell of her off of them. I folded her clothes up and stacked them up into a pile. I got a plastic bag out and set that little pile of her clothes down inside it. I tied the ties up on the plastic bag tight. I wanted to keep as much of the smell of my wife on those clothes and with me for as long as I could."

Dying is scary... to be old, ill and helpless is scary...

to love someone and lived with someone for so many years and have them die on you first is scary... I try to put myself in the shoes of such a person and it makes me shudder. I think I would want to just lie down and die with my loved one as well...

and I don't think I can overcome a major illness because i lack the tenacity to fight for my life. As it is, I'm only 26 but have begun to find life tiring.

Life seems to be a constant struggle to live up to the expectations of others. Worse if these expectations are work-related. That's why I try so hard to not let work affect me in anyway.

Most people never pause to consider that they have only a finite amount of time to live. They think it frivolous to fritter away economic value producing time mulling over death, dying and the like but to me, turning a blind eye to the fact that each passing second brings us closer to death seems almost naive.

2006-05-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Yay, boyfriend is finally a productive member of society.

Starting his new job at a bank.

Goodbye daggy t-shirts, jeans and sweater. Hello smart business attire.

Phew! I won't have to look inconspicuous when we meet for lunch anymore.

==========================================

Another yay!

Mark is going away on holiday for a month and I'll have the whole apartment to myself.

I can't wait.

P-A-R-T-Y

==========================================

2006-05-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

It was Mart's good friend's (Bayliss) b'day last night. His girlfriend Amy planned a surprise for him and arranged for friends to wait out at the Clock pub (somewhere in Surry Hills) whilst Ian and this other guy, dressed up in clown suits and scary masks, went to Bayliss' (who by the way has a phobia of clowns, as do I) house, kidnap him with black sack over the head, taped up wrists all and then bringing him to the pub.

Ian looked like he had the most fun. And he gets to keep the clown costumes for a week. It would have been much better if Bayliss had a fear of men in uniform. I can think of more ways to have fun with say an army officer's uniform. *wink*

Anyway, over drinks last night, I had a chat with Jo.

Jo = girlfriend of Matt --> Mart's friend.

We got to talking about how dreams and aspirations. And even if that isn't the most interesting topic, it is really much more preferred to "oooh yes I am an accountant and I deal with the financial statements of banks, insurance companies, and fund managers. Blah blah blah"

So there I was telling Jo how it'd be great to some day be able to open my own cafe et al, when suddenly, i had this moment of ephiphany and realised that talking about my dreams (Or perhaps bullshit because i couldn't be further from realising any of them) wasn't something I could do with Marty.

I've spent many a night, bullshitting in this a way with dear friends. Ideas that were thrown about were for example, an online funeral planner business (gene's idea), dressing up in secondary school uniforms and crashing JC 1st 3 months economics lectures, being really rowdy and defiant but able to answer all the economics questions with ease (the lecturers will have a fit), renting an apartment with cool friends, travelling overseas in the hazy future etc etc etc.

Maybe because he's too pragmatic.

But a mere mention of anything slightly whimsical usually garners no response whatsoever. And after a couple of slaps on the wrists, I've stopped. Which I feel, really stems my creativity and daydream starved.

Half seriously, I lament how Marty's boring and it's hard for me to BS about my "dreams" with him and when Jo agrees with me quickly, I'm mildly concerned and I wonder if it is the general consensus that Marty is boring.

============================================

Today's mother's day. Mart invited me to his Aunt's place for lunch. Third time meeting the extended family.

Dom and Lisa brought Pontoof, their whippet. A really endearing dog with fur as soft as a possum's.

Whippets look a lot like greyhounds. With long bambi like legs, they are built for speed and were used in hunting and considered as the poor man's greyhound.

Pontoof was sooo cute. Even with his long spindly legs, he curled up on my lap and went to sleep by tucking his head in the crook between my folded arm and my body. awww.... Now i wan't a dog too...

Am trying to persuade Marty.

heh heh....

anyway, lunch was great and i feel less uncomfortable around his relatives although i do think it's still gonna be a while before I feel totally at ease

2006-05-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

Finally managed to tear myself away from the boyfriend after 2 weeks of seeing him close to 24/7 and had dinner with beat at Cya, a decent korean restaurant in a small alley way in the heart of the city.

As we were paying for our dinner, we spot Marissa and Kel near the entrance of the restaurant waiting to be seated. Beat wonders whether we can make our getaway without them noticing. Now, Cya is a tiny restaurant of less than 20 tables and only one entrance so there was absolutely no chance of getting out without walking past them. We are momentarily delighted when Kel walks into the gents and decide to say a quick hi to Marissa and then disappear before kel reappears.

Unforunately, our quick hi just wasn't quick enough and kel came out of the loo before we made our escape. Brief pleasantries were exchanged and Kel asked after my health which was a tad unsettling perhaps because of my own guilt. To avoid the awkward silence that eventually decends on unwilling conversational parties, i remind beatrice that she has to rush home for her movie. I sensed the relief in kel, beat and myself. heh

The crisp cold air greets us as we spill out onto the busy street giggling. Beat remarks that kel should consider himself a lucky man, to be caught in such a situation. Caught in an awkward situation with 3 gorgeous girl he's gone to bed with. That tickles me and I laugh heartily in agreement.

We wonder if Kel has ever thought the same and that thought tickles us more and we continue laughing as we hurry along the streets on our way home.

I realise it's been a long time since I've had a good laugh with a friend. Which is kinda sad. These days, perhaps it's the lack of like-minded individuals, perhaps i'm just getting withdrawn. Who knows? Laughing just isn't as fulfilling as before. Usually it's more of a "that's amusing" sorta smile. Ah... i know... it's the lack of evil laughter. The kind of evil laughter you get from bitch fests.

Shucks. Not much I can do about that I guess.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally finished American Gods - Neil Gaiman. The unabridged version.

It was disappointing. I've always thought NG to be a really good storyteller. Captivating in a dark and sometimes satirical way and American Gods was intruiging at first. However, half way through the book, perhaps because I lost the reading momentum and was picking it up and putting it down sporadically, but I think mostly because he tried to do too much in this one story, the book just got too confusing.

There were so many new characters being thrown in constantly and so many subplots (some of which were insignificant to the main story) that I couldn't help but tire of trying to dig into my memory of who said what and who was called what. Bear in mind, this book was more than 600 pages so trying to recall the what(s) the who(s) said in the beginning of the book is no mean feat.

And what's up with the missing children and hinzeleman anyway.

Now I know why the version that won all the awards (abridged) was much shorter.

anyway, it's friday night and Mart is now getting inebriated at the Monkey bar with his mates, No doubt talking about the latest innovations (hydrogen powered cars?), politics, and other "did you knows".

I could have gone but the idea of drinking lemon lime bitters or diet coke whilst being a "trophy" girlfriend was less attractive than being snug in the comfort of home with a book, some milo and chips.

After I'd finished American Gods, the only other easy read on hand was "confessions of a shopaholic", which might I add, Mart enjoyed reading out loud to me in the car whilst i drove around today. He claims that it's only enjoyable because he's reading it out loud to me and he wouldn't enjoy it otherwise but then again, the unwritten rules of masculinity forbids him from admitting the latter so I have my doubts. I mean, I ask the guy to read out a paragraph or two just for kicks and he proceeds to read out at least 3-4 pages.

So.

Anyway, afraid that this chic fic would annoy me so much I would be near bald from tearing my hair out at its bimboticism, I head off to the library and arm myself with:-

1. Tom Holt - Snow white and the seven samurai. (i reckoned that I miss reading him)
2. Neil Gaiman - Anansi boys (What the heck, figured I'd give him a second chance)
3. Walter Moers - Rumo and his miraculous adventures (this book has illustrations of animals. I've decided to live dangerously)
4. And one more sappy book about love. and no, not a romance novel per se. I don't do danielle steele thank you very much. Some story about a man's love for his dying wife blah blah blah...

So it's gonna be a night of reading for me.

I guess Mart's right afterall. I think I am a geek.

2006-05-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to realise the quirky things about people that make you like them.

I walked into his room. well sort of. it was his sister's room before but she got married and moved out a while back. there was a huge king bed and on the bed was a black hard back novel by james patterson. Not exactly the kind of book I'd read. His glasses were wedged between the pages, marking up where he left off. they were intellectual and serious looking rectangular thin black metal frames. I think he looked better in them. I've always preferred bespectacled men.
The memory of the novel and glasses on the bed brings back warm fuzziness.

To list down other quirky things that I remember fondly, I'd say, the clean yet musky smell of the bed and pillows. The way the room had a warm yellowish hue when the sun streamed in. How there was always a lingering smell of cologne.

And as an after thought, although it used to be one of the main reasons why I like him, how I always felt taken care of. Looked after. Safe.

In the end, I never really knew him and he never really knew me. We are as good as strangers and yet we were close friends.

I indulge myself and wonder about "what ifs"... but only sometimes.

2006-05-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

It's 5am in the morning and I'm wide awake in the kitchen, sitting with my legs curled up sideways with a tea by my side, the heater switched on and my laptop on my lap, trying to take stock of my life. Or in other words, nitpick.

I woke up in the middle of the night, more than an hour ago and lay tossing and turning in bed. I've hardly ever done this for a while. This waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep.

I realise I haven't been writing much of late and it bothers me because I loved writing but of late, there just hasn't been any drive, or maybe just that my life has gotten a little dull and uninteresting.

Someone once said to me a relationship kills individuality. I think it applies to myself because of who I am but I do not think it applies to everyone. Marty for one, still retains heaps of his own individuality. He is absolutely undaunting in his warcrafting and reading habits.

He can be such a book slut. He carries around a little black satchel which I call his library. More often than not, there happens to be at least one IT magazine, 2 novels, his psp and an assortment of games.

I on the other hand am unable to stomach any book which doesn't tickle my fancy and a quarterly essay on the similarities of the English and Australians is definitely one of those types.

I digress.

Anyway, Marty is his own individual. I think. He's been a geek his whole life and never aspired to be anything else. If 20 odd years of peer pressure couldn't change him, how could a 3 month~ish relationship? Not that I want to change him. I love his geekishness most of the time. Although it will get quite disturbing when he starts to want to spend more time on warcrafting and reading than with me. Anyway, I'm just pointing out how he's not the sort that would lose his individuality just because of a relationship.

Back to myself.

A relationship cramps my style I think. Simply because my style is supported by a single's lifestyle. Before M came along, I decided that this year was going to be a swinging single's year for me. Where I would busy myself setting my life in order and dating several people. How happy and full of life I was then.

I'm quite a passionate person but in order to have passion in my life, I need the recklessness that comes along with passion. The free rein to live life teetering on the edge. Not cautiously creeping along, putting someone else's feelings over and above my own. It's natural for me to consider the feelings of my other half but doing the "right" thing is perhaps not second nature for myself.

I want to acheive some sort of balance. Having a relationship but being my own individual. For now, the relationship seems to have won. Who I am, what I want has become a blur. I feel restless and confused. In a state of disequilibrium. A recipe for disaster I think. Afterall objects can't be in a state of disequilibrium indefinitely.

2006-04-28T01:08:00.000-07:00

I feel that I've become really philosophical about crap at work.

I try to be.

It's not really that hard actually but it does require a little bit of effort.

Effort in letting go of things beyond my control.

And all it really needs is that.

Letting go.

And finding peace 0f mind.

Yesterday was a particularly trying day at work where I got so busy I had no time for lunch. My mind was so addled (from adding?) that all I could manage was an aimless stroll in Chatswood where the bright lights of the shopping mall were comfortingly distracting.

2006-04-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

Sung myself hoarse today at the karaoke (pronounced Care-Ree-oh-key) session with some folks at work today. What's the thing with karaoke and white people.

Place a mic in a white person's hands and he/she suddenly turns into a robbie williams/ mariah carey wannabe, gyrating their hips and contorting their faces (for greater effect i suppose). They aren't singing mind you... oh no no no... proper singing at a karaoke session with white people is a cardinal singing. Shouting and going off-key is the RIGHT way. *HEAR HEAR* Afterall, where's the fun in one (or two) person(s) singing whilst the rest solemnly sit around and "appreciate" (honestly, no one really listens when karaoke gets competitive... people just get restless and impatient waiting for their songs to start).

The beauty of having rowdy karaoke sessions is at the end of the night, everyone leaves feeling slightly closer to their fellow croonies or crooners (Depending on how wild the night went). Thanks to good training from me dad, I was able to keep up with the oldies in the group. Folks that sang oldies like delilah, layla, New York New York et cetera...

Fun songs to keep in mind for future karaoke sessions are:
1. Uptown girl (definitely a great group singalong)
2. Can't take my eyes of you (My personal fave)
3. This love (Maroon 5)
4. oh bla di oh bla da (Beatles)
5. you've lost that loving feeling (righteous brothers)
6. Summer days (??)

Bucks' night (continued)

2006-04-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

The private shows at the strip club left me quite unsettled but I couldn't quite put my finger on the why. I did however know that I had a good reason for feeling so because I am a rational, logical, understanding girlfriend, not too prone to childish tantrums. Or i try to be =)

Determined to get to the bottom of my own rationality, I pondered over this for a few days but epiphany only came last night.

I cannot overemphasize this. Girls nowadays face the pressure to think blokishly and be accepting of "wayward" boyfriend behavior in order to be more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex.

Drinking beer, watching soccer, playing computer games (especially world of warcraft for WOW geeks oops i mean fanatics), being good in bed and attractive are some of the traits that men deem as plus points.

Gone are the days of good teeth and good culinary cum cleaning skills.

Being blokish is necessary for a girl to set herself apart from the rest of the females. So if you can knock back a few pints, curse like a man whilst still looking pretty you've got it made.

needless to say, a girl who is accepting of sleazy male behavior is like a dream come true.

*yipee!! my girlfriend is cool. she allows me to grope other women*

anyway, back to the point.

so i asked the boyfriend: is it ok if i go to the club and allow random strangers to feel me up? I'm not making a move on them but I do nothing to stop them from making a pass at me or giving me a touchy feely.

boyfriend: no

Me: why not?

Just to give you an idea of what goes on in a private show, the stripper can do anything she wants to the guy, including a blowjob if she so desires but the guy CANNOT touch the stripper. Mostly, they just jiggle their boobs or gyrate their hips and hence pussies in the men's faces.

boyfriend gives a *duh* expression

me: isn't that the same as a guy going for a private show?

in fact, methinks that's worse because the guy is actively seeking out sexual entertainment.

boyfriend finally sees the light... ppfffttt

men... why do we always have to put things into perspective for them. must have brains the size of peanuts.

mood: triumphant

2006-04-17T01:18:00.000-07:00

The long weekend is most unfortunately over.

Sigh...

the shite thing about holidays are the end of it all, when you pack your bags, heavy with shopping you paid for with money meant for your rent for the next couple of weeks. Money you really shouldn't have spent and the weight of the luggage makes your back feel like its about to snap like a toothpick. But most of all, you feel the weight of the impending drudgery you will face once getting back. The piles of laundry, other household chores, work, colleagues, my once beloved routine, leaving my cousins behind. I dread all of them.

I feel restless.

I get back to Sydney and I feel like I should go out and do something. Not waste the what's left of the public holiday. It is afterall only 2:30 pm when I land.

In the end, I stay home and decided to pen down my thoughts over this long weekend.

I swear, if people stop blogging, msn, random internet surfing and put the time to productive use, we could probably seriously enhance the economy of one if not a few third world countries.

anyway, i digress...

1. hen's night

Hen's night wasn't too exciting. As expected. I hope it's because of the generation gap of the hen's night participants and myself. My idea of fun is certainly not sitting in some dim lit pub, answering silly questions and drinking because i've gotten them wrong and then going home.

in my own defense, I tried to get the party to liven up a little. the idea was that jean had to fulfil some assigned tasks. the first and only one we managed was that she should find a random guy, tell him that there was a group of horny women who wanted a mass orgy with only one guy and that he was the lucky one, convince him to follow her back to our table and then make him buy her a drink.

as luck would have it, all the cute guys in the room were in groups with other girls. not wanting to step on anyone'e toes, we left those alone. only the creeps and the impecabbly dressed faggots (obviously) were either standing alone nursing their beers or in all-male groups.

anyway, let's make this short. jean settled for a creepy guy who seemed to be high on some substance. when he found out jean was getting married the next day, he agreed to buy her a drink on condition i give him a kiss.

although i was feeling a little wild that night (anything to liven up a party), i wasn't sure if I was about to disappoint my boyfriend with someone that wasn't (in my books) attractive at all. Plus, his apparent altered state of consciousness was quite unsettling and he had a side kick that reminded me of the undertaker cum baby huey, ie, curly oily looking hair with a demeanor of someone slightly retarded.

after persisting for what felt like a lifetime, mr creepy gave up and bought jean a drink after borrowing some cash from his croonies. poor guy.

the mood was ruined and everyone became much more subdued after that. or rather, i became more subdued and hence, the party (if you can even call it that) petered out into a quiet mumur and i think I may even have almost dozed off a few times.

2. Buck's night

The guys weren't answering any of our phonecalls. bleah... only at about 130am did Mart disclose their whereabouts. Bar 20. In marty's own words, "it's..... classy"

Yuming and I decided to head off to bar 20. We reckoned that was where the fun really was.

the girls at bar 20 were really good. Much better than the ones I have seen in Sydney. great figures, great dancers and even better performers. the place wasn't as seedy as the ones in sydney too.

i must admit, i found the idea of my boyfriend visiting a strip club felt quite disturbing because it brought back memories of jerko david who visited seedy nightclubs even when he was with me. of course i was kept in the dark.

I don't know if i'm supposed to be accepting of behaviour like that.

it seems to be a case of double standards.

Why is it ok for a guy to go to a strip club, pay money so that a girl could touch and tantalise him but yet unacceptable if i did the same to another guy?

mart's explanation is that guys aren't allowed to touch the girls at the strip club, hence.

somehow, i begin to realise that no matter how much i try to understand the male species, I'll never be able to fully put myself in their shoes. to understand their ability to seperate love from lust.

I don't think i would want to hurt the person i love by making out with someone else i was lusting after even though it is lust and only lust i feel for the other person. I also do not think that i would justify my actions by saying that t'was all in the name of good fun or it doesn't meant a thing. Because, shouldn't the feelings of your loved one matter the most?

perhaps it's an unavoidable business practice in asia to entertain at nightclubs with female escorts. but unavoidable and ingrained does not mean women should be apathetic and accepting about such behavior.

it's either the men should stop their perving or let's see some male strip clubs and nightclubs with male escorts only!!!

Wedding insanity

2006-04-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

What is it about weddings, family ones in particular, that cause people to go slightly mad.

All marriageable aged family members who have yet to tie the knot would inevitably be interrogated not too differently, I imagine, from how the Gestapo interrogated their hapless victims, until they crumble into a dithering heap, surrender and agree to get hitched in the next year.

Mart and I were put under the grinding knife last night at Jean and Marcus' wedding reception. Now ordinarily, considering how I'm the "next in line" of the cousins, I really shouldn't be too surprised. However, they fail to realise that we've only been together for THREE MONTHS!!!

The hints started dropping when Andrew asked over cocktails when the next part was going to be held. The next party in Sydney. I did a major eyeroll that probably scored a 9/10. As if on cue, everyone started.

At the VIP dining table, I seated Mart beside Uncle Richard, thinking he would be safe there but uh uh... after getting a little sloshed, Uncle Richard got a little chatty and started his banter as he heartily clapped mart the on shoulder...

"so... when are you getting married?"

it was at first amusing the laugh at Mart's discomfort but as the night wore on, even I had sympathy for him. I mean, these people were family and even though I had my fair share of ribbing, I could laugh and brush them aside. I could afford to be a little "rude" but Mart had to plaster a smile to his face even though he must have felt like shoving a foot into my uncle's throat. I know i did.

sometimes oldies drive me insane.

fortunately, mum was mum... haha

even at the after wedding party, we were not spared.

the most annoying thing was how everyone made out like I didn't have a choice. That mart was the one who was the all deciding factor in us getting hitched.

hrrmph

"hello" a girl can say no can't she?

ppffft

in the end, I realised the best way was to openly admit that a wedding will be on the cards in the next year or so, drink down a toast from "well-wishers" and laugh it off.

I'm just glad mart hasn't decided to pack his bags and leave. I mean, which guy appreciates being arm twisted into an awkward situation like that?

or maybe he has already decided to but is just biding his time...

....

....

2006-04-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

After much a do, which included fuck ups in domestic flight tickets, train rides to the airport et al, I finally managed to make my way to melbourne.

Kinda disappointed because I was expecting to fall in love with the city after hearing so much about how "european" it is. Unfortunately, the towering skyscapers were the first to greet me as I neared the city and it reminded me too much of Singapore for me to be impressed in anyway.

Perhaps I'm just a tough customer.

Anyway, in a bid to buy a dress for Jean's wedding, Mart and I went crazy shopping around. The shopping here is definitely way more overwhelming than Sydney. There are so many boutiques on every single street to do boutique shopping would be too stressful for me to handle so I decided to stick to the safe departmental stores and did a damage of *ahem* almost $500 in the first afternoon of shopping :P

At night, we head over to an italian restaurant where Mart's friend is a chef there and have a freaking 8 course dinner with champagne

1. pizza dough balls with anchovies, chilli and zuchini flower breaded and fried

2. caprese salad

Honestly, after the caprese salad I was pretty happy to place my fork down, rub my belly and call it a night... little did I know it was just the beginning....

3. buckwheat pasta and potato with butter sauce, sage (or maybe some other herb) fried crisp in butter

4. There's something here although i can't quite remember what

5. Prawns wrapped in prosciutto with potato and lemon salad

6. Rabbit ragout and thin fettucine

7. lamb with tomato salad

8. Eggplant ball in napoleonese sauce

9. Crepe suzette and vanilla ice cream and coffee... (good good coffee)

The food was good though... =)

after dinner, we both so exhausted we came back immediately and slept... zzz

2006-04-11T03:58:00.000-07:00

So Torin, the dude mart helped me make friends with on rsvp said "hi" to me last night and we started chatting.

So i asked Torin what he did for a living to which he replied "i'm a free lance journalist... i can help you with your english if you like =P"

I guffawed...

It's been a long running joke amongst some of us here. Being Asian, non-australian and living in Australia, it's often that the aussies/white people are impressed by Singaporeans' command of English.

"oh you speak really good English" they say whilst smiling ever so sweetly at you. Thinking they've paid you the compliment of a lifetime without realising how idiotic they've just made themselves out to be.

to digress a little,

i found it really funny once when mart complained about how an ignorant american remarked on his good english. It was funny hearing the indignation in his voice. See the parallel here??

and now, back to the point...

so now, whenever mart tries to take the piss, he tells people that i speak good english. And then we both snigger knowingly

anyway, when torin said he could help me out with my english, mart was there to. It was so hilarious. how we laughed.

and i continued my conversation with torin, making the extra effort to be grammatically incorrect.

"wow thanks you very much... my english needs most improvement" says me

" so is your boyfriend from sydney or singapore?"

"mine boyfriend is from sydney"

Meanwhile, Mart accuses me of being mean and asks me to stop

I get annoyed and insist Mart's cramping my style...

"or soon to be ex" i type spitefully in front of Mart... *hah*

this gets torin really excited...

"oohhhh soon to be ex... you're breaking up with him?"

I imagine him salivating

"hah he cramping me style" --> Mart thought this sounded more cavewomanish than bad english

"ooh yeah... that's nto good" says Torin...

"what's NTO" i ask *innocently*

NTO?? who needs help with english now huh??

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the saga continues today...

Torin sees me online and says hi again.

He asks me what et puis means...

"it means and then in french my dear ignorant one" i replied

I guess i'm in a cheeky mood...

he asks me for inspiration to write travel pieces as his portfolio for a travel magazine interview...

Still feeling cheeky, i suggest writing a piece about travelling in time. A holiday in France in the 1700s... quite clever i thought... i mean if you could sell a holiday in France in the 1700s to me then you could probably sell ice to eskimos... and it was funny

then he asks me if the girl in my msn picture Amanda is my friend...

to which i replied... yeah or maybe she's a random stranger or maybe i'm lesbian and she's my girlfriend

he was deaf to my sarcasm and eagerly asked if Amanda was single.

"you'd hope so" i type *boy is this guy desperate*

"so do you think she and & me could be couple?"

*oh my gawd*

Someone bring in the restrainers

"are you white? doesn't look like it... fraid not then... maybe you could colour your hair blonde"

"what about you... are you still with your bf? or u single now?"

*ARRRGHHH!!!*

Rabid dog on the loose.

Hello!!! i just told you i have a bf like less than 24 hours ago...

"my my... you're quite keen aren't you? unfortunately, i'm still happily attached to my boyfriend."

"but we can still be friends right?"

"i have my doubts... you freak me out with the things you say"

I go for my shower.... after which, i found he left me this message on my com

"so you don't want to chat anymore? that ok :) (--> note the smiley before the rant)
to be honest, i think you're the strange one... last night ur telling me how you wanna break up with your bf, 2nite you say the opposite & when i ask you about travel story you tell me write a story from the year 1781!!! ur a freak dont msg me anymore ok"

I laugh somemore

and my boyfriend reprimands me for getting off on upsetting strangers

:'(

can't a girl have some fun? doesn't anyone have a sense of humour anymore??

*grumble*

2006-04-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

Had dinner with Mart's extended family today at a chinese restaurant in Chatswood. It reminded me of the dinners with my extended family back home... the lazy susan and a round table, relatives all squashed cosily around the table, inane banter about everything from baby names to work and of course, not forgetting, reminscing... plus, great food from crabs to abalone to fish...

even though alot of conversation was lost on me, it was still nostalgic and suddenly, a crazy idea came into my head... i wondered if perhaps I should go back home one day... permanently...

life in Singapore is rather monotonous. There's only so much I can do there. From going to wala's, to shopping at orchard road, bugis or city hall, to having supper... I don't really club much so there goes MOS, MS and zouk... work there is crap too... petty policitics, unreasonable slave drivers and lack of staff welfare. But what Sydney can't give to me that only Singapore can is family...

I wish i had family around me to depend on... they'd be good for calling when I get a flat tyre and an unreliable boyfriend. Cousins would be good for catching up over coffee and having dinners. Nephews and nieces would be good to play with and spoil. Watching them grow up...

and I guess because i was brought up to be filial, a part of me feels I should spend more time with my gran and me folks...

But if i were to be realistic about the possibility of me going home, then I'd admit that would be really low if not impossible.

I've always lamented about how crappy Singaporean men can be... it is so hard to find an agreeable singaporean male whilst living in singapore. Now that I'm away and the ratio of singaporean men to non-singaporean men is so much more unfavourable, i can't imagine how i'd be able to meet a singaporean man whom i'd like and who would be interested in me too...

Plus, i'm already seeing and Australian/irish/chinese

So.... Since i don't think i'd ever go out with a Singaporean again, hence, I'd never be compelled to go home and therefore, i can just kiss my big chinese family dinners goodbye.

i guess i could always ingratiate myself with mart's extended family and live my big chinese "family" dinners vicariously through him and his family... all of them were warm and friendly

cept for Bev who happens to be mart's closest cousin. I think she's my age. call it intuition (although i call it common sense) but i'm pretty sure Bev doesn't like me. the reason is unbeknownst to me. afterall, I've only met her twice but then again, people tend not to need good reasons to dislike one another. All i know is that she made me uncomfortable the first time we met and today, the second time, she didn't say a single word to me (bear in mind, everyone else in the family all seemed excited to meet me), which is just the kind of cold attitude you'd intentionally put on to make someone new to a group feel uncomfortable.

But i'm not the grovelling sort so i'll leave ingratiation to another day.

So for now, i'm family-less in sydney... bleah

2006-04-08T00:57:00.000-07:00

I was upset with myself this morning.

Upset because I felt fat.

Of late, I've been using the word "prerogative" a fair bit to excuse my insane behavior. Everything insane is a girl's prerogative.

Anyway, feeling fat once in a while is a girl's prerogative. Feeling fat and upset and taking it out on anyone within 2 metres of you is a girl's prerogative.

Feeling fat and upset enough to take it out on your dysenteric boyfriend who happens to be running up a temperature whilst trying to reassure you that you are still as lovely as ever is however just poor behavior.

Thankfully my boyfriend is great most of the time (not so great with car trouble though)

Anyway, from feeling fat, a whole host of other discontentments with my life surfaced... Like feeling pissed off that I haven't been conscious of my spending, like not being adult enough to take care of my paperwork (seriously, paperwork, bureaucracy and red tape will be the death of us all), like letting my life just waste away (mmm... rotting away.... my favourite indulgence).

And the more I thought about how much crap I had in my life, the more I felt helpless. So i flopped myself on my bed and moped my morning away. Which wasn't much help of course but sometimes, wallowing (which is my other favourite indulgence) is a girl's prerogative too.

I knew i was acting like i'd forgot my meds.

Heck, it was a beautiful day outside... the skies were a brilliant blue and the sun was shinning so brightly it would have been hard to feel miserable but Mindy prevailed and managed to put a shadow over herself. Ahhh *pats self on back* I wasn't an ex-depressive all those years for nothing...

Although, in mitigation, I would like to add that in between my moping, i did had flashes of lucidity, albeit short ones. I did try to pull my socks up and put on a cheerful grin. And twice, we almost made it out of the house to enjoy a beautiful day together. Almost...

I'd like to think that it was for the best anyway that we didn't cos the poor boy started running a temperature... maybe it was from all the efforts he had to exert to pacify ME... :( My bad... so in an act of penance, i made him peanut and chicken congee (mmm..... reminds me of times when i fall sick and mom makes that)

I guess girls are like that. It's not an excuse but all girls get days like that don't they? days when they feel lumpy and frumpy... days where they just want to curl up and the world to disappear... and it's nice when you have punching bag boyfriends on those days... boyfriends that can take the hit and come bouncing back like a Bu Dao Wong =)

he says i'm childish. *hrmph*

*stomps feet and flops on ground, kicking heels into the floor*

someone once said, not too long ago "but i really love you and sometimes i make mistakes"

2006-04-07T15:18:00.000-07:00

We brought Peter and Niki out last night for a feast at Musashi. The germans had never had proper sushi and sashimi before and wanted to find out what it was like. After dinner, we headed of to an irish pub "paddy maguire" for a coupla of beers and then off to Bar Broadway for more beers and pool.

Peter =)

Don't be fooled by his goofy camera face. Niki is really cute with ashy blonde hair and bluish eyes. Jol's ethan hawke is *grimace* no where near in comparison.

Ian looking suave

marty looking chinky
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I have been a good girl at work. Instead of spending the better part of my mornings furiously blogging away, I have have been hard at work. I've realised that my days are too short. I need my full 8 hours of work to get things done and any slacking off on my part only serves to cause me more grief when I bring work home or work on the weekends.

anyway, life has been slow and mundane and I have nothing much to lament about i suppose

although the other day, I did have a moment of inspiration, reminiscent of my former self.

whilst on my way to work, sitting on the bus, and thinking about stuff as you do on long bus journeys, I wondered when was the precise moment I realised I had fallen in love.

and it was the feeling, when I woke up one morning and felt like I wanted to do so much for this person but yet, everything that I felt i could do for him would not ever be enough to show him how much i felt for him, which lead to the epiphany that I am in love.

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Poor ol mart was sick this morning. He had been tossing and turning in bed since the wee hours of dawn as he felt nauseous. All my attempts to get him to stick a couple of fingers down his throat to clear his system and make himself feel better was futile and he stubbornly refused to puke. when i asked him why he said he just didn't want to. where's the reason in that? if you feel sick, you puke.
anyway he suffered...
after a couple of hours when he roused me with his tossing once again, i tried telling him to retch it out saying I would help him and relief this time when he leapt out of bed and said ok. i sleepily got up and slowly pattered to the bathroom behind him but before i got there, i already heard him heaving away loudly...
literally bleah...
after some back stroking and more heaving, he was done. gave him a warm towel to wipe his face and a mug of warm water and voila, he was good as new and back with a vengence, behaving like an idiot, shaking his huge womanly ass at me. It made me laugh. =)
Finally, and quite suddenly too, he declared he was off to bed to sleep for another 12 hours and tottered off to bed, leaving me, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, to my own devices (where devices i mean laptop) and so i was finally able to get some blogging done.

oh something else note-worthy...

I told mart that I have been getting alot of responses for my online dating account and told him to check out the men that have been saying hi to me. He went online and read out the profiles of each of them and decided one of them sounded fun and sent a response back so we could be friends. I read that guy's profile a few days later and realised one thing. Mart and I had the same "taste" in men. That sounded good at first but then it actually is quite worrying since Mart does sounds quite faggoty when he tries to say "chey"... i wonder if his sexual identity is suspect *strokes chin*

anyway, back to the online dating guy... Self-deprecating humour is always good and I guess that was what stood out in his profile. the rest were either too boring, too short, too ugly or too old...

so anyway, this online dating guy dropped me an email giving me his msn details and now, he's on my list and chatting with me. I've just told him I have a boyfriend and I wonder if he's disappointed because he's wasted credits sending me and email... i hope not because he does sound like a person i'd like to be friends with.

2006-04-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Don't like snobs... especially social class snobs

Hate em...

With a vengence...

They make me feel icky...

Make me feel small...

Even though their snobbery is hardly ever directed at me,

And that's more because people are rarely snobbish to your face

but it sickens me to think that perhaps,

others could be laughing behind my back at me too...

But what really annoys me is

What gives them the right to be snobbish anyway?

Because they live in a nicer area?

Because they studied in better schools?

Because they look better? have more money? are smarter?

pppffft...

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2006-04-03T04:34:00.000-07:00

i've been trying to write this blog entry like 5 times but i never get round to completing or saving it so it just gets lost in cyberspace. i'm getting tired of doing this over and over again so i'm just gonna give highlights of my birthday weekend which went really really well, all things considering.

Act I. eve of bday.
marty falls asleep before midnight and after midnight, i wake him up by thumping my index finger repeatedly on the tip of his nose so he can wish me a happy bday. i get sulky because he barely manages a grunt and right then, i decide not to celebrate my bday at all...

--> I'm afterall a girl and it's my prerogative to throw girl tantrums as and when i like to.

Act II. Morning of bday
wake up feeling much better about bday, decide not to go in to work. had breckie with marty in verandah. beautiful morning. chilly weather

Act III. Noon of bday
Lunch with beat, ee lin, sang, marty and some other colleagues. Sang passed me my bday party pack and i knew my bday was gonna be cool no matter how shitty the rest of the day turned out. this was sydney and nothing was gonna stop me. ROCK ON!!

Act IV. afternoon of bday.
persuaded beat to go shopping with mart and myself. went to oxford street where shopping is expensive but figured "hey it's my bday!!".... wanted to do major damage to bank account but barely managed a scratch. Darn... beat on the other hand was on a roll... t'was still great fun trying on weird caps, sunnies and clothes... lesson learnt: marty looks gay in a tilted cap.

Act V. evening of bday
invited beat over for simple dinner of puttanesca and angel hair.

Act VI. after dinner
wanted to give beat lift home but she said she needed to digest and wanted to stay a while longer... thought... "OK... weird for beat to say so considering boyfriend was waiting for her to bring dinner home and how would staying on at my place help digestion anyway"... ended up watching dumb video clips of the net. (please see www.angryaliens.com and www.youtube.com search for mad tv, parody of memoirs of a geisha for entertainment)
finally at around 9ish, thought to self... surely beat wants to go home now and suggested once again that i could send her home... Marty immediately pipes up eagerly "show beat the brokeback moutain bunnies clip!" (see www.angryaliens.com )... thought to self... "ok something is definitely up... can it be more obvious?" Apparently... i lean forward to search for the clip on my laptop and marty and beatrice who are seated on either side of me lean in towards each other and start whispering...
this was my cue to turn around and ask "ok... what the hell is going on"
can't anyone around here get a surprise right i wonder???
they put on their most guilty and sheepish face ever... i don't think they could ever win an emmy for acting... sigh....
so the truth came out,.... amanda was planning a surprise... wahaha... well surprise was on her.

Act VII. Amanda comes....
amanda sms-es mart telling him she's here and to get him to bring her in... mart is a wuss and doesn't tell amanda that i already know about the surprise... i drag beat into the stairwell outside my apartment door and wait for amanda to come so we can jump out and surprise her from behind... amanda, gen, karl and the 2 martins comes with a cake and flaming candles... they open the door slowly and quietly... i spring out from behind and say SURPRISE.... everyone turns around and looks at me... expressionless... my brow furrows and i feel like time has stood still... why aren't they surprised??? i say "surprise" again once more.... this time less enthusiastically and more unsure of myself... everyone springs to life just then and we all have a good laugh as i get birthday hugs from everyone... yay... apparently the estonians were stoned... that explains the lack of emotions...

Act VIII. Exchange hotel
went there for drinks, listen to live band, get wasted... ended early, went home to spend QUALITY time with the love of my life... had a great night with him chatting and bonding, went star gazing, saw bright shiny planet in the sky... fell in love all over again... SHHHWWWEEET!

Act IX. The morning and noon after the big night out
woke up and lazed in bed for 5 hours... i'm amazed... can you fucking believe that?? and we didn't even fall back to sleep... woke at 830 and actually got out of bed at 130 for lunch... went for shanghainese at ashfield... we were sooo famished... guo tie, fried rice and chinese pancakes... yummmmm

Act X. afternoon activities the day after the big night
went to glebe sappho books for great coffee... went walking in the glebe markets... went to park at broadway, played with cute dog that looked like toupee, decided to visit lisa and dom and check Pontoof out... (Pontoof is cute whippet that lisa and dom just got)... brought Pontoof to the park with Dom, played with several dogs.. headed off to mart's place to get tickets for play

Act XI. evening action
took a nap at mart's place, snuggled for a little while in front of heater... brrr.. cold night out. went to seymour theatre to watch play about beastiality -- "the goat or where is sylvia" is the title of the play... had drinks with mart's friend at the rose hotel after that.... and then had dinner at super bowl... hot congee and fried noodles for a cold wintery autumn night... went home, collapsed in bed after a short frolic.

Act XII. Sunday morning...
dragged mart up and met up with amanda for breckie... yay daylight savings... one more hour in the day... went to le petit creme for breakfast. hot viet waitress that victor drooled over still works there... put on a bit of weight though.. but then again doesn't everybody... went shopping in the city after that and put a $50 deposit on a $250 pair of boots.... YESH... finally... got something for meself... Mart buys me a 2nd bday present... a jamie oliver cookbook... Yay!!!! my idol.... i wonder if he is hinting something...

Act XIII. Sunday arvo.
Headed off to manly to meet up with peter... amanda, gen and karl came along... play beach volleyball and soccer... fun fun fun...

Act XIV. Sunday evening.
Sun down, get beers and big out on hungry jacks and cheap chinese cai fan... after dinner and beer guzzling, realised it was only 830pm... what the hell? night's still young so headed back to marty's place where there was tv watching and play station soccer playing... finally called the weekend over at 11~ish... Collapsed into bed at 12 midnight tired but satisfied that the weekend was well spent....

2006-03-29T14:24:00.000-08:00

Been having a spate of bad luck lately. which is quite unfortunate considering how good my year has been to me so far. Work is still going good and my life prima facie, seems pretty good.

Last Saturday, i was in high spirits as i drove out early in the morning to do a spot of shopping, go to the gym and maybe a haircut. But five minutes from home and i realised the car was clumping along and i stopped in a small road to check my tyres. Buggeration. I had a flat. And because i'm really a dumb girl, i was absolutely clueless and called the one person i thought i could depend on. Yes. You should already know who i'm talking about and if you picked up the past tense then you already know where this is heading to.

So anyway, just my luck, getting a flat on a saturday morning. Bummer. At least i had a boyfriend i could depend on, or so i thought.

After frantically pleading for help on the phone, he gave me vague instructions to look in the boot for my spare tyre. I tried lifting up the carpeting but it didn't look like it would give and given i had no experience with cars whatsoever, i figured maybe this car didn't come with a spare.

After telling Mart that i didn't think i had a spare, i expected him to immediately offer to come down and help me out but surprise surprise, Mart told me to give NRMA (road side assistance) a call saying they'd fix me up easy. He actually helped me find the number for the NRMA...

how nice of him *dripping with sarcasm*

so i gave NRMA a call and found out the only thing they could do for me if i didn't have a spare, was to tow me to the nearest car workshop but for that, i had to pay a membership fee with them for about 240 bucks. So i figured it'd be better if my darling boyfriend went to the workshop, picked up a tyre and fixed my car up for me. $$ savings all around.

So i gave him a call again.

And this time, i was in for a bigger surprise. Not only did he not offer to come immediately to my rescue, he nonchalantly told me to get david to help me out. WHAT THE FUCK.

I was furious. Seething with anger would be quite an apt desciption in fact.

I secretly cursed myself for allowing myself to be dependent because of my ignorance. i quickly put down the phone with him and gave david a call to find out what were my options. fortunately, the car did have a spare and i decided i'd much rather pay 240 bucks to NRMA which i now consider to be the only friend i have in sydney when it comes to car break downs than to call the bum i call a boyfriend to help me out.

Whilst waiting for by NRMA buddy, who took an hour to come, mart called.

Mart: How's it going?

Me: *in most monotonous voice* fucked up. what do you expect

Mart: what did david say?

me: i found a spare tyre

mart: so what are you doing now?

Me: waiting for the NRMA guy to come

Mart: ok. how much to did you have to pay?

Me: 240 bucks

Mart: wow! didn't know that

I'm thinking: you fucking jerk. piss off

*silence ensues*

Mart: So how long will you have to wait

Me: *still in super sian voice* an hour

mart: oh ok

*silence again*

Mart: is there anything i can do to make you feel better?

Me: *snaps* you could have offered to come down

he comes up with whiny excuses that i've completely shut out

*silence*

if silence could kill, he would have been died many deaths

after prolonged silence and many deaths later, we awkwardly hung up the phone.

i tell myself that episode was an expensive lesson learnt that one should never ever depend on anyone else but i also started to wonder why the fuck was i in a relationship when i couldn't even depend on my boyfriend. I mean here i am, restricting my freedom to see more than one person when i can't even depend on the one person i'm seeing?? as if putting all my eggs in one basket isn't bad enough, i can't even take that basket with me!!!

after the tyre got fixed up, i drove angrily to the hairdresser and had a colour and a trim. after hours of being fussed over, i felt much better and even felt forgiving but the sms i saw on my phone immediately after only served to push my buttons further.

It read: i'm sorry i kinda contributed to your crummy day.

KINDA CONTRIBUTED??!!!!

he's the sole fucking reason.

MEN can be such imbeciles

i seethed and i seethed and i seethed some more

i felt like a boiling cauldron, on the verge of overflowing with rage.

and so i replied him, an hour later, when my anger had lessen and i didn't feel like a raving loony..

and the gist of it was something along the lines of.... in case you didn't realise, YOU're the only reason why i'm having a crummy day. getting a flat tyre is no biggie but you not coming to help me out was a real disappointment etc...

as expected, he called back quickly to apologise but by then it was too late and my anger took over and i couldn't help but rant at him for not being there for me et cetera.

In his defence, he said: i really love you but sometimes i make mistakes too...

and because i'm such a nice softy, i felt bad for making him feel bad and couldn't be angry at him anymore...

LIKE WAT THE FUCK??!!!

he should be skewered on a satay stick and roasted in the deepest regions of hell for making me feel helpless and paying 240 bucks just to get someone to put in a new wheel.

beatrice thinks that aussie men are like that. it's just not in their culture to take care of their girlfriends.

I'm still pissed when i think about it.

Like why the fuck do i have to put things into perspective for these blundering idiots and by blundering idiots i mean MEN

example:
I asked him: so would you help your mom out if she called you about her flat?

Him: no... cos she has an NRMA membership. She woulda called them

Me: *thinking what the fuck!!!* well... *impatience mounting* what if SHE DIDN"T???

Him: *sheepishly* err... i'd go help her out

Me: UH HUH....... *raging*

what is the problem with men. why can't they do the right thing sometimes?

even a week later, i still rage at the thought of this and a whole string of expletives come to mind.

chee byeeeeeeee

2006-03-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

Our fortune cookies

Had dinner with Matt the other day. If you're wondering who matt is, he's francis aka frankie's friend from brissy who came down with rod and dan sometime last year. around May i think... and Dan ran down the corridor of their hotel naked... (see archives for entry)...

So anyway, had dinner at this chinese restaurant because dear ol matt loves his chinese food (as well as his chinese girls i found out) and after the dinner, they brought out fortune cookies for us... =) how exciting... after reading zhing's blog a couple of weeks ago where she had a picture of fortune cookies she had in a chinese restaurant, i was under the impression that only in america did you get fortune cookies. But lo and behold, you get them in North Sydeny, Greenwood Seafood Restaurant as well...

According to Mart, if you add the 2 words "in bed" after a fortune cookie fortune, you sometimes get something funky.

So, what did the cookies tell about our fortunes?

Marty's --> You'll always be successful in your business or professional career (""in bed" - haha)

Note the always in his fortune.

Ian's fortune was mostest coolest. His read 'there's a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you ("in bed" - FUNNY!)" and guess what? Ian's going over to BeiJing on a one week business trip. A white guy in china? a thrilling time seems like an understatement.

Mine i reckon was the most cryptic... it read "think like a person of action, and act like a person of thought"

*scratches head*

so does it mean i should be impulsive but yet think through my actions carefully?

ian reckons i should just sit there and go... "ok i'm gonna do this now! Noooooooooo... wait a minue, what if... NO!! NOW!!! but then........................................"

sounds schizo...

and then even if i did that, it would ultimately mean i'm wishy washy and probably acting more like a person of thought albeit idiotic thoughts than thinking like a person of action.

cheem

2006-03-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

It's really funny, when in the ladies, from behind closed cubicle doors, you hear the sound of piss wooshing into the bowl followed by a bubbly fart... and then you wonder who the hell is inside that cubicle, perhaps even lingering (if you don't get too paranoid about the smell) for a little while to see if you can catch sight of said farter.

There's an unwritten rule about pissing and farting in public toilets. But before we digress further, a quick foray into the unwritten rule of pissing and farting in public toilets.

It is widely acknowledged that whilst in use of public toilets where cubicles are created by mere partitions hence allowing for sound to travel easily throughout the entire toilet, one should exercise restraint in letting go of one's stomach gases so as to cause little if not no noise disturbance to the other toilet users. This is to ensure no distress is caused to others and no embarrassment is caused to oneself.

Anyway, not all girls abide by aforementioned rule. As usual, you get the non-conformists. However, there is a difference in the renegades of public piss farting ettiquette and the renegades of generally all other rules in life. The difference being that public piss farting renegades are not of the hip and trendy sort, rather they are usually, old and dowdy... generally uncool and hence the nonchalance. =)

So why the sudden discussion about public piss farting you ask?

*Sheepish*

Whilst taking a piss this morning, i absentmindly let one long happy fart go... happy because it sounded all bubbly *blub blub* so i was like pissing away and my mind was drifting when suddenly the inspiration to fart came about and i started letting one go...

and as the fart continued bubbling out, I soon started wondering if this could go down into the anals of the guiness book of records for longest fart ever (speaking of which i wonder if there is such a record... most probably aye) when i suddenly realised that oopsie... quite inconsiderate of me to consider the feelings of the other toilet users whom i presume at this time were making quick escape plans before the place stank up (i'd like the record to state that there was no stench).

Of course the ones in the cubicles quietly going about their business couldn't make as quick an escape as they hoped...

i was mildly ashamed of myself (if that's even possible) and decided i would stay hidden in the cubicle until everyone left hence avoiding the accusatory stares i might have otherwise been subjected to.

fortunately, after much toilet paper rustling and toilet flushing the toilet was emptied and i slunk out sheepishly (after washing my hands of course)

So... I disobeyed the unwritten public piss farting rule... which would mean that either i'm old and dowdy, i'm getting alzhiemers or BOTH...

In parting, i wonder why we feel obliged to obey the unwritten public piss farting rule. what a pity methinks cos shouldn't the joys of a most satisfying fart, a long bubbly one let off whilst taking a pee be shared?

2006-03-20T05:30:00.000-08:00

It was Amanda's bday today. Met up with her and wanted to have dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant along George Street but by the time French lesson ended, the restaurant was closed for the day so we went to good ol superbowl instead.

Don't be fooled by the Ang Mohish name. It's really quite a fantabulous restaurant for cheap hongkong cuisine served up by real hongkongers. you get the greasy chinese restaurant floor, the weak chinese tea in metal pots, the chaos and also the efficient clearing of tables which consists of sloshing gravy into one big plate and staking all other plates up with gravy filled plate at the top most.

Amanda: yao mo ping suey ( do you have iced water)

Waiter: pink suey??? *in a gwei lou accent*

Amanda: iced water

Waiter: orh.... peng suey...

Amanda & me: *laughs* heh heh....

we are hongky wanabes.... and we get a lesson in proper cantonese enunciation.

Dinner was great. Plain white rice with yummy dishes... haven't had that in yonks... i miss home and home cooked food. We had stewed beef brisket and radish, kai lan and oyster sauce, dough sticks, deep fried crispy beef, ba wang chicken and deep fried squid with spicy salt. The best way to feel warm and fuzzy inside is to have hot food down the gullet.... mmm....

Weather in sydney is turing cool. A sign of wintery months ahead. In a blink of an eye, summer is over. Sigh... so much for living it up this summer. It seems i've barely achieved anything. was initially planning to hermitise myself this week to get myself up to speed with the banal necessities of existence like laundry, ironing and the like but then life is to bleeding short to be tied down by unnecessary necessities.

anyway, amidst our little celebration, both of us felt a tinge of melancholia. It was sobering to realise that we're so far away from home. The yummy dinner that reminds me of zhi char at kopitiams, the absence of close friends who care... family...

not that celebrating birthdays was ever that big a deal to me but it's sad when you feel that no one in sydney would really take the effort to. And i feel bad that i didn't make more of an effort for Amanda's bday too... Bah... i'm a bad friend...

Fortunately, the guys were really sweet. Gen drew her a little portrait which i thought was so sweet and they bought her a pudgee toy and gave her flowers and balloons.... awww.... which also kinda reminded me of my bday when eugene, wen cong, hector et al came to my place, bought me a balloon and gave me mr bean's bear... and then the realisation that my friends are all NOT HERE..... waahhhh.............. wahhhhh...... waaahhh........

if only i could transport them here... *sniffles*

2006-03-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

went up to Mart's parent's place at sanctuary point over the weekend.

The road trip got off to a rather rocky start due to the St Patrick day's traffic. It seemed as if everyone was hitting the pubs for a green guiness except for the both of us. Traffic into the city was absolutely horrendous and we were starving and getting a little cranky. Not so much at each other but moods were slightly grumpy...

we finally gave up in the city and headed east towards kingsford (chinese populated suburb) in the hopes that the chinese people there were not as keen on celebrating St Pat's as the rest of the sydneysiders...

after filling our tummies at the first empty looking chinese restaurant we found, we both agreed we were in better spirits and gave each other a reassuring hug and officially began our drive down south =)

the drive down was boring really... it was night and there were no street lights along the highway... i can't imagine how mart kept awake but he did and we got there unscathed, plonk our stuff down, had a mini tour of the house and collapsed into bed sound asleep.

most unfortunately, woke up saturday morning to a rather cloudy day but that didn't deter us from making a trip to the beach. oh the beach the beach... it had sand that was so fine it squeaks when you shuffle your feet. i know it sounds hard to believe that sand squeaks but it did... the water was bluish even though the sky was overcast. (did you know that the sea is blue because it reflects the colour of the sky?) It was also unbelievably clean. the only things that were washed up were blue bottles (portugese man of war) and seaweed. No washed up plastic bottles, no plastic bags, cigarette butts nothing...

we took a walk along some rocks which created a mini lagoon where the water was shallow and clear and we could clearly see the sandy bottom...

after our beach stroll, we drove into the little town centre where Mart's mom operated a pharmacy. we bought a pie and a chocolate mud muffin from the bakery next door and they both turned out delicious. the pie had a layer of sweet peas over mince... mm.... and the chocolate mud muffin had a funky layer of chocolate icing. both tasted homemade. i guess you can't go wrong with homemade food. we sat on a wooden log thingy and ate.... enjoying the quiet, the slow pace of life and each other.

everything was unhurried.

by the time we got back home, it was barely 12 noon and we prepared risotto for lunch and then watched "love me if you dare" --> if you haven't watch it you don't know what you're missing. This is like the 2nd time i'm watching this show. Mart knows i really like this movie and bought it was a surprise for me... aww...

after the movie, we walked to the nearby store and bought ice cream and took a walk and kicked a soccer ball in the reserve at the back of his house along St George's basin. we were kinda hoping to spot kangeroos but all we did was spot their shit... darn!! i had to go back in when i realised that the mozzies were feasting on me...

after which we repeated the routine of preparing dinner, watching a dvd and sleep...

sunday morning, woke up, had breckie, played boggle where i lost to mart. i've gotta hand it to him though.. he came up with far more funky words than i did...

we commenced the drive back home at about 11 and stopped at a town, Berry for lunch. Berry is really a cute town. with a motel having a facade entirely covered in car rims, quaint shops selling cute household items, a flea market selling antiques, lots of little cafes and book stores. We had lunch at a cafe with a shady courtyard and before setting off home, we stopped at a trucker stop selling fresh donuts which are fried up only when you order them and dusted with cinnamon and sugar. mmm....

the drive back home from berry was just breath-takingly beautiful with sprawling hills, wineyards, horses and cows languishing in fields, emu farms, more fields, more forests, more hills, winding roads and road trippy music like summer of 69 and travelling at speeds of 110km... i start getting wild ideas in my head of winning millions in the lottery and buying a wineyard or a farm and living out the rest of my life in the country.

now back to city life and reality... bleah

the slob

2006-03-15T23:12:00.000-08:00

my boyfriend became officially unemployed last friday in order to fulfill his dream of becoming a useless flea ridden bum that plays world of warcraft all day long. where he intends to get his fleas i have no idea.

Anyway, it's our 2 month aniversary. 15th... i completely forgot *ashamed* but he remembered. So he made the "long and arduous" (HE DROVE AND PARKED IN MY OFFICE) journey of travelling down from Chatswood to the city just to have lunch with Moi........

but horrors of horrors, imagine how aghast i was when the lift doors (at my office lobby might i add) parted to reveal my geek of a boyfriend in what looked like the t-shirt he slept in with creases and all of a suspicious looking shade of grey... and to add to the look, a pair of crumply cargos of a similar greyish hue. Did i mention the t-shirt had a stretched collar as well? was this part of his plan to become a flea ridden dirtbag?

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry...

and mostly, i felt like bouncing off the walls...

i gave him a perfunctory hug and pulled away quite quickly... trying to keep a distance

ok i admit... i was embarrassed...

i crossed my fingers and hoped no one who knew me would see me with this living origami...

Noticing the unusual great show of affection on my part, Marty kinda sussed that i wasn't exactly thrilled about his attire and happily declared "hey... i've got hobo gloves in here... let me just put them on..." (hobo gloves think gloves with the fingers cut off)

and... "there's a hole in the underarm of my t-shirt"

*big grin on his face*

Nooooooo i screamed silently... as i gaped at him in disbelief... what was wrong with him or was it me?? (begs the age old question of who is the bigger the loser. The loser himself? or the one that actually likes the loser?)

i swear he probably does this just to get some reaction from me...

woe be to me...

i refuse to look at his armpits and start chanting a little mantra in my head...

"out of sight, out of mind. out of sight, out of mind"

Me: you look like you're wearing the clothes you slept in.

Mart (proudly): I am wearing the clothes i sleep in

Me: No... you slept naked last night

Mart: yeah i usually wear this t-shirt to bed.

Me: How could you wear this out. you're unbelievable

Mart: I was wearing this at home and i was rushing out to meet you so i forgot

Me: Forgot? How could you? Would you rush out in your boxers?

Mart: No... cos i wouldn't be wearing my boxes and walking around at home

Me: and so you would wear cargos and a t-shirt at home but not dress up better to go out.

Mart: Yeah of course. What if a burglar comes? I wouldn't want to be seen in boxers.

Me: Right of course!! (i see the light now... my boyfriend is retarded)

I sighed inwardly and reminded myself of the reasons why i like him... cos he's sweet, cute, tall, smart, funny and he loves me to bits.... but is it enough for me to justify dating a daggy dresser???

so throughout lunch, i refuse to look below his neck. which is really hard when you're dating someone tall... so how do you manage? you stand side by side at traffice lights, keep your eyes focused ahead and think happy thoughts. of course, once seated at lunch, things get a whole lot easier...

a little while later

After i got off work, Mart came by to the city to pick me up again... in the same ghetto get up... and this time...

"i just bladed from Chatswood to Artamon"

Great... now he's sweaty and maybe even stinky to boot...

i narrow my eyes at him, shake my head and stare at the road straight ahead...

after dinner, i try to make him see my point of view...

Me: Ok... imagine if you were working in the city right? and i came in to meet you for lunch dressed in my PJs.... How would you feel?

Mart: that'd be cool

Me: What would your colleagues think?

Mart: See, in IT it's different

In my head i silently curse the IT profession and their unwritten rule about wearing crappy clothes to work

Me: What if you had to wear shirts and pants to work? and i turned up in PJs

Mart: They'd go "COOL!! you have a girlfriend!! we just play computer games"

I couldn't help but laugh although images of him bending over so i could kick his arse popped in my head.

But just when i thought he couldn't get any worse, he out does himself my showing me the tear in his t-shirt...

Might i add, he did so with pride...

it's so big you could fit a fist in... yet he doesn't see what's wrong

yeeeeeeeeaaaaggghhhhhhhhh.................

Someone kill me puh... leaseeeeeeee.........